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EPITAPHS 



QUAINT, CURIOUS, AND ELEGANT. 



■WITH BEMABKS OX THE 

©bsf^utcs of "Fan'ous i^att'ons. 



COMPILED AND COLLATED BY 

HENRY TAMES LOARING, 

AUTHOR OF "COMMON SAYINGS, WORDS AND CUSTOMS," ETC. 




LONDON: WILLIAM TEGG. 



.L4 




Ef.ch in his narrow cell for ever laid 

The rude forefathers of the hamlet sleep. 
Gray, Elegy ; 




PREFACE. 



Epitaphs form a connecting link between the 
past, the present, and the future. 

Under the greatest bodily sufferings man still 
feels the endearing tiefof life, and is solicitous not 
to be forgotten, and he who preserves a monument, 
records a name, or rescues an inscription that is 
nearly effaced, is entitled to remembrance. 

This Collection is the result of personal obser- 
vation, research, and friendly contributions, during 
the last twenty years. 

Epitaphs in Churches and Churchyards, generally 
speaking, belong to one of the following classes : 



PREFACE. 



(i) Elegant, (2) Trade and Professional, (3) Witty 
and Grotesque. The compiler has therefore placed 
them in chapters under those heads. The remainder, 
which there is some difficulty in classifying, it has 
been found advisable to introduce at the end as 
2)Iiscellaneous. 



CONTENTS. 



• 


PAGE 


Introductory . 


I 


Elegant Epitaphs 


22 


Professional Epitaphs 


■ 8 5 


Witty and Grotesque 


. I44 


Miscellaneous Epitaphs 


. 201 



INTRODUCTORY. 



EPITAPHS doubtless originated in a sense of immor- 
tality. Their invention is attributed to the scholars 
of Linus, the Theban poet, who flourished about the 
2,700th year of the world, and being unhappily slain, 
his scholars lamented the loss of their master in a par- 
ticular kind of mournful verses, called from him ^Elinum, 
and afterwards Epitaphia, because they were sung at 
burials, and engraved upon sepulchres, which may be 
called Monuments a Me?noria, as they were memorials to 
put men in mind of the instability of human nature, and 
the loss of their departed friends, as also to excite their 
meditation by the ideas of death, to a reformation of life. 
Monuments and inscriptions form the cementing link 
between the past, the present, and the future. They may 
be considered in another view, as tributes of surviving 
relatives and friends who labour to preserve a name from 
oblivion ; this is a wish natural to the human heart, a 
desire congenial to the best and purest of our species. 
Under the greatest bodily sufferings, man still feels the 
endearing tie of life, and is solicitous not to be forgotten, 
and he who preserves a monument from mouldering into 
ruin, who records a name, or rescues an inscription that 

& fa.- I 



INTRODUCTORY. 



is nearly effaced, encourages a useful propensity, the 
universal passion, and he is entitled in his turn not to be 
overlooked as a trifler, or as a labourer who has busied 
himself about nothing. Epitaphs are of extensive use in 
tracing descents and pedigrees, as well as in ascertaining 
the time when the party deceased. And it is certainly 
most desirable that some plan should be adopted for pre- 
serving monumental inscriptions from the influence of 
time and chance. 

Epitaphs were used by the ancient Jews, and most of 
the nations of antiquity. The Athenians placed a kind of 
scroll over the burying places of their dead, with the name 
inscribed, and an expression of their good wishes thereon. 
The Lacedemonians would only allow epitaphs to those 
who died honourably in battle. The Greeks, even in the 
earliest times, were wont to inscribe the monumental 
columns which they raised in memory of the dead, with 
appropriate legends — generally in verse — briefly celebrat- 
ing the virtues and distinctions of the deceased. The 
Spartans, with their stern disdain of conventionalities, and 
abhorrence of social affections, interdicted epitaphs, except 
upon the tombs of warriors, and matrons who died in 
travail. The Romans inscribed epitaphs to the spirits of 
the departed, and ancient tombs still exist in the roads 
near Rome, from which the words so frequently seen in 
modern epitaphs are derived, namely, " Siste Viator " — 
" Stop traveller." Turning to the French, we find that 
epitaphs were at one time elevated into an aristocratic 
privilege, and reserved for the especial delectation of lords 
and gentlemen. 

" Earth to earth," and "Dust to dust" seems to have 
been the undeviating custom of primeval man. Adam, 



INTRO D UCTOR Y. 



according to Persian tradition, was buried in the island 
of Serendib, and mighty lions for a long period guarded 
the burial spot. The resting places of the first glorious 
women of the world, are still pointed out to the traveller 
in the Holy Land, — Eve and Sarah, Rebecca and Leah, 
sleep their last sleep, all quiet in the dust. Nor was it till 
later ages that any other custom prevailed, and that im- 
ported from a foreign land. Israel, the first of the great 
patriarchate, who, by his son Joseph, was swathed in cere- 
cloths, and embalmed, was placed in one of the huge 
coffins of Egypt. 

The following passage in Herodotus leads us to suppose 
that the Ethiopians placed their dead in glass coffins : 
" Let us next consider their sepulchres, which are said to 
be constructed of glass. When dead, they dry the body, 
cover it completely with plaster, and exhibit it ornamented 
with pictures resembling the deceased. They then dig a 
grave, and cover it with glass, through which the body is 
visible, neither emitting a disagreeable smell, nor showing 
any signs of corruption." 

Thucydides, speaking of the manner in which Ethio- 
pians dispose of their dead, says, in the third book of his 
history : " Some throw them into the river ; others preserve 
them in their houses, after having inclosed them, as it 
were, in a coffin of glass." In another passage the same 
author says : " The Ethiopians conduct the funerals of 
their dead in a very singular manner. The body is first 
salted to keep it from putrefaction, and then placed in a 
grave covered with glass, that it may be seen through," as 
we read in Herodotus. But Clefias Cnidius denies this, 
telling us that the bodies are indeed salted, but never in- 
closed in glass ; for the likeness of the dead could not in 



INTRODUCTORY. 



that way be retained, as the body would first become 
shrivelled and parched, and then totally decay. A hollow 
statue of gold is therefore cast to contain the body, and 
this being placed in some conspicuous situation, and 
covered with glass, it may be said that a similitude is ex- 
hibited through glass. It is in this manner the funerals 
of the rich are solemnized, while persons of smaller for- 
tune are deposited in statues of silver, and the poor in 
baked clay. Glass is common to all, Ethiopia producing 
it in such abundance that it is found everywhere by the 
inhabitants. 

Egypt excelled all other lands in the splendour of her 
tombs ; the Libyan and Arabian mountains are strewn 
with them, and the pyramids are the monuments of kings. 
Cromlechs were burial places, and abound in England, 
Ireland, Scotland, in the heart of India, and many other 
parts of the known world. These cromlechs, when in a 
perfect state, consist of three or more stones, unhewn, and 
are generally so placed as to form a small enclosure, over 
these a large stone is laid, the whole forming a kind, of 
rude chamber. 

The remains of crosses are interesting, as the common 
sign of the Christian faith, beneath which our converted 
ancestors performed divine worship previously to the 
erection of churches. They were usually set up in cross 
ways, or in the most frequented part of any town. Some 
of these were probably removed afterwards into church- 
yards, and new ones erected in conspicuous situations, for 
the purpose, as it is supposed, of putting the passers-by 
in mind of offering up their prayers for the dead, whose 
remains were therein deposited. 

Burning the bodies of the dead had probably its origin 



INTRODUCTORY. 



in the endeavour to prevent any insult or ill-treatment 
being offered them. When a wealthy Egyptian died, his 
body was removed, and embalmed by his physicians, who 
appear to have united the profession of a surgeon with the 
business of a barber. The process of embalming was 
both tedious and expensive ; occupying seventy days in 
the performance. In ancient Greece, the bodies of the 
dead were consumed by fire. The Athenians occasionally 
interred their bodies in the earth, but it appears that by 
law the practice of burning was enjoined. 

The practice of burning the dead among the ancient 
Romans was attended with numerous and pompous cere _ 
monies, and existed from a remote period. The deceased 
remained for seven days unburied, and on each day was 
washed with hot water and fragrant oils, that in case he 
only slumbered, he might thus be awakened. 

The funeral of Cornelius Sylla, the celebrated dictator, 
was very splendid ; the body was attended by the whole 
of the Senate and the Vestal Virgins, and hymns were 
chanted in celebration of his great achievements. When 
the Emperor Tiberius died, his corpse was buried in Rome 
•with much pomp, and his successor, Caligula, pronounced 
his funeral oration. 

The Chaldeans — otherwise known as the Babylonians 
— were worshippers of the igneous principle. This people 
deeming it a sacrilege to the sun to consume the dead by 
fire, they accordingly embalmed the bodies in honey, 
and so preserved them. Their funeral ceremonies and 
lamentations greatly resembled the Egyptians. 

The Bactrians, who were the inhabitants of an ancient 
kingdom of Asia, now called Khorassan, not only suffered 
the corpses of their friends and relatives to be eaten by 



INTRODUCTORY. 



dogs, but, it is said, kept large and savage ones to devour 
such as lived to an extreme age, or were enfeebled and 
useless through long sickness. 

The Ichthyophagi, or fish-eaters — a people mentioned 
by Ptolemy, and inhabiting the region which lay between 
Carmania and Gedrosia, bordering on the Persian Gulf- 
invariably committed their dead to the sea ; and by this 
means they repaid in the completest manner the obliga- 
tions which they had incurred to its inhabitants. They 
constructed their huts of large fish-bones, of which the 
ribs of the whale served them for beams and rafters, and 
the jaws for doors. The mortars in which they pounded 
their fish— the vessels wherein they set it to bake in the 
sun — an d the bowls which formed their dishes at table, 
were nothing else than the joints of the vertebrae of the 
same sea-monster. 

The Scythians had a mode of disposing of their dead, 
peculiarly their own. They objected to burial in the 
earth, drowning in the sea, and destruction by fire ; 
and having thus rejected three of the elements, made 
choice of the fourth — and suspended the bodies in the air. 
jElian records that the dead were sewn up first in skins, 
for fear that birds of prey should devour them ; they were 
then suspended on the branches of trees, and so gradually 
decayed, the sport of every breath and every storm. 

The Colchians hung up this strange fruit among the 
foliage of their native forests. 

The Heruli women hung themselves, on the death of 
their husbands — not from an impulse of any great affec- 
tion, but because it was fashionable to do so ; and their 
neighbours, by avoiding their society, would have punished 
the breach of propriety they committed in venturing to 



INTRODUCTORY. 



live. In another district of Scythia, the lamenting friends 
and weeping relatives of the departed testified the depth 
of their grief and the height of their affection by eating 
him — the extent of their love being gauged by the extent 
of their appetite. 

The Balearians, who inhabited the islands now known 
by the names of Majorca and Minorca, had a still more 
revolting custom of inhumation ; they bruised the flesh 
and broke the bones of the corpse, crammed them into 
urns, and laid heaps of wood upon them. 

The mode of sepulture employed by the ancient Britons 
is involved in much obscurity. When the grave of Prince 
Arthur, in the Abbey of Glastonbury, was opened by com- 
mand of Henry II., Giraldus Cambriensis, who was pre- 
sent, beheld the bones of that monarch lying in the trunk 
of a tree, with his sword on one side of him, and his beau- 
tiful queen Gueniver on the other. 

In England, tombstones were introduced at an early 
period, and no attempt was ever made to confine them to 
any particular class ; It also appears they were in use 
subsequent to the introduction of Christianity, as we 
read in the Old Testament that people were buried in 
caves, under trees, and in other convenient places ; but 
the custom of burying the dead in enclosed grounds 
expressly set apart for that purpose, was not established 
before the year 200. 

Any person may now erect a monument in any church 
or churchyard, so that it does not hinder the celebration 
of divine worship, and the defacing of it is punishable at 
common law. 

In the year 590, Pope Gregory authorized the relatives 
of the deceased to erect tablets to their memory, that on 



INTRODUCTORY. 



reading the inscription they might be induced to offer 
up prayers for the welfare of their souls ; nor did church- 
yards become common till the latter end of the seventh 
century. 

The pomp of funerals is strictly the heraldic array of a 
baronial burial. The two men, mutes, who stand at the 
doors, being supposed to be the two porters of the castle, 
with their staves in black ; the man who heads the pro- 
cession, wearing a scarf, being a representative of a herald- 
at-arms ; the man who carries a plume of feathers on his 
head being an esquire, who bears the shield and casque, 
with its plume (of feathers) ; the pall-bearers, with batons, 
being representatives of knights -companions-at-arms ; the 
men walking with wands being supposed to represent 
gentlemen ushers with their wands. Literally, all the 
pomp and circumstance with which the barons of high 
birth, ancient lineage, numerous heraldic quarterings, and 
large estates, were conveyed in olden times to " the house 
appointed unto all living," are now copied without the 
slightest significance or utility, the mere dry form trans- 
planted into another grade and class, to which it is singu- 
larly inappropriate, and oppressively expensive. 

Wearing mourning must have been a very ancient 
custom, as Abraham mourned for Sarah, Isaac for his 
father, and the children of Israel for Moses. But on the 
death of a friend, it is customary in most European coun- 
tries to wear black, this colour being deemed the most 
solemn. This is not so, however, for there are many more 
beautiful expressions of condolence. In Eastern Asia 
and other parts, different colours are preferred ; for instance, 
the Chinese, Romans, and Spartans wore white, emblema- 
tical of their friends being in Paradise, clad in robes of 



INTRODUCTORY. 



pure white ; and the law ordained a twelve-months' 
mourning for a husband only. The Egyptians wear yellow, 
in allusion to the fall and decay of the leaf. The Ethio- 
pians, adopt brown, implying that the body has returned 
to its native brown earth. The Turks wear violet, in 
allusion to the early spring flower, or hope on one side, 
and sorrow on the other. The kings of France also 
wear violet ; our kings, as kings of France, used to do the 
same, but the sovereign of England mourns in purple. 
The Islanders of the Pacific wear grey, thereby implying 
that grey hairs go down to the grave in sorrow. 

The Egyptian women went weekly to pray and weep at 
the sepulchres of the dead, and it is their custom to 
scatter a peculiar kind of herb thereon. In Turkey and 
Asia Minor, they adorn the graves with leaves of the palm 
tree, boughs of myrtle and cypress, placed at the head 
and foot. At Aleppo, they cultivate myrtles, because they 
continue green a long period, Yew trees are common in 
our churchyards on account of their being ever green, 
and furnishing branches for the decoration of churches. 
They are more ancient than the conversion of the Saxons, 
and from the number which still remain it seems probable 
that they were generally planted as a necessary part of 
the grave's furniture. At times we see four, one at each 
corner of the churchyard, but more commonly there is only 
one, and that usually on the south side. Every one has 
seen burying places of all conceivable kinds, and every 
one knows how prominent a feature they form in the 
English landscape. The Germans call a churchyard the 
garden of God. 

It was in former times the practice to plant herbs and 
flowers about the grave, and it is still a mark of pure affec- 



INTRODUCTORY. 



tion, as may be seen by a visit to our cemeteries ; but in 
other parts of the world it is more prevalent than in 
England. 

The widow's cap intimates that the wife, being one 
with her husband, has, in a manner, died with him. 

How sublime was that most beautiful custom of the 
ancients, who buried the young at morning twilight ; for as 
they strove to give the softest interpretation to death, so 
they imagined that " Aurora," the goddess of the morning, 
who loved the young, had stolen them to her embrace ! 

The Russians are highly superstitious about the dead. 
On the day the funeral takes place, the body is accom- 
panied to the grave with many outward testimonies of 
grief by the relations ; the priest then produces a paper, 
drawn up and signed by the bishop and another clergy- 
man, which purports to be the passport that will admit 
the deceased to heaven. The precious document is placed 
between the fingers of the corpse, and the sorrowing 
friends having seen the earth closed over him, return to 
the house of the departed, where they indulge in affliction 
and brandy for forty days. 

There is no business in the life of a Chinese so important 
to him as his funeral, and no object of art or science in 
which he is so much interested as his coffin. A wealthy 
man will expend 1,000 crowns upon this ghastly piece of 
vanity ; a poor man will give all he is worth ; and a son 
is frequently known to sell himself for a slave, that he 
may purchase a rich coffin for his father. 

The Burmese practise the rites of cremation, and 
attach great importance to the ceremonies of their funerals. 
When a man of rank dies, his body is enclosed » in a 
varnished coffin, and the talapoi?ts i or priests, sing solemn 



INTRODUCTORY. 



hymns over it. After a grand procession, the body is 
laid upon a pyre of precious woods, erected near some 
temple ; and the spectacle is frequently heightened in 
magnificence by the introduction of theatrical perform- 
ances. After the pyre has been lighted, it is suffered to 
burn till a considerable part of it is consumed, when the 
body is rescued from the flames, and the remaining portion 
interred in the neighbouring cemetery. 

The Tonquinese burn the bodies, and deposit the ashes 
in cinerary urns. J 

The funeral ceremonies of Turkey are particularly 
solemn and well ordered. The body is carried by the 
nearest relations of the deceased, chanting passages from 
the Koran, and by them deposited in a mosque. From 
thence it is again carried to the cemetery, and buried by the 
itnaunt) or priest, who pronounces over it a funeral sermon. 

When a native of Guinea expires, his wives and relations 
commence howling hideously, and proceed to shave their 
heads, and smear a chalky substance over their bodies, as 
outward tokens of their despair. The body is dressed in 
its best attire, with its most valuable coral ornaments, 
scimitar, and other articles of personal adornment, and 
laid in a coffin, with its fetiches Reside it. 

The Congoese kindle fires all round the body, at a suffi- 
cient distance to preserve it from ignition ; and as fast as 
the clothes absorb the moisture, they renew them, till the 
body is completely dried. It is is then buried with great 
pomp. 

A Hottentot is taken to some cave or cleft in a neigh- 
bouring rock, and there left ; but they are careful to close 
up the entrance with stones, that the body may escape 
being devoured by wild beasts. 



12 INTRODUCTORY. 

In Otaheite, some of the hair is plucked from the head 
of the corpse, and the left eye taken out, after which the 
body is buried. 

The American Indians practise several different modes 
of burial, and some tribes have been known to burn the 
bodies of their dead warriors. 

The tribes of Oonalaska and Nootka Sound inter their 
dead on the tops of hills, and place a little tumulus over 
the grave. Every passer-by throws a stone on the heap, 
which soon becomes of a large size. 

The funeral of a Circassian is attended with the most 
solemn sacrifices to their church, which is a corruption of 
Christianity. 

The funeral of a Georgian occasions great expense to 
his family, in consequence of the extreme rapacity of the 
clergy, who then receive enormous fees from the dead 
as well as the living. 

On the death of a relation, the Mingrelians give way to 
violent expressions of grief, which, on the day of inter- 
ment, they contrive to drown in intoxication. 

The Tartar tribes practise both cremation and burial. 
The Mongol Tartars burn the bodies of their princes and 
chief-priests. 

The deceased Laplander is wrapt in woollen or linen 
coverings, and laid in the coffin by some person selected 
for that service, who is protected against the ill-will of 
thejnanes by a consecrated brass ring attached to his left 
arm. 

The frightful custom which formerly prevailed, whenever 
a Hindoo left a widow at his death, of the unfortunate 
woman offering herself alive on the funeral pile of her 
husband, is now almost abandoned. 



INTR OD UCTOR Y. 13 

At Middleburg, in the Netherlands, a singular custom 
was formerly observed. When any inhabitant died, a 
bundle of straw was placed before the house, with the 
ears toward the street, if the deceased was a man, but 
toward the house, if a woman. 

There is, or was a few years since, a peculiar custom 
in use at Hexham, in the county of Northumberland ; 
namely, an invitation to a burial proclaimed through the 
public bellman to the inhabitants, and in the subjoined 
terms : " Blessed are the dead which die in the Lord ; 
Colin James is departed, son of Henry James, who was. 
Their company is desired to-morrow at three o'clock, and 
at four he is to be bu — ri — ed. For him and all faithful 
people give God most hearty thanks." 

At Hatherleigh, in Devonshire, after a funeral, the 
church bells ring a lively peal, as in other places after a 
wedding ; and to this custom the parishioners are per- 
fectly reconciled by the consideration that the deceased 
is removed from a scene of trouble to a state of peace. 

The custom of howling at funerals originated with the 
Irish, who, in the present day, make a great outcry on the 
decease of their friends, hoping thus to awaken the soul, 
which they suppose might otherwise be inactive. It was, 
however, practised by the Greeks, Arabs, and Romans ; 
the latter had their fireficcz, whose duty it was to superin- 
tend the manner and form of the lamentation. 

It is usual in the south of France to erect in the church- 
yard a lofty pillar, bearing a large lamp, which throws its 
light upon the cemetery during the night. The custom 
began at a very early period, between the twelfth and 
thirteenth century. Sometimes the lantertie des morts — 
death lantern—was a highly ornamental chapel, built 



14 INTRODUCTORY. 

in a circular form, like the Church of the Holy Sepulchre 
at Jerusalem, in which the dead lay exposed to view on 
the days which preceded their interment ; sometimes it 
was a hollow column ascended by a winding stair inside, 
or by projections left for the purpose within. It must 
have been a striking sight, when the traveller through the 
dark night saw far away the lonely flame that marked the 
spot where so many of his fellow-men had completed their 
journey. 

The following extract from a paper in the Camden 
Society's possession, shows somewhat of the forms observed 
by our London forefathers on occasion of funerals :■ — 
"January 2. Mr. Cornelius Bee, bookseller, in Little 
Britain, died hora xia, ante merid, his 2 eldest daughters, 
Mis Horwood and Mis Fletcher, widdows, executrixes, 
buried Jan. 4, at Great St. Bartholemew's without a ser- 
mon, without wine or wafers, only cloves and rosemary. 
Dr. Wells of Aldersgate read ye service. His younger 
daughter married to Nath Hook, his servant." — "June 30. 
This Sunday in the afternoone died John Smith, alder- 
man of London and justice of peace in Middlesex, at his 
house in Finsbury, his funerall the 16th July from Gold- 
smith's Hall to Criplegate church, where he was interred 
with a sermon by Dr. Prichard, our vicar. The posie of 
his rings ' Ever Last/ He made a great gaine by musk 
catts which he kept." — "July 21. Samuel Crumbleholme, 
schoolmaster of Paul's school, died, buried ye 26. Dr. 
Wells of Aldersgate, preached his funerall sermon at my 
Lord Mayor's chapell by Guildhall. Rings were given, 
whose posie was ' Redime Te?npus.' > " 

Many relations might be given of funerals having been 
solemnized within the church porch. Audry, who died 



INTRODUCTORY. 15 

of the pestilence in the year 669, and Chad, who did 
not outlive the year 672, with other persons of that era, of 
extraordinary reputed sancity, being anxious to creep 
near the church, were the first placed there. Among the 
many legends relative to St. Swithin, there is one stating 
that his corpse, not being allowed to enter the church, 
was placed in the church porch, where it remained forty 
days, during which time it rained incessantly. This 
account agrees in some measure with the Latin legend 
quoted in Lord Campbell's " Lives of the Chancellors," 
which William of Malmesbury has given us as a proof 
of St. Swithin's great humility : — " For when he was 
about to bid farewell to this life, he gave orders to be 
buried outside the church, exposed to the rain dropping 
from the skies, and the treading of the passers by," 
and so he continued for some time ; but the ecclesiastics 
not liking that a person of his sancity should be so 
exposed, dug him up, when it is possible that, agreeably 
with his desire to be buried outside the church, they 
placed him in the porch. 

The Churchwarden's account of Banwell, Somersetshire, 
contains the following curious items : — " 1521. Reed, of 
Robert Cabzll, for lyying of his wyffe in the porch, 3s. 4d. 
Reed, of Robert Blundon, for lyying of his wyffe in the 
church, 6s. 8d." By which it appears that the fee was as 
much again for burying in the church as in the porch. 

There is a curious custom in Lower Brittany, which we 
may perhaps seek in vain elsewhere. As there is a 
Basvalau for the weddings, a rhymer for the merry 
festivals, there is at the same time a fiaterer to pray 
before the coffin, who is both a poet and improvisatore. 
He knows how to adapt ancient prayers in verse to the 



16 INTRO D UCTOR Y. 

character and position of the departed. In this gloomy- 
poetry there are sometimes bold, strange, and striking 
images. They frequently give the words as from the 
corpse itself, which from the interior of its bier is sup- 
posed to address to the living lamentations of grief, and 
austere recommendations. " It is Jesus," says one of these 
exhortations, "who has sent me to rouse you from your 
lethargy, unite your prayers to the prayers of souls. Pray, 
relations ; pray, friends ; for the children do not. Dear 
friends, pray ; for children are very ungrateful. A white 
sheet, four planks, a straw pillow under the head, and 
five feet of earth, therein behold the wealth of this world. 
Perhaps your father, your mother, perhaps your brother, 
your sister, are scorching in purgatory. There, on bended 
knees, flames above, flames below, they cry out to you — 
Prayers, prayers." The effect of these compositions, 
recited in a slow, solemn, and mournful tone, amid tears, 
sobs, and groans, is extraordinary. 

In the southern parts of Northamptonshire may still be 
witnessed the poetical custom of placing garlands of 
flowers within a coffin, before it is deposited in the grave. 
When the corpse is that of an elderly person, the blossoms 
are mingled with sprigs of box and yew. 

A grave, wherever found, preaches a short and pithy 
lesson to the soul, and it is well for us occasionally to pass 
an hour in the silence of God's acre, as a species of j 
soul exercise or mental physic, to remind us of the great 
aims and objects of a true man's life, and we cannot do 
better than quote the exquisite reflections of Addison 
on this subject : — "When I look upon the tombs of the 
great, every emotion of envy dies within me ; when I read 



INTRO D UCTOR K 1 7 



the epitaphs of the beautiful, eveiy inordinate desire goes 
out ; when I meet with the grief of parents upon a tomb- 
stone, my heart melts with compassion ; when I see the 
tombs of the parents themselves, I consider the vanity of 
grieving for those whom we must quickly follow ; when I 
see kings lying side by side, or the holy men that divided 
the world with their contests and disputes, I reflect with 
sorrow and astonishment on the little competitions, fac- 
tions, and debates of mankind ; when I read the several 
dates of the tombs, of some that died yesterday, and some 
six hundred years ago, I consider that great day when we 
shall all of us be contemporaries, and make our appear- 
ance together. ?; 

But to some, alas, tablets nor tombstones gratify the 
sight, nor call to mind any sweet recollections of the past. 
How sad a reflection is a burial at sea ! there are few more 
impressive ceremonies, and yet we would not that any 
friend of ours should sleep his last sleep among the un- 
known caverns of the mighty ocean. It is a satisfaction, 
although a melancholy one, to know the exact spot where 
the mortal remains of those we have loved in life are 
deposited, — to repair to the old churchyard when the 
dreary winter months have passed away, and plant the 
earliest flowers of spring upon their graves, to meditate 
and weep there, to think of the past, and hope for the 
future, the earnest heartfelt hope of all who well and truly 
believe, that they may be re-united at that day, when the 
sea and the dry land shall alike give up their dead. All 
this is comfort ; but once sunk beneath the surface of the 
ocean, how shall we mark the spot where the body lies ? 

We quote the following lines on a burial at sea, from an 
anonymous author :— 

2 



18 INTRODUCTORY. 



The solemn words are said, ' ' Let the sea receive the dead 
In its vast unfathomed bed, until Time shall be no more." 

The frothing of a wave, and the good, the kind, the brave, 
Is in his ocean grave — all his storms of life are o'er. 

His messmates stare with eyes of dull and long surprise, 
That where their comrade lies, not a trace should now be seen. 

The waves still roll and leap o'er the chamber of his sleep, 
Down, down in the great deep, as though he had never been. 

His messmates walk away, and in hoarse whispers say, 

"God rest him ;" so they pray. Who doubts this prayer is 
heard ? 

When seated at their mess, they found one face the less, 

Each shows his kind distress, though he does not speak a word. 

Some think that when again they cross that restless main, 

They'll look and look in vain for their messmate's place of rest, 

And some will sadly sigh, and wish that when they die, 

In churchyard they may lie, with those they have loved the best. 

Death will not come and go without his fitting woe ; 

Methinks 'tis doubly so when he meets us on the sea. 
The world is then so small, a ship contains its all ; 

The dead man 'neath the pall, how large a part was he ! 

The sorrow for the dead is the only sorrow from which 
we refuse to be divorced ; in pure grief we are all equal. 
Where is the mother who would willingly forget her child, 
though every recollection is a pang ? Where is the child 
that would willingly forget the most tender of parents ? 
who, even in the hour of agony, would forget the friend 
over whom he mourns ? who, even when the tomb is closing 
upon the remains of her he most loved, when he feels his 
heart pierced with agony, would accept of consolation 
that must be bought by forgiveness ? No ; the love which 
survives the tomb is one of the noblest attributes of the 
soul. If it has its woes, it has likewise its delights ; and 



INTRODUCTORY. 19 

when the overwhelming burst of grief is calmed into the 
gentle tear of recollection — when the sudden anguish and 
the convulsive agony over the present ruins of all that we 
most loved, is softened away into pensive meditation on 
all that it was in the days of its loveliness, who would 
root out such a sorrow from the heart, though it may 
sometimes throw a passing cloud over the bright hour of 
gaiety, or spread a deeper sadness over the hour of gloom ? 
Yet who would exchange it, even for the song of pleasure 
or the burst of revelry? At the grave of those we love, we 
call up in long review the whole history of virtue and 
gentleness, and the thousand endearments lavished upon 
us, almost unheeded in the past daily course of intimacy ; 
there it is that we dwell upon the tenderness, the solemn 
awful tenderness of the parting scene, and the last feeble 
fluttering, thrilling — oh, how thrilling — pressure of the 
hand, the last fond look of the glazing eye turning upon 
us even from the threshold of existence, the faint faltering 
accents struggling in death to give one more assurance of 
affection. 

It is in the churchyard, with its leafy elms, its daisied 
graves, where angels seem to throng around us, and to 
whisper mighty secrets of the mysteries of the future 
world. It is there, beside the grave of buried love, we 
should meditate and settle with our conscience for every 
past benefit unrequited, every past endearment unre- 
garded, of that departed being who can never — never — 
never return to be soothed by our contrition. If thou art 
a child, and hast ever added a sorrow to the soul, or a 
furrow to the silvered brow of an affectionate parent — 
if thou art a husband, and hast ever wronged the fond 
bosom that ventured its whole happiness in thy truth — 



INTRODUCTORY. 



if thou art a friend, and hast ever wronged, in thought, or 
word, or deed, the spirit that generously confided in thee — 
if thou art a lover, and hast ever given one unmerited 
pang to that true heart which now lies cold and still be- 
neath thy feet — then, be sure that every unkind look, 
every ungracious word, every ungentle action will come 
thronging back upon memory, and knocking dolefully at 
thy soul, — then, be sure that thou wilt lie down sorrowing 
and repentant on the grave, and utter the unheard groan, 
and pour the unavailing tear ; — then, weave thy chaplet 
of flowers, and strew the beauties of nature about the 
grave, console thy broken spirit, if thou canst, but take 
warning by the bitterness of thy contrite affliction over 
the dead, and henceforth be more faithful and affectionate 
in the discharge of thy duties to the living. 

We see the presence of God in all that we meet vvith ; 
no matter where it may be, we see His work in some par- 
ticular form. Passing through a churchyard — ground hal- 
lowed by the departed — we call to mind the many who 
are left to deplore the loss of some kindred spirit. What 
we see in that sacred spot should make us feel all our 
worldliness, and what we must be. Tombstones are but re- 
cords of earthly feeling and regrets ; it is at His tribunal, 
and to His mercy, that our names are made glorious and 
everlasting. From the creation to the present time, man 
has degenerated in that one imperative duty — act strictly 
in the discharge of your natural dictates, forgive your 
enemies, do not glory at their downfall, but remember that 
in a very short period you and all your acquaintances 
will be on equal terms. If you feel a bitter thought towards 
your fellow-man, walk through a burial place, and therein 
you will read a moral lesson. 



INTRODUCTORY. 



We move among the green hillocks, wondering who lie 
beneath them, and whether they are entirely forgotten by 
the busy world that they left behind them ; and as we 
muse on the transitory nature of this present life, the 
prayer instinctively rises to our lips, " So teach us to 
number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto 
wisdom." " Let me die the death of the righteous, and let 
my last end be like his." 

It cannot, however, be said that the inscriptions 
chiselled on the various tombstones are always aids to 
reflection. In some cases they offend our taste ; in others 
they excite our merriment. What a pity it is in so solemn a 
place, and in connection with so grave a subject, we should 
meet with so many absurd and unseemly observations ! 
Even where the rhymes are decent, the theology is often 
sadly defective ; and we are sorry for the friends of the 
departed, if they had no better ideas associated with the 
memories of their lost ones, than those which are em- 
bodied in their epitaphs. 




I. 



Clegant epitaph 



In Brading Church, Isle of Wight, is the celebrated 
epitaph by Mrs. Steele : — 

Forgive, blest shade ! the tributary tear, 

That mourns thy exit from a world like this ; 

Forgive the wish that would have kept thee here, 
And stayed thy progress to the seats of bliss ! 

No more confined to grovelling scenes of night, 
No more a tenant pent in mortal clay, 

Now should we rather hail thy glorious flight, 
And trace thy journey to the realms of day ! 



The following epitaph is in West Moulsey Churchyard, 
on Spencer Perceval Croker, who died when a boy 
three years old : — 

Oh, pity us ! who lost, when Spencer died, 
Our child, our hope, our pleasure, and our pride ! 
In him we saw, or fancied, all such youth 
Could show of talents, tenderness, and truth. 



ELEGANT EPITAPHS. 



And hoped to other eyes his ripened powers, 
Would keep the promise they had made to ours ; 
But God a different, better growth has given — 
The seed He planted here now blooms in heaven. 

Epitaph on Carrie, aged fifteen : — 

O cruel Death ! thy breath hath chilled 
The fairest flower God e'er gave, 
And laid in yonder silent grave 

The broken voice for ever stilled ! 

Carrie, the sweetest, fairest one — 
A rose beneath a summer sky — 
It was so hard that she should die, 

And hard to say, "Thy will be done ! " 

Ah, no, the smiles come through my tears ; 

The cold gray stone, the speechless mound 
Hath yet a voice — " I now have found 

The Life of Love which hath no years !" 

In Sheffield general cemetery is this epitaph on a young 
lady : — 

Ye who have mourned a sister's early doom, 
Or bent in sorrow o'er a daughter's tomb, 
Oh, weep for those who sadly now deplore 
The fate, the virtues, of a maid no more ! 
What power can soothe a tender parent's grief, 
Or bring the friends', the sisters', woes relief? 
Religion pure, ineffably divine, 
Angel of peace, that heavenly power is thine. 

' To th^ memory of Lucy Lyttleton :— 

Made to engage all hearts, and charm all eyes ; 

Tho' weak, magnanimous ; tho' witty, wise ; 

Polite as all her life in courts had been, 

Yet good as she the world had never seen ; 

The noble fire of an exalted mind 

With gentle female tenderness combined ; 



24 ELEGANT EPITAPHS. 



Her speech was the melodious voice of love ; 
Her song the warblings of the vernal grove; 
Her eloquence was sweeter than her song, 
Soft as her heart, and as her reason strong ; 
Her form each beauty of her mind expressed ; 
Her mind was virtue by the Graces dressed. 

On a whole family cut off by the small-pox : — 

At once deprived of life, lies here 

A family to virtue dear. 

Though far removed from regal state, 

Their virtues made them truly great. 

Lest one should feel the other's fall, 

Death has, in kindness, seized them all. 

[A beautiful inscription, it is said, may be found in an 
Italian churchyard : — 

Here lies Estella, who transported a large fortune to 

heaven in acts of charity, and has gone "thither 

to enjoy it. 

Kensington churchyard : — 

Sacred to the memory of James Elphinstone. 
His mind was ingenious, his heart was affectionate, his 
manners, though polished, were simple, his integrity was 
undeviating ; he was a great scholar, and a real Christian. 
Jortin, Franklin, and Johnson were in the number of his 
friends. He was born at Edinboro', Nov. 25, O.S. 1721. 
He died at Hammersmith, Oct. 8, 1809, and his remains 
are deposited near the south side of this churchyard. In 
grateful remembrance of his virtues and affections, his 
widow has caused this tablet to be engraved. 



ELEGANT EPITAPHS. 25 

Same place : — 

Robert Lord Viscount Molesworth, 
Departed this life Jan. 27, 1813, in his 84th year. 

Awake, thou that sleepest. It is Jesus Christ that shall raise 
you to Himself at the last day. 

Mary Ann, Viscountess of Molesworth, 
Died 2nd August, 18 19, in the 82nd year of her age. 

Welcome, sweet day of rest, 
Welcome to my Saviour's breast. 

Same place : — 

Sacred to the memory of 

Caroline Willis, daughter of H. N. Willis, Esq., 

who died March 12, 1805, aged 17. 

Sleep soft in dust until the Almighty will, 
Then rise, unchanged, and be an angel still. 

Same place : — 

Mr. Thomas Wright, 
Died March 12, 1776, aged 67 years. 

Farewell, vain world ! I've had enough of thee, 

I value not what thou canst say of me ; 

Thy smiles I value not, nor frowns don't fear, 

All's one to me, my head is quiet here ; 

What faults you've seen in me, take care to shun, 

Go home, and see there's something to be done. 

Same place. On Joseph Stephenson, 26 April, 
1765 :— 

Where this rude stone in plaintive numbers weeps, 
A friend, a father, and a husband sleeps ; 



ELEGANT EPITAPHS. 



A heart once glowing with the sacred flame 
Of every duty, these relations claim ; 
Of warm benevolence, and faith sincere. 
Reader ! if worth, if virtue's self, be dear, 
Mourn then their loss, for Stephenson lies here. 



Same place : — 

Sacred to the memory of 

James Gunter, Esq., of Earls Court, Kensington, 

who departed this life in the 74th year of his age. 

When the ear heard him, then it blessed him ; and when the eye 
saw him, then it gave witness to him. 

' ' The blessings of those who were ready to perish came upon 
him, and he caused the widow's heart to leap for joy." 

October, 1819. 

Same place : — 

Here are deposited the remains of Mrs. Ann Floyer, 
the beloved wife of Mr. Richard Floyer, of Thistle Grove, 
in this parish. Died on Thursday the 8th of May, 1823. 

God hath chosen her as a pattern for the other angels. 

In Runcorn Churchyard, near Liverpool, are two in- 
scriptions, as follows : — 

Mrs. Janet Morrison, daughter of William Morrison, 
Esq., of Greenock, in North Britain, died at Runcorn, 
upon the sixth day of February, 1801, in the thirty-first 
year of her age. 



ELEGANT EPITAPHS. 



This Stone 

is erected by 

^neas Morrison, 

the husband of 

Mrs. Janet Morrison, 

to designate the spot 

where her remains are 

deposited, that her 

infant children, when 

they shall have attained 

a more mature age, 

may approach it with 

reverential awe, and 

pledge their vows to heaven 

to respect her memory 

by imitating her 

virtues. 

The second : — 

Underneath this stone lie the remains of 

Robert Cheshyre, of Rock-Savage. 

He departed this life September 9, 1802, 

Aged 27 years. 

'Tis mine to-day to moulder in the tomb, 
To-morrow may thy awful summons come. 
Wake, thou that sleepest, then ; awake, or know 
Thy dream will terminate in endless woe. 
Wake, and contend for Heaven's immortal prize, 
And give to God each moment as it flies. 
Secure then mayst thou recollect the past, 
And with a sacred triumph meet thy last. 



28 ELEGANT EPITAPHS. 



At Dover: — 

Weep not, weep not, tho' I am gone, 
For Christ thy afflicted heart will cheer ; 

Weep not, weep not : thou art not alone ; 
Angels guard thy path, although so drear. 

In the Churchyard of Askton, near Plymouth, is an 
inscription to the memory of a dear wife : — 

In thy long sleep I'll watch thee as of yore, 
Until life fails, and then we'll part no more ; 
O death, thy worst is done, and thy next blow 
Will join the hearts which thou hast severed now. 

In the Chapel belonging to the Foundling Hospital : — 

To the memory of 

Captain Thomas Coram, 

Whose name will never want a monument 

so long as this Hospital shall subsist, 

was born in the year 1668. 

A man eminent in the most eminent virtue, 

the love of mankind; 

little attentive to his private fortune, 

and refusing many opportunities of increasing it, 

his time and thoughts were continually employed in 

endeavours to promote the public happiness, 

both in this kingdom and elsewhere, 

particularly in the Colonies of North America, 

and his endeavours were many times crowned 

with the desired success. 

His unwearied solicitation, for above 17 years together 

(which would have baffled the patience and industry 

of any man less zealous in doing good), 



ELEGANT EPITAPHS. 29 

and his application to persons of distinction, of both sexes, 

obtained at length the Charter of the Incorporation 

(bearing date the 17th of October, 1739), 

for the maintenance and education 

of exposed and deserted young children, 

by which many thousands of lives 

may be preserved to the public, and employed in a 

frugal and honest course of industry. 

He died the 29th March, 1752, in the 84th year of his age, 

poor in worldly estate, rich in good works, 

and was buried, at his own desire, in the Vault 

underneath this Chapel (the first there deposited), at 

the east end thereof; 

many of the governors and other gentlemen 

attending the funeral to do honour to his memory. 

Reader, 

Thy actions will show whether thou art sincere 

in the praises thou mayest bestow on him ; 

And if thou hast virtue enough to commend his virtues, 

forget not to add also the imitations of them. 

In Trevethin Churchyard, Monmouth, is the following 
epitaph, written by Sir Charles H anbury Williams, on a 
faithful servant of his father's : — 

To the memory of 

Mr. Thomas Cooke, 

Agent of the iron-works of Pontypool, 

who died August 1st, 1739, 

Aged 66 years. 

With most religious truth it may be said, 
Beneath this stone an honest man lies dead. 



30 ELEGANT EPITAPHS. 

Vice he abhorred, in virtue's path he trod, 
Just to his master, humble to his God. 
Useful he lived, and void of all offence, 
By nature sensible, well-bred by sense ; 
His master's interest was his constant end, 
(The faithful' st servant, and the truest friend ;) 
For him his heart and hand were always join'd, 
And love with duty strictly was combined. 
Together through this vale of life they passed, 
And in this church together sleep at last ; 
For when the master's fatal hour was come, 
The servant sighed, and followed to the tomb ; 
And when at the last day he shall appear, 
Thus shall his Saviour speak, and scatter fear, 
' ' Well done, thou faithful servant, good and just, 
Receive thy well-deserved reward of trust ; 
Come where no time can happiness destroy, 
Into the fulness of thy Master's joy." 

Gloucester Cathedral. On Catherine Pembruge : 

Stop, traveller ! 

And learn from me 

How vain the hopes, how transient the joys of men. 

Here lies, alas ! here lies my Catherine. 

The best, the most excellent of wives, 

So beautiful, so chaste, so loving, 

That her superior did not exist. 

If the loss of the youthful perfection, 

Both in body and mind, 

Be just subjects for sorrow, 

Oh ! tell me the end of my griefs. 

William Pembruge, Gentleman, 

Consecrated this Marble to the Memory of 

His dear Wife, who died June 15, 1690, aged 24. 



ELEGANT EPITAPHS. 31 

In Woodhurst Churchyard, near St. Ives, Huntingdon- 
shire, on John Hill, who died January, 1792, aged 
20 years : — 

A youth is laid beneath this stone, 
Death nipped the bud, the blossom's gone. 
Be still, each parent's sighing heart, 
Time is but short that we shall part ; 
When we again in glory meet, 
'Twill turn past bitters all to sweet. 



At the same place. On his Betrothed, Sarah Royston, 
who died 1793, aged 23 years : — 

A pale consumption gave the fatal blow ; 
The stroke was certain, though the effect was slow ; 
With lingering pain Heaven saw me sore oppressed, 
Pitied my sighs, and kindly gave me rest. 



In Hoxton Churchyard. To the memory of Richard 
Passingham, August 10th, 1852 : — 

Farewell, dear Husband, to my heart most dear, 
Oft shall I bathe thy memory with a tear ; 
Farewell ! it is thy death I so deplore, 
To mourn thy loss, but feel thou art no more. 



From Southam Churchyard, Warwickshire. On Judy 
Turvill, aged 28 :— 

The Dame that takes her rest berfeath this tomb, 
Had Rachel's face, and Leah's fruitful womb ; 
Abigail's wisdom, Lydia's faithful heart, 
Martha's just care, and Mary's better part. 



32 ELEGANT EPITAPHS. 

St. Pan eras, Middlesex. On a lady : — 

What e'er of mild affections was beloved, 
Revered of virtue, or of sense approved ; 
Whate'er of candour female bosoms know, 
Once warmed the gentle heart that rests below. 
Pure as that heart, may flowers eternal bloom, 
May pensive genius strew them round her tomb, 
And oh ! may those by chance or fancy led 
To the sad mansions of the hallowed dead, 
With fond remembrance from this spot retire, 
And learn to copy what they must admire. 

Same place : — 

Here innocence and beauty lie, whose breath 
Was snatched by early, not untimely death. 
Hence she did go, just as she did begin 
Sorrow to know, before she knew to sin. 
Death, that does sin and sorrow thus prevent, 
Is the next blessing to a life well spent. 

I slip, Oxfordshire. On Hannah and Elizabeth, the 
Wives of Joseph Bridgewater: — 

Graves are lodgings to the blest, 
Not of horror, but of rest ; 
Cabinets that safely keep 
Mortal relics while they sleep. 
When the trump shall all awake, 
Every soul her flight shall take, 
And from that which putrefies 
Shall immortal bodies rise. 
In this faith they lived and died, 
In this hope they here reside. 

Cheshunt, Hants. On Wm. Williams, Sept. 24, 1782, 
aged 21 : — 

In silence here beneath a youth is laid, 

By whom the spots of nature were surveyed ; 



ELEGANT EPITAPHS. 33 

With ravished breast, o'er meads he did pursue 
The started hare, which through the landscape flew ; 
By which pursuit, his heart oppressed with heat, 
Plunged in the stream which Nature thought so sweet ; 
But soon the stream a change to Nature gave, 
And plunged this youth deep in the silent grave. 

Epitaph by William Somerville (1730), upon Hugh 
Lumber, a Warwickshire husbandman : — 

In cottages and lonely cells 
True piety neglected dwells, 
Till called to heaven, her native seat, 
Where the good man alone is great ; 
'Tis then this humble dust shall rise, 
And view his Judge with joyful eyes, 
While haughty tyrants shrink afraid, 
And call the mountains to their aid. 

At Wisbeach. On an infant : — 

Beneath, a sleeping infant lies, 

To earth her body's lent ; 
More glorious she'll hereafter rise, 

Tho' not more innocent. 
When the Archangel's trump shall blow, 

And souls to bodies join, 
Millions will wish their lives below 

Had been as short as thine. 

Epitaph to the memory of a young lady, who died 
aged 18 years : — 

Here innocence and virtue lie, whose breath 
Was snatched by early, not untimely death. 
Hence did she go, just as she did begin 
Sorrow to know, before she knew to sin. 
Death, that doth sin and sorrow thus prevent, 
Is the next blessing to a life well spent. 

3 



34 ELEGANT EPITAPHS. 



Corley Churchyard, Warwickshire : — 

These hillocks green, and mouldering bones, 
These gloomy tombs and lettered stones, 
One admonition here supply — 
Reader ! art thou prepared to die ? 

In Wi?nbledon Churchyard. On a young woman : — 

In life's sweet opening dawn she sought her God, 

And the gay path of youth with caution trod ; 

In bloom of beauty humbly turned aside 

The incense Flattery offered to her pride. 

Her front with blushing modesty she bound, 

And on her lips the law of truth was found ; 

Fond to oblige, too gentle to offend, 

Beloved by all, to all the good a friend : 

The bad she censured by her life alone ; 

Blind to their faults, severe upon her own. 

In others' joys and griefs a part she bore, 

And with the needy shared her little store ; 

At distance viewed the world with pious dread, 

And to God's temple for protection fled ; 

There sought that peace which Heaven alone can give, 

And learned to die ere others learn to live. 

Though closed those eyes, by which all hearts were charmed ; 

Though every feature of each grace disarmed, 

Yet think not that her piety was vain ; 

Her soul survives, her virtues still remain : 

O'er vanquished death the immortal saint prevails, 

And opening heaven the new-born angel hails. 

In Tenby Church. On Jane Griffith, wife of Thomas 
Griffith, mariner : — 

When faithful friends descend into the dust, 
Grief's but a debt, and sorrows are but just ; 
Such cause had he to weep who freely pays 
His last sad tribute of his love and praise, 



ELEGANT EPITAPHS. 35 

Who mourns the best of wives, and best of friends, 
Where with affection diligence was joined ; 
Mourns, but not murmurs ; sighs, but not despairs ; 
Feels as a man, but as a Christian bears. 

In Burrington Church, Somersetshire, may be seen a 
monument to the memory of Albina, daughter of the 
Rev. H. Wylde, and wife of — Jackson, Esq., who 
perished in the wreck of the Elizabeth, off Dunkirk, Dec. 
27, 1 8 10. The following epitaph was written by Hannah 
More : — 

Fair, young, and happy, loving and beloved, 

A daughter cherished, and a wife approved ; 

Such was Albina ! w r here could life display 

A fairer promise of a prosperous day ? 

Ah ! treacherous calm ! the sky was soon o'ercast, 

Loud was the surge, and direful was the blast ; 

Not fond affection's grasping arm could save 

The floating victim from her w r atery grave. 

Thou sad survivor ! rescued from the deep, 

Improve the respite, cease at length to weep : 

Prepare to meet her on that blissful shore 

Where storms shall beat, and friends shall part, no more. 

Heaven calls, Hope leads, and Faith triumphant saves, 

Through the dear might of Him w r ho walked the waves, 

In Norwich, on Mr. Bryant Lewis, who was murdered 
upon the Heath, near Thetford, Sept. 13, 1698 : — 

Fifteen wide wounds this stone veils from thine eyes, 
But, reader, hark ! their voice doth pierce the skies. 
Vengeance, cried Abel's blood against cursed Cain, 
But better things spake Christ when He was slain. 
Both, both, cries Lewis's 'gainst his barbarous foe, 
Blood, Lord, for blood, but save his soul from woe. 

At Battersea Church, on William Curtis, the author 
of several botanical works ; died 7th July, 1799, aged 53 : — 



36 ELEGANT EPITAPHS. 

While living herbs shall spring profusely wild, 
Or garden cherish all that's sweet and gay, 

So long thy works shall please, dear Nature's child, 
So long thy memory suffer no decay. 

Epitaph by the late Lord Palmerston, to his parents, 
in Romsey Abbey Church : — 

To those who knew the tenour of their days, 

'Twere worse than useless to recount their praise ; 

To those by whom their virtues were unknown, 

For cold applause the picture would be shown ; 

And proud affection asks not for their bier 

The carnal tribute of a stranger's tear. 

With aching bosoms, and with bleeding hearts, 

We marked those sighs with which the spirit parts ; 

Yet bowed submissive to the chastening rod, 

Nor dared to question the decrees of God. 

More blest to live they die, in Him who trust ; 

He deals His mercies when He calls the just. 

Epitaph in the Broadway Churchyard, Westminster, on 
three children, who all died very early, the eldest being 
little more than three years of age : — 

Three children, not dead, but sleeping lie, 
With Christ they live above the sky ; 
Wash'd in His blood, and for His dress, 
Christ's glorious robe of righteousness, 
In which they shine more bright by far 
Than sun, or moon, or morning star. 
In Paradise they wing their way, 
Blooming in one eternal day. 

In Bremhill Churchyard (written by the Rev. W. L. 
Bowles) : — 

' ' O mother, I will rise and pray, " 

With feeble voice, she cried ; 
' ' For this, dear mother, is the day 

On which poor father died." 



ELEGANT EPITAPHS. 37 

Faintly she spoke— she knelt, she pray'd, 

Her eyes with weeping dim, 
And ere seven days had pass'd was laid 

In the same grave with him. 

Oh ! when all worlds before their God, 

In trembling hope shall stand, 
She shall awake from the same sod, 

And smile at His right hand. 



On Mrs. M. Paston, of Barmingliam, in Norfolk, who 
died a short time after her marriage, in the 21st year of 
her age; written by John Dryden : — 

So fair, so young, so innocent, so sweet, 
Require at least an age in one to meet ; 
In her they met, but long they could not stay, 
'Twas gold too fine to fix without allay. 
Heaven's image was in her so well exprest, 
Her very sight upbraided all the rest ; 
Too justly ravish' d from an age like this, 
Now she is gone, the world is of a piece. 



Another : — 



Pilgrim ! if youth's seductive bloom, 

Thy soul in pleasure's vest arrays, 
Pause at this sad and silent tomb, 

And learn how swift thy bliss decays. 
But ah ! if woe has stabb'd thy breast, 

And dimm'd with tears thy youthful eye, 
Mourner, the grave's a house of rest, 

And this one teaches how to die ; 
For she who sleeps this stone beneath, 

Tho' many an hour to pain was given, 
Smiled at the hovering dart of death, 

While hope display'd the joys of heaven. 



38 ELEGANT EPITAPHS. 

Another : 

Bold Infidelity, turn pale and die ; 
Under this stone an infant's ashes lie, 

Say, is it lost or saved ? 
If death's by sin, it sinned, because 'tis here ; 
If heaven's by works, it can't in heaven appear : 

Ah ! Reason, how depraved ! 
Revere the Bible's sacred page : the knot's untied ; 
It died thro' Adam's sin ; it lives — for Jesus died. 

An inscription by Gilbert West, Esq. (1743), on the 
tomb raised to the memory of his father and ancestors in 
Bedford : — 

Unmark'd by trophies of the great and vain, 

Here sleep within this tomb a gentle train ; 

No folly wasted their paternal store, 

No guilt nor sordid avarice made it more. 

With honest fame and sober plenty crowned, 

They lived, and spread their cheering influence round. 

May he whose hand this pious tribute pays, 

Receive a like return of filial praise ! 

In the Churchyard of St. Andrew's the Less, Ca7Jibridge, 
on — Stewart, who died 1772, aged 46 years, and can 
be seen on a tombstone at Ecclesfield, near Sheffield : — 

Man's life is like a winter's day : 
Some only breakfast, and away ; 
Others to dinner stay, and are well fed ; 
The oldest man but sups, and goes to bed. 
Long is his life who lingers out the day, 
Who goes the soonest has the least to pay. 

We have seen this epitaph also in Llangollen Church- 
yard, with the two last lines thus : — 

Such is our lot — We linger out the day ; 
Who stays the longest has the most to pay. 



ELEGANT EPITAPHS. 39 

In the Chapel belonging to Guy's Hospital is the follow- 
ing inscription : — 

Underneath are deposited the remains of Thomas Guy, 
Citizen of London, Member of Parliament, and the sole 
founder of this Hospital in his lifetime. It is peculiar to 
this beneficent man to have persevered, during a long 
course of prosperity and industry, in pouring forth to the 
wants of others all that he had earned by labour or with- 
held from self-indulgence. Warm with philanthropy, and 
exalted by charity, his mind expanded to those noble 
affections which grow but too rarely from the most ele- 
vated pursuits. After administering with extensive bounty 
to the claims of consanguinity, he established this Asylum 
for that stage of languor and disease to which the charity 
of others had not reached. He provided a retreat for 
hopeless insanity, and rivalled the endowment of kings. 
He died the 27th of December, 1724, in the 80th year of 
his age. 

At St. Mary Overey, Borough, in the arch between the 
north aisle and the altar, under a canopy with roses, sup- 
ported by Ionic pillars, are figures of a man, two females, 
and children, all kneeling. The inscription informs us 
that the monument is to the pious memory of Richard 
Humble, Alderman of London, and several members of 
his family, which information is succeeded by the follow- 
ing lines : — 

Like the damask Rose you see, 
Or like the Blossom on the tree, 
Or like the dainty Flower of May, 
Or like the morning of the Day, 



40 ELEGANT EPITAPHS. 

Or like the Sun, or like the Shade, 
Or like the Gourd which Jonas had, 
Even so is MAN, whose thread is spun, 
Drawn out and cut, and so is done. 
Ye Rose withers, ye Blossom blasteth, 
Ye Flower fades, ye MORNING hasteth, 
Ye Sun sets, ye Shadow flies, 
Ye Gourd consumes, and Man he dies. 

Tringy Hertfordshire. On Dame Elizabeth Gore :— 

Here lieth the Body of 

Dame Elizabeth, 

Late Wife of Sir William Gore, Knt., 

Descended from worthy ancestors, 

Whose honoured Names are not recited, 

Because she wanted no borrowed Lustre, 

Being adorned with all Graces and Perfections, 

Both of Body and Mind. 

She was Pious and Devout, 

Wise and Virtuous, 

A faithful and obedient Wife, 

A prudent and tender Mother. 

To her Friends, 

Kind and useful, courteous and sincere ; 

To the Poor, 

Compassionate, and full of good Works. 

A singular Modesty, Meekness, and Humility 

Appeared in all her Words and Actions, 

And her Life 

Was a fair Example of amiable and illustrious Virtues 

In every Relation. 

After a short sickness, on the 4th of March, 



ELEGANT EPITAPHS. 41 

She humbly resigned her pious Soul to God, 

1705, ^Et. 52. 

This Monument is erected for a lasting Memorial 

Of his Parents, 

By William Gore, Esq. 

At Coleshill, Warwickshire. On Lady Mary Digby 
(by Dr. Hough, Bishop of Worcester) : — 

Mary, Relict of Kildare Lord Digby, 

Departed this life, Dec. 23, 

Anno Dom. 1692. 

Whom it were unpardonable to lay down in Silence, 

And of whom 'tis difficult to speak with Justice, 

For her Just Character will look like Flattery, 

And the least abatement of this is injury to her Memory. 

In every Condition of Life she was a Pattern to her Sex ; 

Appeared Mistress of those peculiar Qualities 

That were requisite to conduct her thro' it with Honour, 

And never failed to exert them in their proper Seasons 

With the utmost Advantage. 

She was Modest without Affectation, 

Easy without Levity, and Reserved without Pride, 

Knew how to stoop without sinking, 

And to gain People's Affections without lessening their 

Regards. 

She was Careful without Anxiety, 

Frugal without Parsimony ; 

Not at all fond of the superfluous Trappings of Greatness, 

Yet abridged herself in nothing that her Quality required. 

She was a faithful member of the Church of England ; 

Her piety was exemplary, her Charity universal ; 



ELEGANT EPITAPHS. 



She found herself a Widow, in the beginning of her Life, 

When the Temptations of Beauty, Honour, Youth, 

and Pleasure, 

Were in their full strength ; 

Yet she made them all give way to the Interest of her 

Family, 

And betook herself entirely to the Matron's Part. 

The Education of her Children engrossed all her Cares, 

No charge was spared in the Cultivation of their Minds, 

Nor pains in the Improvement of their Fortunes. 

In a word, 

She was truly Wise, truly Honourable, and truly Good. 

More can scarce be said, 

And yet he that says this knew her well, 

And is well assured he has said nothing 

Which either Veracity or Modesty should oblige him to 

suppress. 

The following epitaph was copied from a tombstone in 
the Churchyard of Longside, near Peterhead, and is be- 
lieved to be from the pen of the Rev. John Skinner, better 
known as the author of " Tullochgorum " : — 

And she is gone ! the once so lovely maid 
Gone hence, and now a dear departed shade, 
Call'd from this world in early dawn of life, 
When but beginning to be called a wife. 
Ye virgin tribe, whom chance may lead this way, 
Where brightest beauty moulders into clay, 
Behold this stone, nor be ashamed to mourn 
Awhile o'er Mary Alexander's urn. 
She who lies here was once like one of you, 
Youthful and gay, and fair as you are now. 
One week beheld her a fair blooming bride, 
In marriage pomp laid by a husband's side ; 



ELEGANT EPITAPHS. 43 



The next week saw her in death's livery drest, 

And brought her breathless body here to rest. 

Not all this world's gay hopes, nor present charms, 

Nor parent's tear, nor a fond husband's arms, 

Could stamp the least impression on her mind, 

Or sink to earth a soul for heaven design' d. 

Calmly she left a scene so lately tried ; 

Heaven call'd her home, with pleasure she complied 

Embraced her sorrowing friends, then smiled, and died. 



St. Margaret's, Westjninster (by Pope) : — 

In Memory of 

Mrs. Elizabeth Corbett, 

Who departed this life at Paris, March ist> 1724, 

After a long and painful sickness. 

She was Daughter of Sir Uvedale Corbett, 

Of Longnor, in the County of Salop, Bart., 

By the Right Honourable the Lady Mildred Cecill, 

Who ordered this Monument to be erected. 

Here rests a -Woman, good without Pretence, 
Blest with plain Reason, and with sober Sense : 
No Conquest she, but o'er herself desired ; 
No arts essay'd, but not to be admired. 
Passion and Pride were to her Soul unknown, 
Convinced that Virtue only is our own. 
So unaffected, so composed a mind, 
So firm, yet soft, so strong, yet so refined, 
Heaven as its purest Gold, by Tortures try'd, 
The Saint sustain' d it, but the Woman dy'd. 



East Ha?nftstead, Berkshire. On Mr. Elijah Fenton, 
the poet, 1 73 1 (Pope) : — 



44 ELEGANT EPITAPHS. 

This modest stone, what few vain marbles can, 

May truly say, Here lies an honest man ! 

A Poet bless'd beyond the Poet's Fate, 

Whom Heaven kept sacred from the proud and great, 

Foe to loud Praise, and Friend to learned Ease, 

Content with Science in the Vale of Peace, 

Calmly he look'd on either Life, and here, 

Saw nothing to regret, or there to fear, 

From Nature's temp'rate Feast rose satisfy'd, 

Thank'd Heav'n that he had lived and that he dy'd. 

Epitaph : — 

" Weep not," ye mourners, for the dead, 

But in this hope your spirits soar, 
That ye can say of those ye mourn, 

They are not lost, but gone before. 

Christ to the widow'd mother said, 

"Weep not," and thus He healed her pain ; 

And now to ye who mourn, He says, 
" Weep not," ye all shall meet again. 

And in this hope we live, that death, 
Who plucks from earth its fairest flowers, 

Doth give them back to God again, 
To plant in brighter lands than ours. 

Epitaph on the grave of the "Dairyman's Daughter" 
(vide Leigh Richmond's "Annals of the Poor"), and may 
be seen in the Churchyard of St. SiduuelPs, Exeter, near 
the south-east end of the Church, and Mount Jeroine 
Cemetery, Dublin : — 

This lovely bud, so young and fair, 

Call'd hence by early doom, 
Just came to show how sweet a flower 

In Paradise might bloom. 



ELEGANT EPITAPHS. 45 

In Arreton Church, Isle of Wight, the subjoined may 
be seen on the tomb of W. Serle : — 

Loe, here vnder this tombe incovtch'd, 

Is William Serle by name, 
Who for his deedes of charetie 

Deserveth worthey fame. 

A man within this parish borne, 

And in the howse call'd Stone, 
A glasse for to behowld a work 

Hath left to everey one. 

For that vnto the people poore 

Of Arreton he gave 
An hvndred powndes in redie coyne, 

He willd that they showld have. 

To be employ' d in fittest sort, 

As man could best invent, 
For yearelie relief to the poore, 

That was his good intent. 

Thus did this man, a batcheler, 

Of yeares full fiftey-nyne, 
And doeinge goode to maney a one, 

Soe did he spend his tyme, 

Vntill the day he did decease, 

The first of Febrvarey, 
And in the yeare of One thousand 

Five hvndred neyntie-fyve. 

At Boughton, near Northampton, the following epitaph 
may be seen : — 

Time was I stood where thou dost now, 
And view'd the dead, as thou dost me ; 

Ere long thou' It be as low as I, 
And others stand and look on thee. 

I 



46 ELEGANT EPITAPHS. 



In the north aisle of St. Giles* Church, Cripplegate; — 

A remembrance of Thomas Bvsby, 

Cooper and Citizen of London, who departed this life in 

Ano 1575, and bvried heare the xi. of July. 

This Bvsby, willing to relieve the poore with fire and with breade, 
Did give that hovse in which he dy'd, then called the Queenes heade. 
Foure full loades of ye best charcole he wovld have bovght each 

yeare, 
And fortie dosen of wheaten breade, for poor hovseholders heare. 
To see these things distribvted, this Bvsby put in trvst 
The Vicar and Chvrchwardens, thinking them to be jvst. 
God grante that poor hovseholders heare may thankfvl be for svch, 
So God will move ye heartes of more, to do for them as mvch ; 
And let this good example move such men as God has blest, 
To do the like before they goe with Bvsby to their reste. 
Within this chappell Bvsby's bones in dvst awhile doth stay, 
Till He that made them, raise them up to live with Christ for aye. 

In St. Mary's Churchyard, Rotherhithe, is a monument 
to the memory of Prince Lee Boo, buried here 27th 
December, 1784, aged 20. He was an amiable young man, 
son of Abba Thule Rupack, King of Coo-roo-ras, one of 
the Pelew group of Islands in the Indian Ocean. The 
Honourable East India Company had the following in- 
scribed as a testimony of the humane and kind treatment 
afforded by his father to the crew of their ship Antelope 
wrecked on that shore. Captain Wilson, the commander, 
brought over Lee Boo to be educated, but he unfortunately 
died at the above early age : — 

Stop, reader, stop, 

Let Nature claim a tear. 
A Prince of "mine," 

Lee Boo, lies buried here. 



ELEGAN1 EPITAPHS. 47 

In the Church of Esher, Surrey, is a brass plate fixed 
to a stone, with the effigies of a man and woman, and it 
is recorded that — 

The XXIX. in anno six and seventye 
Above V. hundred three times told, 
Did William Wicker dye. 

He dying gave to God his soule, 

His body here to rest. 
The corpes in yearthe, the soule I trust 

Is placed among the blest. 



The following epitaph marks the grave of a youthful 
but devoted Christian : — 

In Memory of 

Anne C. Maurice, 

Who entered into glory February 16th, 1826, 

trusting solely in the finished work of her God and Saviour, 

Jesus Christ. 

Reader ! on what is your trust placed ? 



On the death of George Cherriman, who died sud- 
denly in a field, August, 1817, aged 69 : — 

Stop, passenger, and, wrapt in thought, 

The realms of death survey. 
Till by the view reflective taught, 

You learn to live to-day. 

How vain is life ! to-morrow's dawn 

Perhaps you ne'er may see ; 
Between — how slight the curtain 's drawn — 

Eternity and thee ! 



4 8 ELEGANT EPITAPHS. 

On a plain marble stone is this brief inscription : — 
She always made home happy. 

At WtrJisworth, Derbyshire : — 

Richard Fairweather Eaton, son of James and 
Eizabeth Eaton, died November 30th, 1850, aged 7 years 
and 10 months. 

Step soft, ye youth, on hallow' d ground ye tread, 
And not disturb the mansions of the dead. 
A youth lies here seclused in peaceful dust, 
Whose steps were virtue, and his actions just. 
By all esteem' d, yea, and by all approved, 
He died lamented, as he lived beloved." 

Epitaph found among the ruins of Melrose Abbey, Rox- 
burghshire ; — 

Earth walketh on the earth, 

Glistening like gold, 
Earth goeth to the earth 

Sooner than it wold. 
Earth buildeth on the earth 

Palaces and towers ; 
Earth saith to the earth, 

"All shall be ours." 

In the chancel of Mullion Church, Cornwall, is a tablet 
to the memory of Thomas Flavel, a former vicar, and 
on a piece of brass are the following lines : — 

Earth, take thine earth ; my sin let Satan havet ; 
The world my goods ; my soul my God who gavet : 
For from these four — Earth, Satan, World, and God — 
My Flesh, my Sin, my Goods, my Soul I had. 



ELEGAXT EPITAPHS. 49 



In Belper Churchyard : — 

Oh, cruel death ! who could no longer spare 
A loving father and a tender mother dear ; 
The loss is great to them that's left behind, 
They're gone in hopes eternal joys to find. 

Another memorial to a departed parent : — 

Our Mother 

Fell Asleep 

Nov. 1 2 th, 1840, 

JE. 41. 

When will morning come ? 

In Derby Old Cemetery ; — 

A better husband never lived, 
A kinder father never died, 
This honest heart no man deceived, 
His manly spirit knew no pride. 
His memory fondly in our hearts shall rest, 
Loved while on earth, in heaven for ever blest. 

St. Peter's, St. Aldan's. On Richard Skypwith : — 

In the yere of Christ, on Thousand Fowr Hundry'd ful trew, wyth 

Fowr and Sixteen, 
I Richard Skypwith, Gentleman in Birth, late fellow of 

Inne, 
In my age Twenti-on, my Sowl party' d from the Body in August 

the 16th day, 
And now I ly here, abyding God's mercy, under this ston 

in c 
Desiring you that this sal see, unto the Meyden pray for me, 

That bare both God and Man, 
Like as ye wold, that oder for ye shold 
:i ye ne may nor can. 

4 



50 ELEGANT EPITAPHS. 

From an ancient manuscript in the British Museum : — 

In the Cathedrall Churche of St. Panle, in London, a 
stone is inscribed thus, without a name : — 
Non nominem aspiciam 
ultra 
Oblivio. 
This man woulde nott willingly have forgotten, when he 
adjoyned his armes to continue his memorye. 

Another, lykewyse suppressing his name, for his epitaph, 
did sett downe this goodly admonition : — 

Looke, man, before thee, how thy death hastethe ; 
Looke, man, behind thee, how thy lyfe wastethe ; 
Looke on thy right side, how death thee desirethe ; 
Looke on thy left side, how synne thee beguylethe ; 
Looke, man, above thee — the joys that ever shall laste ; 
Looke, man, beneathe thee, the paynes without reste. 

In Stoke Church, near Guildford ; — 

This Monument was erected by Harriet Aldersey, in 
grateful remembrance of the most affectionate of hus- 
bands, William Aldersey, Esq., of Stoke Park, a place 
formed by his taste, enlivened by his cheerfulness, made 
happy by his bounty, and better by his example. He 
departed this life 30th of May, 1800, aged 64 years. 

More would you have ? go ask the poor he fed, 
Whose was the hand that raised their drooping head ; 
Ask of the few whose path is strew' d with flowers, 
Who made the happy still have happier hours ; 
Whose voice like his could charm all care away, 
Whose look so tender, or whose smile so gay : 
Go ask of all — and learn from ev'ry tear, 
The Good how honour'd, and the Kind how dear. 



ELEGANT EPITAPHS. 51 

In Pere la Chaise, near Paris : — 

Marie was the only child of her mother, 

" And she was a widow." 

Marie sleeps in this grave, 

And the widow has now no child. 

There was a sweet and nameless grace, 
That wander' d o'er the lovely face ; 
And from the pensive eyes of blue, 
Was magic in the glance which flew. 

Her hair in soft and glowing shade, 
In rich luxuriance curling stray' d ; 
But when she spoke, or when she sung, 
Enchantment on her accents hung. 

Where is she now ? Where all must be, 
Sunk in the grave's obscurity. 
Yet never, never slumber' d there, 
A mind more pure, a form more fair. 

At Kilravock, Ireland. On Miss Rose, Niece to Hugh 
Rose, Esq. : — 

Here lies a Rose, a budding Rose, 

Blasted before its Bloom, 
Whose Innocence did sweets disclose, 

Beyond that Flower's Perfume. 
To those who for her Loss are grieved, 

This Consolation's given, 
She's from a world of woe relieved, 

And blooms a Rose in Heaven. 

Epitaph, by John Gay (1732) : — 

If e'er sharp sorrow from thine eyes did flow, 
If e'er thy bosom felt another's woe, 
If e'er fair beauty's charms thy heart did prove, 
If e'er the offspring of thy virtuous love 



52 ELEGANT EPITAPHS. 

Bloom'd to thy wish, or to thy soul was dear, 

This plaintive marble asks thee for a tear. 

For here, alas ! too early snatch' d away, 

All that was lovely Death has made his prey. 

No more her cheeks with crimson roses vie, 

No more the diamond sparkles in her eye, 

Her breath no more its balmy sweets can boast ; 

Alas ! that breath with all its sweets is lost. 

Pale now those lips, where blushing rubies hung, 

And mute the charming music of her tongue. 

Ye virgins fair, your fading charms survey ; 

She was whate'er your tender hearts can say. 

To her sweet memory, for ever dear, 

Let the green turf receive your trickling tear. 

To this sad place your earliest garlands bring, 

And deck her grave with firstlings of the spring ; 

Let opening roses, drooping lilies tell, 

Like those she bloom'd, and ah ! like those she fell. 

In circling wreathes let the pale ivy grow, 

And distant yews a sable shade bestow. 

Round her, ye Graces, constant vigil keep, 

And guard, fair Innocence ! her sacred sleep, 

Till that bright morn shall make the beauteous clay 

To bloom and sparkle in eternal day. 



In English College, Rome : — 

Martha Swinburne, born Oct. x. M.D.CCLXVIII, 
died Sept vm. M.D.CCLXXVIII. Her years were few, 
but her life was long and full. She spoke English, French, 
and Italian, and had made some progress in the Latin 
tongue ; knew the English and Roman Histories, arith- 
metic, and geography ; sang the most difficult music at 
sight, with one of the finest voices in the world ; was a 
proficient on the harpsichord, wrote well, danced many 



ELEGANT EPITAPHS. 53 

sorts of dances with strength and elegance. Her face 
was beautiful and majestic, her body a perfect model, 
and all her motions graceful. Her docility, and alacrity 
in doing everything to make her parents happy, could 
only be equalled by her sense and aptitude. With so 
many perfections, amidst the praises of all persons, from 
the sovereign down to the beggar in the street, her heart 
was incapable of vanity. Affectation and arrogance were 
unknown to her. Her beauty and accomplishments 
rendered her the admiration of all beholders, the love of 
all that enjoyed her company. Think, then, what the 
pangs of her wretched parents must be at so cruel a 
separation. Their only comfort is in the certitude of her 
being completely happy, beyond the reach of pain, and 
for ever freed from the miseries of this life. She can 
never feel the torments they endure for the loss of a be- 
loved child. Blame them not for indulging an innocent 
pride in transmitting her memory to posterity, as an 
honour to her family and her native country, England. 
Let this plain character, penned by her disconsolate 
father, claim a tear of pity from every eye that peruses it. 



In the Churchyard of the Gray Friars, Edinburgh, 
commemorating the martyrs of the Covenant : — 

Halt, passenger ! take heed what you do see. 
Here lies interred the dust of those who stood 
'Gainst perjury, resisting unto blood, 
Adhering to the Covenant, and laws 
Establishing the same ; which was the cause 
Their lives were sacrificed unto the lust 
Of prelatists abjured, though here their dust 



54 ELEGANT EPITAPHS. 

Lies mix'd with murderers and other crew 

Whom justice justly did to death pursue ; 

But as for them, no cause was to be found 

Worthy of death, but only they were found 

Constant and steadfast, witnessing 

For the prerogatives of Christ their King ; 

Which truths were seal'd by famous Guthrie's head, 

And all along to Mr. Kenwick's blood, 

They did endure the wrath of enemies, 

Reproaches, torments, deaths, and injuries ; 

But yet they're those who from such troubles came, 

And triumph now in glory with the Lamb. 

From May 27th, 1661, when the Marquis of Argyle 
was beheaded, to February 17th, 1688, when Mr. James 
Ken wick suffered, there were some eighteen thousand 
one way or other murdered, of whom were executed at 
Edinburgh about one hundred noblemen, ministers, and 
gentlemen, and others, noble martyrs for Christ. On a 
portion of rising ground, near the village of Minnyshire, 
was erected in 1828 a monument in commemoration of 
James Kenwick, the last of the Scottish martyrs. He 
was only 27 when he was found guilty and executed at 
Edinburgh. 

In the Parish Church of North Berwick a handsome 
altar tomb, supported by monumental pillars, is erected 
to the memory of the Rev. John Blackadder, who died 
on the Bass Rock, near Haddingto?i (John Knox, the cele- 
brated Reformer, was a native of this place), in confine- 
ment, a martyr for conscience' sake. 

In the parish of Glencross, Scotland, is a martyr's tomb, 
thus inscribed : — 



ELEGANT EPITAPHS. 55 

Here and near to this place lie the Rev. John Crtjick- 
SHANKS and Mr. Andrew Mac Cormach, ministers of 
the Gospel, and about fifty other true covenanted Presby- 
terians, who were killed in this place in their own innocent 
self-defence, and in defence of the covenanted work of 
reformation, by Thomas Dalziel, of Binns. 

Rev. xii. it. 
And they overcome by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word 
of their testimony, and they loved not their lives unto the death. 

Erected September, 1738. 



On a Friend, by Robert Burns : — 

An honest man lies here at rest 
As ever God with His image blest ; 
The friend of man, the friend of truth ; 
The friend of age, the guide of youth : 
Few hearts like his, with virtue warm'd, 
Few heads with knowledge so inform' d. 
If there's another world, he lives in bliss; 
If there is none, he made the best of this. 



In the Churchyard of Lloughor, in Glamorganshire, is 
the following epitaph, containing an allusion to the inter- 
esting custom of strewing the grave with flowers : — 

The village maidens to her grave shall bring 
Selected garlands each returning spring ; 
Selected sweets, in emblem of the maid 
Who underneath this hallow' d turf is laid: 
Like her they flourish, beauteous to the eye ; 
Like her, too soon they languish, fade, and die. 



56 ELEGANT EPITAPHS. 

On the daughter of Admiral Parker, who died aged 
15. She was cousin to Lord Byron, who composed her 
epitaph in 1802 : — 

Hushed are the winds, and still the evening gloom, 
Not e'en a zephyr wanders through the grove, 

Whilst I return to view my Margaret's tomb, 
And scatter flowers on the dust I love. 

Within this narrow cell reclines her clay : 
That clay where once such animation beam'd ; 

The King of Terrors seized her as his prey : 
Nor worth nor beauty have her life redeem'd. 

Oh, could that King of Terrors pity feel, 

Or Heaven reverse the dread decrees of Fate ; 

Not here the mourner would his grief reveal, 
Not here the muse her virtues would relate. 

But wherefore weep ? Her matchless spirit soars 
Beyond where splendid shines the orb of day ; 

And weeping angels lead her to those bowers 
Where endless pleasures virtue's deeds repay. 

And shall presumptive mortals Heaven arraign, 
And, madly, godlike Providence accuse? 

Ah, no ! far fly from me attempts so vain : 
I'll ne'er submission to my God refuse. 

Yet is remembrance of those virtues dear, 

Yet fresh the memory of that beauteous face ; 

Still they call forth my warm affection's tear, 
Still in my heart retain their wonted place. 



On Miss Jessy Lewars, written by Robert Burns :- 

Say, sages, what's the charm on earth 

Can turn Death's dart aside? 
It is not purity and worth, 

Else Jessy had not died. 



ELEGANT EPITAPHS. 57 

Westminster Abbey. On Grace Scot : — 

Grace, eldest Daughter of Sir Thomas Mauleverer, 

Of Alter -ton , Mauleverer, in Yorkshire, Baronet, 

Born in the Year 1622, married to Col 1 - THOMAS SCOT, 

A Member of the Hon. House of Commons, in 1644, 

And died the 24th of Feb. 1645, 

He that will give my Grace what is hers, 

Must say that he hath not 

Made only her dear Scot, 
But Virtue, Worth, and Sweetness, widowers. 
Ex-Teris. 

On a Friend, by the same, written in 1803 : — 

Oh friend ! for ever loved, for ever dear ! 

What fruitless tears have bathed thy honoured bier ! 

What sighs re-echoed to thy parting breath, 

Whilst thou wast struggling in the pangs of death ! 

Could tears retard the tyrant in his course ; 

Could sighs avert his dart's relentless force ; 

Could youth and virtue claim a short delay, 

Or beauty charm the spectre from his prey, — 

Thou still hadst lived to charm my aching sight, 

Thy comrade's honour, and thy friend's delight. 

If yet thy gentle spirit hover nigh 

The spot where now thy mouldering ashes lie, 

Here wilt thou read, recorded on my heart, 

A grief too deep to trust the sculptor's art. 

No marble marks thy couch of lowly sleep, 

But living statues there are seen to weep : 

Affliction's semblance bends not o'er thy tomb, 

Affliction's self deplores thy youthful doom. 

What though thy sire lament his failing line, 

A father's sorrows cannot equal mine ! 

Though none like thee his dying hour will cheer, 

Yet other offspring soothe his anguish here : 



$$ ELEGANT EPITAPHS. 

But who with me shall hold thy former place? 
Thine image, what new friendship can efface ? 
Ah, none ! a father's tears will cease to flow ; 
Time will assuage an infant brother's woe ; 
To all, save one, is consolation known, 
While solitary friendship sighs alone. 



On a tombstone in the parish of Closeburn, Scotland, 
on James Harckness, who died 1733, aged 72 years: — 

Below this stone his dust doth lie, 
Who endured twenty-eight years' persecution by tyranny ; 

Did him pursue with hue and cry 

Through many a lonesome place. 
At last by Clavers he was ta'en — sentenced for to die. 

But God, who for his soul took care, 
Did him from prison bring ; 

Because no other cause they had, 

But that he would not give up 
With Christ his glorious King, 

And swear allegiance to that beast, 

The Duke of York, I mean. 

In spite of all their hellish rage, 

A natural death he died, 

In full assurance of his rest 

With Christ eternally. 



In the parish of Dunse, near Berwick, the following 
may be seen ; — 

Beneath this stone three infants lie ; 

Say, are they lost or saved ? 
If death's by sin, they sinned, for they are here ; 
If heaven's by works, in heaven they can't appear. 
Reverse the sacred page, — the knot's untied : 
They die, for Adam sinned ; they live, for Jesus died. 



ELEGANT EPITAPHS. 59 



On Mary Meynell : — 

My beloved is gone down into his garden to gather lilies. 
Solomon's Song, chap. vi. verse 2. 

Here lieth Mary, eldest child of Francis Meynell, 
Esq., and Caroline Strachan, his wife, of Brent-Moor, 
Devon, who died March 27th, 1863, aged 4 years and 5 
months. 

My lovely little Lily, thou wert gathered very soon, 

In the fresh and dewy morning, not in the glare of noon ; 

The Saviour sent His angels to bear thee hence, my own, 

And they'll plant thee in that garden where decay is never known. 



From Wilford Church, near Nottingham, on a child 
aged 5 years : — 

As careful nurses they to bed do lay 
Their babes which would too long go wanton play, 
So, to prevent my youth's enticing crimes, 
Nature, my nurse, laid me to rest betimes. 

In the Churchyard of Weston Underwood, in Bucks, on 
James and Harriett Swannell, who died on the same 
day, aged 7 and 2 years : — 

I take these little lambs, said he, 

And lay them on my breast : 
Protection they shall find in me, 

In me be ever blest. 

Death can the bonds of life unclose, 

But not dissolve my love ; 
Millions of infant souls compose 

The family above. 



60 ELEGANT EPITAPHS. 

Inscriptions on tombs in the Dissenters' Burial-place, 
near Bun hill Fields : — 

In Memory of 

Mr. John Game, 

Who died the 15. 7 mo 171 1. 

This stone is put up by 

his loving Relict, in hope 

of the first Resurrection to Glory. 

Rev. xx. 6. 
Blessed and holy is he that hath part in the first Resurrection : on 
such the second Death hath no Power, but they shall be Priests of 
God and Christ, and shall reign with Him a Thousand Years. 

Dame Elizabeth Foche 

(late Wife of Sir John Foche), 

Obiit XIII. June, MDCXCIII. JEtatis Sues XXXII. 

Here lyeth the Body of 

Mrs. Dorcas Bentley, 

the faithful, tender Wife 

of Jonathan Bentley, Citizen 

and Coach-maker, of London; 

Who lived much desired, 

and dyed much lamented, 

August the 3rd, 1693. 

My Dear, 
Thy zealous Care to serve thy God, 

And constant Love to Husband dear, 
Thy harmless heart to every one, 

Remains still, tho' thy Corps lye here. 

j.B. 



ELEGANT EPITAPHS. 61 

Here lyeth 

the Body of Nicholas Latimer, Glover, 

who departed this Life the 

25th day of April, 1677, 

and in the 70th Year of his Life. 

He was poor Widows' Advocate, 
And many pounds for them he gote, 
Which he them gave without fail : 
His loss therefore they much bewail. 

Here lyeth the Body of 
Mr. Richard Fairclough, the worthy Son of the late 
Reverend Divine, Mr. Samuel Fairclough, of Suffolk; 
Was sometime Fellow of Emmanuel College, in Cambridge, 
afterwards Rector of Mells, in Somersetshire. 
A Person, like his Father, eminent 
For his natural Parts, acquired Learning and infused Grace : 

Indued with a 
most piercing Judgment, rich Fancy, and clear Expression ; 

And therefore 

A good Expositor, a rare Orator, an excellent Preacher. 

His Spirit and Temper was 

Most Kind and Obliging, 

Most Publick and Generous, 

A great Contemner of Riches, 

And Despiser of Vain-Glory; 

Chearful, yet Watchful ; Zealous, yet Prudent : 

A pleasant Companion, and a most faithful Friend; 

A pious Guide and Instructor, 

By Doctrine and Example. 

Obiit July 4, 1682. Anno JEtat. 61. 



62 ELEGANT EPITAPHS. 

To the most deserving Memory of him and his Family, 

This Monument was erected, 

As a Testimony of Gratitude for many Obligations, 

By Thomas Percivall, of the Middle Temple, Gent. 

Anno Dom. 1682. 

Here Lyeth the Body of Mrs. Jane Percival, 

Who Dyed March the 10th. In the Year 98. 

Aged 52' Years. 

Here lyeth the Body of Elizabeth Twisleton, 

the Eldest Daughter of 

the Right Honourable the Lord Viscount James Fynes, 

Say and Seale, 

Wife to John Twistleton, Esq., at Dartford \n 

Kent. She dy'd on the 28th Day of 

March, Anno Dom. 1673. 

Here Lyeth the Body of 

JOHN Pennyman, who was required [by Abraham's God] 

to offer up (as Abraham did) 

An unusual Sacrifice at the Royal Exchange, 

in London, upon the 28th 

Day oijuly, 1670. (An Account 

of which he then caused to be 

Printed, and hath ordered it to 

be Reprinted in the Book of his Life.) 

And for a perpetual Memorial 

of which he order'd this Inscription to be set in 

this Place. He departed this Life 

the 2nd day of July, 1 706, 

in the 78th Year of his Age. 



ELEGANT EPITAPHS. 63 

Here resteth in Hope the Body of Hannah, Wife 

to Nehemiah Bourne, Senior, sometime a Commander 

at Sea and Commissioner for the Navy. By whom 

he had 4 Sons and one Daughter. 

Who after she had lived with him as a most 

Affectionate Wife, above 52 Years, during which 

Time she was a most suitable Companion to him in 

various and extraordinary Paths of Divine 

Providence by Sea and Land, at Home, and in 

remote Parts, and an eminent Example and 

Pattern to all that knew her, as well in the several 

Excellences of a natural Temper, as those of the 

Spiritual and Divine Life : being ripened for a 

Better, she departed this World at Ebisham in 

Surrey, upon the 10th oijunej from thence was 

brought to this Place, and buried the 21st, in the 

Year of our Lord 1684, and of her Age 68. 

Lucia Smith dyed Octob. the 6th, 1862, within a Day 
of 12 years ; who lived much beloved, and dyed greatly 
lamented by all her Acquaintance ; as not having known 
her Equal for Natural Endowments at her Age. 

Epitaph. 

Here lyes embalm' d in careful Parents' Tears, 
A Virgin Branch, cropt in its tender Years : 
Reader, as in a Glass, thou perfectly mayst see, 
How all things here below vain and uncertain be. 
Dear Virgin Child, Farewell ! thy Mother's Tears 
Cannot advance thy Memory (who wears 
A Crown above the Stars) ; yet I must mourn, 
And show the World mine Offerings at thy Urn. 
'Tis not, Dear Child ! a Stone can deck your Herse, 
Nor can your Worth lodge in a narrow Verse. 



64 ELEGANT EPITAPHS. 

No, no, blest Virgin ! this engraven Breath 
Is not to speak your Life, but weep your Death. 
This Herse is only lay'd by th' careful Trust . 
Of a sad Mother, in Honour of your Dust. 

Epitaph. 

Reader, pay thy Tribute here, 
A Tear, a Rose, and then a Tear. 
Grief may make thee Marble too, 
Yet weep on, as Marbles do ; 
Gently let the Dust be spread 
O'er a gentle Virgin's Head: 
Press' d by no rude Passer by, 
Nothing but a Mother's Eye. 
Sacred Tomb, with whom we trust 
Precious Piles of lovely Dust ; 
Keep them safely, sacred Tomb, 
Till a Mother ask for Room. 

Here lyeth the Body of 

Francis Smith, Bookseller, 

Who in his Youth was settled in a separate Congregation, 
where he sustained, between the years of 1659 and 1688, 
great Persecution by Imprisonments, Exile, and large 
Fines laid on Ministers and Meeting Houses, and for 
Frinting and promoting Petitions for calling of a Parlia- 
ment with several Things against Popery, and after near 
40 Imprisonments he was fined 500/. for printing and 
selling the Speech of a Noble Peer, and Three Times 
suffered Corporeal Punishment. For the said Fine he 
was 5 years Prisoner in the King's Bench : his hard 
Duress there utterly impaired his Health. He dyed 
Housekeeper in the Custom-House, December the 22nd, 
1691. 



ELEGANT EPITAPHS. 65 

The Body of Samuel Okey, 
the Son of Samuel Okey, is here intomed : 
He was born 
Dec. the nth, 1706, and dyed July the 4th, 171 1. 

Here lyes, for Adam's first Offence, 
Beauty, Wit, and Innocence: 
E'er such another turns to Earth, 
Time shall throw a Dart at Death. 

Near this Place lyeth interred 

the Body of 

Lt.-Coll. Willam Blenner Haysell, 

who was a Lover of Arms, 

and of Christian and English Liberties. 

O biit 6° Jan. 1699. JEtate j6. 
In Hope of the Resurrection of the Just. 

Here lyeth interred the Body of 

Elizabeth, Wife of Edmond Portmans, of 

Lond., Gent, 

Who dyed in the 70th Year of her Age, Xber. 22, 1693, 

and in the 45th Year of her Marriage ; by whom he had 

2 Sons and 5 Daughters : In Memory of whom, this 

Monument was by him erected, and in whom was that 

Question of SOLOMON'S answered. 

Prov. 31 & 10. 

As also the Body of Elizabeth, Eldest Daughter of 

the said Edm. and Elizabeth, 

Who dyed in the 19th Year of her Age, November 12, 1669. 

S 



66 ELEGANT EPITAPHS. 

Here lyeth the Body of 

Mr. Abel Collyer, Minister of the Gospel, 

and Pastor of a Congregation at Hals fed, in Essex, 

who departed this Life the 29th Day of May, 1695, 

in the 66th year of his Age. 

He was for Self-Denial eminent ; 

To seek his Master's Glory fully bent : 

In Gospel Truths of deep Insight ; 

Win Souls to Christ was his Delight : 

Poor in Spirit, Rieh in Faith, 

Christ was his Wish, and Him he hath. 

Mordecai Abbott, Esq., 

Receiver-General Of His Majesty's Customs. 

Obiit 29 Feb., 1699. dEtat. 43, 

Here Abbott, Virtue's great Example, lies, 

The Charitable, Pious, Just, and Wise. 

But how shall Fame, in this small Table, paint 

The Husband, Father, Master, Friend, and Saint ? 

A Soul on Earth so ripe for Glory found, 

So like to theirs who are with Glory crown' d, 

That 'tis less strange such Worth so soon should go 

To Heaven, than that it stay'd so long below. 

Johannes Antrum. 
Obiit 15 Jan., 1704. 

Behold thyself by me ; 

Such one was I as thou ; 
And thou in Time shalt be 

Even Dust, as I am now. 

JEtatis suce 54. 



ELEGANT EPITAPHS. 67 

Here lyes interred the Body of 
Mr. Thomas Holmes, 
Citizen and Haberdasher of London, and Son of Mr. 
Thomas Holmes, of Wigson, in the County of Leicester, 
who yielded to Nature the 4th Day of December, 1694, in 
the 38th Year of his Age. 

Dear Holmes hath found 
A Home amongst the Blest, 
His wearied body for to rest : 
For nowhere can his Flesh 

True Slumber have ; 
But in this Trust Home on Homely Grave, 
His Soul in Heavenly Tunes doth sing, 

Hell, where's thy Triumph? 

Death, where is thy sting? 

Here lyeth interred the Body of 

Mr. John Gammon, 

late Minister of the Gospel. 

He departed this Life the 8th Day of August, 1699, 

In the 47th year of his Age. 

At the foot of the stone : — 

This is the Foot-stone of 

Mr. John Gammon, 

Minister of the Gospel. 

Though dead I lye, 

I speak to you that live : 
Your Heart, your All, 

To Christ be sure to give. 



68 ELEGANT EPITAPHS. 

Here they laid Mary Thomas, 

when Death snatched her from her Husband, 

Ben. Thomas, 

Her Name, both Maid and Wife, 
And his the same throughout his Life. 

Deceased the 22nd of Nov., 171 1. 
Aged 35. 

Here lyeth the Body 

Of Mrs. Hannah Sylvester, 

Who left this Life, April the XII., 

A.D.MDCCL, aged LVII. Years. 

Who lived in faithful and endearing Wedlock 

XXX Years with Mr. Matt. Sylvester, too unworthy 

of so great and meet an Help and Blessing. 

Flens veni in terras : sperans discedo, fuitque 

Vita mihi Christus ; qui mihi vita manet : 
Pallida mors rapuit animam, subduxit & artus ; 
Pars potior coelo est reddita ; corpus humo. 

Here lyes the Body of 

Ann Johnson, 

Who liv'd Religiously, and dyed Piously, 

The 4th of January, 1694, 

In the 14th Year of her Age. 

The Body's here, the Soul is fled 

To Regions which are pure and bright, 

And tho' the meaner Part lies dead, 
The noblest 's gone to Heavenly Light. 



ELEGANT EPITAPHS. 69 

She did request that she might be 

iTo her blest Saviour's Bosom ta'en, 
And now she dwells where she doth see, 
What does exceed Reports of Fame. 

Here lies interred the Body of 

Mr. Edward Bagshaw, 

Minister of the Gospel, who received from God 

Faith to embrace it, 

Courage to defend it, 

and Patience to suffer for it, 

Vhen by the most despised, and by many persecuted ; 

Esteeming the Advantages of Birth, and Education, and 

Learning (all eminent in him), as Things of Worth, 

to be accounted Loss for the Knowledge 

of Christ. 

From the Reproaches of professed Adversaries, 

He 

took Sanctuary, 

by the Will of God, 

in 

Eternal Rest, 

the 28th of December, 

1671. 

Here also lyes the Body of 

Mrs. Margaret, late Wife of Mr. Edw. Bagshaw, 

who departed this Life the 20th of February, 

1692. 

Here the Wicked cease from Troubling, 
And here the Weary be at Rest ; 
Here the Prisoners rest together ; 
They hear not the voice of the Oppressor. 



70 ELEGANT EPITAPHS. 

Here lyeth interred the Body of that 

Faithful Minister of Christ, 

Benjamin Holme, 

who went to his Rest, October the Fifth, 1691, 

in the Twenty-fourth year of his Age. 

To the Memory of 

Lieut.-Coll. William Style, 

Late Citizen and Leatherseller of London. 

A Man from his Youth devout toward God, and Pious to 

his Parents; 

Singularly just, industrious, and Diligent ; 

Second to none in Courage ; Kind to his Friends, 

and Charitable to all : 

Who on his Death-bed enjoyed plentifully the Conscience 

and Joy of a Good Life. 

Dyed 2 March, 

1670. 

Here lyeth interred the Body of 

Edward Tucker, 

Late of Weymouth, in Dorsetshire, who (by his own 

Prediction) departed this Life, 

March the 4th, 1700. 

Here lyeth the Body of Mrs. Anne Knolleys, 

Daughter of John — eney, Esq., and Wife 

of Hanseld Knollys (Minister of the Gospel), 

by whom he had Issue 7 Sons and 3 Daughters ; 

who dyed April 30th, 1671, and in the 63rd 

year of her Age. 



ELEGANT EPITAPHS. 71 

My only Wife, that in her Life 

Liv'd Forty Years with me, 
Lyes now in Rest, for ever blest 

With Immortality. 
My Dear is gone, left me alone, 

For Christ to do, and dye ; 
Who did for me, and dy'd to be 

My Saviour God most High." 

On the plank of an altar-monument of freestone, at the 

west : — 

Vavasor Powell, a successful Teacher of the past, 
A sincere Witness of the present, and an useful Example 

to the future Age, lies interred, who in the Defection 

of so many, obtained Mercy to be found Faithful ; for 
which being called to several Prisons, he was there tried, 

and would not accept deliverance, expecting a better 
Resurrection : in hope of which he finished this Life and 
Testimony together, in the nth year of his Imprisonment, 

and in the 53rd year of his Age, October 27, An. 167 1. 

In vain Oppressors do themselves perplex 
To find out Arts how they the Saints may vex : 
Death spoils their Plots, and sets the Oppressed free ; 
Thus Vavasor obtains true Liberty. 
Christ him released, and now he's joyned among 
The martyred Souls, with whom he cries, "How long?" 

Rev. vi. 10. 



Here lyeth the Body of John Dent, 

Son of John and Ann Dent, who 

died April the 5th, 17 10, aged One year and a Half 

and Six Months. 



72 ELEGANT EPITAPHS. 

After a short but sharp Affliction here, 
I take my Leave of you, my Parents dear. 
Low here I lye, in this soft Bed of Dust, 
Waiting the Resurrection of the Just. 
I, Phcenix-like, have my first Rising known, 
And on the Wings of Love am upward flown : 
My Heavenly Parts ascended up on high, 
Whilst on Earth my Earthly Part doth . . . 
'Till it shall rise again in Glory blest, 
With all the Saints, in their eternal Rest. 
My Parents dear, my Time was short, you see : 
So live and die, that you may rest with me. 



Here lyeth interred the Body of the 

Reverend and Learned Divine, 

Mr. Anthony Fidoe, who, till the Year 1660, was a 

Fellow of Trinity College, in Cambridge; 

but soon after (his conscience not permitting him to comply 

with the Act commonly known by the Name 

of The Bartholomew Act), he 

resigned, not only his Fellowship, but a considerable 

Living he was then in Possession of, in the 

County of Cambridge ; and since that time has continued 

a Minister of the Gospel in several parts 

of England j but for the last Thirty Years of his 

Life, in the City of London. 

He dyed a Bachelor, on the 17th day of January, 17 15. 

Aged J $ years. 

Here lyeth GRACE, the only Daughter 
of Thomas Cloudley, of Leeds, in the County of York, 
• who was first married to Peter Jackson, of Leeds, 
To whom she bare 3 Sons and 2 Daughters. 



ELEGANT EPITAPHS. 73 

Afterwards married to John Dickonson, of London, to 

whom she bare 1 Daughter, of which she dyed, 

15th February, 1688, in the 31st Year of her Age. 

Grace was her Name, and Grace she had ; 
But now Grace is with Glory clad. 

Me?netito Mori. 

Here lyes interred the Body of 

Mary Lilburn, 

the Wife of Nathaniel Lilburn, of Cripplegate Parish, 

who departed this Life Nov. 12th, 17 13, 

Aged 38. 

So here she lyes interr'd, who humbly gave 
Her Soul to God, her Body to the Grave, 
Throughout her Passage to a better Life, 
She prov'd a pious, virtuous, loving Wife. 
She dy'd to live, and humbly liv'd to dye ; 
So God removed her to compleat her Joy : 
And her surviving Spouse in Christ doth trust 
To mix his Ashes with her sacred Dust." 

Here Lyeth the Body of Mr. Nath. Vincent, 

Minister of the Gospel, 

Who departed this Life June 22nd, 1697, 

in the 59th year of his Age, 

In Hopes of a Blessed and Glorious Resurrrection unto 

Eternal Life. 

Though dead I lie, I speak to you that live ; 

Your Heart, your All, be sure to God you give : 

At Death the Day of Grace will fully end ; 

In Grief for Bad, in Good Works your Time spend. 

Earth is Vanity ; Christ's Worth, and of His Cross, 

The Virtue Know, and Greatness of Soul's Loss. 
Immortal Souls to benefit and save, 
I have thus made a Pulpit of my Grave. 



74 ELEGANT EPITAPHS. 

A writer in the Church and State Gazette, in 1850, read 
the following inscription in a village churchyard, " beneath 
the shadow of a building wherein one of the holiest and 
bravest of our Martyrs spoke in eloquent simplicity": — 

Stop, traveller : cast an eye, where this ground I under lie, 
An accident once happened to me, which I hope may never happen 
to thee. 

In Hove Churchyard, near Brighton: — 

Yes, thou art fled, and saints a welcome sing. 
Thine angel spirit soar'd on angel wing : 
Our blind affection might have ask'd thy stay; 
The voice of God hath call'd His child away. 
Like Samuel, early in the temple found, 
Sweet Rose of Sharon, plant of heavenly ground : 
Oh! more than Samuel bless d, to thee was given, 
The God he served on earth, to serve in heaven. 

At Wickham- Market, Suffolk : — 
Sarah Cullam, died May 3rd, 1 805, aged 6 years. 

And now the lamp of life will burn no more, 
Her pitying neighbour does her loss deplore. 
Her parents' pride, now mourning o'er her bier, 
In fond regret they shed the heartfelt tear. 
They feel the loss, yet own the chast'ning rod, 
And yield in grief their daughter to her God. 

At St. Lawrence's, York : — 

To the memory of 4 Sons and 2 Daughters of John 
and Ann Rigg, who were drowned in the River Ouse 
together, .August 19th, 1830. 

Mark the brief story of a summer's day ! 

At noon, Youth, Health, and Beauty launch'd away ; 

Ere eve, Death wreck'd the bark, and quench'd their light, 

Their Parents' home was desolate at night ; 



ELEGANT EPITAPHS. 75 

Each pass'd alone that gulf no eye can see ; 

They met next moment in Eternity. 

Friend! kinsman! stranger! dost thou ask me, Where? 

Seek God's right hand, and hope to find them there. 

On an infant : — 

Thou lovely babe, Christ is thy rest : 
Thy Saviour call'd thee to be blest. 
Thou favour' d child, thy toils are o'er ; 
Thy soul's with Christ, to part no more. 

Sacred to the memory of the Rev. Ralph Tyrer, 
Vicar of Kendal, who died a.d. 1627 : — 

London bred me — Westminster fed me, 
Cambridge sped me — My sister wed me, 
Study taught me — Living sought me, 
Learning brought me — Kendal caught me, 
Labour press'd me — Sickness distress'd me, 
Death oppress'd me — The Grave possess' d me, 
God first gave me — Christ did save me, 
Earth did crave me — And heaven would have me. 

At Cork : — 

Richard Boardmax, 

Departed this life October 4th, 1782, 

JEtatis 44. 

Beneath this stone the dust of Boardman lies, 
His precious soul has soar'd above the skies ; 
With eloquence divine, he preach' d the word 
To multitudes, and turn'd them to the Lord. 
His bright example strengthen' d what he taught, 
And devils trembled when for Christ he fought. 
With truly Christian zeal he nations fired, 
And all who knew him mourn' d when he expired. 



76 ELEGANT EPITAPHS. 

At St. Mary's, Lambeth : — 

Near this place are the remains of 

William Bacon, 

of the Salt Office, London, Gent., 

Who was killed by thunder and lightning, 

at his window, July 12, 1787, 

Aged 34 years. 

By touch ethereal in a moment slain, 
He felt the power of death, but not the pain ; 
Swift as the lightning glanced, his spirit flew, 
And bade the rough tempestuous world adieu. 
Short was his passage to that peaceful shore, 
Where storms annoy and dangers threat no more. 

At Sutton Coldfield, Warwickshire : — 

As a warning to female virtue, 

And a humble monument to female chastity, 

This stone marks the grave 

Of Mary Ashford, 

Who, in the 20th year of her age, having 

Incautiously repaired to a scene of amusement 

Without proper protection, 

Was shamefully ill-used and murdered, 

On the 27th of May, 18 17. 

Lovely and chaste as is the primrose pale, 
Rifled of sweetness by the passing gale : 
Mary, the wretch who thee remorseless slew, 
Avenging death, which sleeps not, will pursue ; 
What though the deeds of blood be veil'd in night, 
Shall not the Judge of all the earth do right ? 
Fair, blighted flower ! the muse that mourns thy doom, 
Rears o'er thy murder'd form this warning tomb. 






ELEGANT EPITAPHS. 77 

At Great Billing, Northamptonshire : — 

Justinian Brassgirdle underneath this stone 

Hath left his pawne of resurrection ; 

Who four and fifty winters did afforde 

This flocke the pasture of God's heavenly worde, 

And all his lifetime did employ his care 

So to growe rich to make the poore his heyre. 

Being charitye's faithful steward, he imparts 

Twelve hundred pounds to nourish Oxford artes ; 

Then if our God to them ope heaven doore, 

That give but drops of water to the poore, 

Sure his wise soul laid up a treasure there, 

That nere shall rust — who now bought heaven so deare ; 

When faith and good workes have so long contended, 

That faith is almost dead, and good workes ended. 

Obijt Octob. 25, 1625. 

At Newingtofiy in Surrey : — 
MATILDA Bowex, died 12th July, 1799, aged 5 years and 
8 months. 

Here rests in peace the body of a child, 
Who was in temper lovely, meek, and mild, 
In whom her parents greatly did delight, 
And she was precious in the Saviour's sight. 
As Death approach' d, she anxious was to fly 
To Jesus' breast, to dwell with Him on high : 
With outstretch' d arms, her father she address* d, 
11 What is't o'clock?" she said with lab'ring breast. 
" Take me, take me, that I may be at rest." 
These were the last sweet words that she express'd. 
The Saviour heard, and caught her to the skies, 
And now she chaunts His praises in eternal joys. 

In Swallowfield Churchyard : — 

Here lies a fair blossom mould'ring to dust, 
Ascending to heaven, to dwell with the just: 



;S ELEGANT EPITAPHS. 

At Bury St. Edmund's : — 

I. H.S. 
Here lies interred the Body of 

Mary Haselton, 

A young Maiden of this Town, 

Born of Roman Catholic Parents, 

And virtuously brought up, 

Who, being in the act of Prayer, 

Repeating her Vespers, 

Was instantaneously killed by a flash 

of lightning, August 16, 1785, 

Aged 9 years. 

Not Siloam's ruinous tower the victims slew 
Because above the many sinn'd the few. 
Nor here the fated lightning wreak'd its rage, 
By Vengeance sent, for crimes matured by age ; 
For whilst the Thunder's awful voice was heard, 
The little suppliant, with its hands uprear'd, 
Address'd her God in prayers the Priest had taught, 
His mercy craved, and His protection sought. 
Learn, Reader ! hence that Wisdom to adore 
Thou canst not scan, and fear his boundless Power : 
Safe shalt thou be, if thou perform' st His will, 
Blest if He spares, and more blest should He kill. 



At Ely Cathedral :— 

Maria Scott, died Aprils 1836, aged 7. 

The cup of life just with her lips she prest, 
Found the taste bitter, and declined the rest. 
Averse : then turning from the face of day, 
She softly sigh'd her little soul away. 



ELEGANT EPITAPHS. 79 

At Brandeston, Suffolk : — 
Sophia Olive Pickering, died March 25, 1816. 

Loved infant, on this hill you rest 
Till rising higher to be blest. 
Oh, angel sweet, thy spirit 's flown, 
Invited to thy Maker's throne. 
Escaped the bitter ills below, 
Secure from pain and mortal woe, 
Thy gentle soul celestial lives ; 
In seraph strain now grateful gives 
Eternal praise to God on high, 
Who rules alike the earth and sky ; 
Removed from keen affliction's rod, 
Thy biding place the breast of God. 

This tablet her father erects to her dear memory, 



At St. Edmund y s, Salisbury \ in memory of three children 
of Joseph and Arabella Maton, who died in their 
infancy,, 1770: — 

1 
Innocence Embellishes Divinely Complete, 
To Prescience Coegent Now Sublimely Great 
To the Benign, Perfecting, Vivifying State. 

2 

So Heavenly Guardian Occupy the Skies, 
The Pre-existent God, Omnipotent, All wise ; 
He can Surpassingly immortalize thy Theme, 
And Permanent thy songul Celestial Supreme. 

3 

When Gracious Refulgence bids the Grave Resign, 
The Creator's Nursing Protection be Thine : 
Thus each perspiring ^Ether will Joyfully Rise 
Transcendently Good, Supereminently Wise. 



8o ELEGANT EPITAPHS. 



At Wukham- Market : ; — 

Charles Eldred, an excise officer, killed Oct. 18, 
1848, aged 21. 

An accident his youthful life did end, 
No time allow* d His soul to recommend 
Unto that God who gave him his first breath. 
So suddenly his eyes were closed in death. 



In the Churchyard of St. George? s-in-the- East, Lon- 
don: — 

Sacred 

to the Memory of 

Mr. Timothy Marr, 

aged 24 years. 

Also, Mrs. Celia Marr, 

aged 24 years. 

And their son, Timothy Marr, 

aged 3 months. 

All of whom were most inhumanly murdere '. 

in their dwelling house, 

No. 29, Ratcliff Highway ', Dec. 8, 181 1. 

Stop, mortal, stop, as you pass by, 
And view this grave wherein do lie 
A father, mother, and a son, 
Whose earthly course was shortly run. 
For, lo ! all in one fatal hour, 
O'ercome were they with ruthless power, 
And murder' d in a cruel state, 
Yea, far too horrid to relate, 
They spared not one to tell the tale, 
One for the other could not wail ; 
The other's fate they never sigh'd, 
Loving they lived, together died. 






ELEGANT EPITAPHS. 



Reflect, O reader, on thy fate, 
And turn from sin before too late ; 
Life is uncertain in this world, 
Oft in a moment we are hurl'd 
To endless bliss or endless pain, 
So let not sin within you reign. 

In Westbury Churchyard : — 

The child was drown' d that's buried here, 
Dear reader ! stop, and drop a tear ; 
Not for the babe, but for its mother, 
Because she is left without another. 
To the will of God I must resign, 
In heaven I hope my babe to join. 

At Laxfield, Suffolk. On a boy aged 10 years : — 

Sweet innocency's form lies here 
Lamented by its parents dear. 
They hope again in endless joy 
To meet again their lovely boy. 

At Norwich On Jonathan Lewes, who died through 
a fall from his horse, April 7th, 1 804, aged 32 years : — 

Judge me not, reader ; Christ is judge of all : 
I fell — stand' st thou? take warning by my fall ; 
Be ready, lest thee sudden death surprise, 
And hence two witnesses against thee rise. ' 

At Hackney. On Mira Hodgkins, who died Oct. 3, 
1803, aged 9 years : — 

Dearer than daughter, parallel' d by few, 

In sweetness, patience, suffering, adieu ! 

Adieu! my Mira, till that day more blest, 
When, if deserving, I with thee shall rest. 

6 



ELEGANT EPITAPHS. 



Come, then thy sire will cry in joyful strain, — 
Oh ! come to my paternal arms again. 

At a village in Shropshire. On an infant : — 

Here sweetly sleep awhile, blest babe ; thy sun 
In haste hath set, thy race of suffering done : 
A stranger to thy great Creator's name — 
Unknown to thee thy glorious Saviour's fame. 
Nor fame, nor hope, nor love, nor other grace 
Within thy infant bosom held their place. 
No power hadst thou to shed one contrite tear, 
One duteous act perform, or lisp one prayer. 
But not in vain thy life ! Thou hast not sown, 
Yet the rich harvest reapest as thy own : 
Thou hast not fought, but thou hast won the prize, 
Hast never borne the cross, yet gain'd the skies. 
E'en guilt was thine, as Adam's guilty race ; 
Yet such the Father's love — the Saviour's grace, 
That Father's love hath turn'd thy night to day, 
That Saviour's blood hath wash'd thy guilt away; 
Clothed in His robe of righteousness divine, 
Peace, pardon, life, and endless joys are thine. 

At Stanford, Notts: — 

Here lies the body of Francis, the son of Mr. 
Francis Thwaits, Rector of Stanford, and of Ann his 
Wife, who dyed the 4th September, in the 2nd year of his 
age, 1700. 

As careful nurses 

To their bed doe lay, 

Their children which too 

Long would wanton play ; 

So to prevent all my 

Evening crimes, 

Nature, my nurse, laid 

Me to bed betimes. 






ELEGANT EPITAPHS. 83 



At Willesden :- 



William Robinson, aged 2, 
And 
Sally Robinson, aged 4, 
Children of 
William Robinson, of the Inner Temple, 
London, Gt., 
And Anne, his Wife, 
Anno Dom. 1750. 
Fled from scenes of guilt and misery, 
Without partaking of them; 
And their bodies sleep in this monument, 
United by mutual tenderness. 
Their sympathising souls, impatient 
of a separation, 
And eager to rejoin their kindred angels, 
With a smile took leave of their 
weeping parents here, 
And together ascended to their im- 
mortal Sire above, 
To sit at His right hand, 
To be cherished in His paternal bosom, 
To enjoy ineffable happiness, 
And part no more ; 
These reflections, inspired by heaven, 
Have taught their otherwise inconso- 
lable parents to dry up their tears, 
And yield a perfect resignation to the 

Divine will, 

Insomuch that they congratulate the 

dear deceased 



84 ELEGANT EPITAPHS. 

on their timely departure, 
And mourn only for the living. 

At Wortham, Suffolk: — 

To the memory of a first grandchild, 
Marion Edith Cobbold, Jan. 15, 1851. 

She lived a treasure dearly prized, 
In Jesus' name she was baptized. 

When Jesus shall to judgment come, 
We all shall find our heavenly home. 





II. 
professional OEpttapfjs- 



At Bridgeford-on-the-Hill, Notts : — 

Sacred to the Memory of John Walker, the only son 
of Benjamin and Ann Walker, Engineer and Palli- 
sade Maker, died September 22nd, 1832, aged 36 years. 

Farewell, my "wife and father dear ; 

My glass is run, my work is done, 

And now my head lies quiet here. 

That many an engine I've set up, 

And got great praise from men, 

I made them work on British ground, 

And on the roaring seas ; 

My engine's stopp'd, my valves are bad, 

And lies so deep within ; 

No engineer could there be found 

To put me new ones in. 

But Jesus Christ converted me, 

And took me up above. 

I hope once more to meet once more, 

And sing redeeming love. 



86 PROFESSIONAL EPITAPHS. 

Inscription on the monument in St. Margarefs Church, 
Westminster^ in remembrance of England's mighty bene- 
factor, The First English Printer : — 

To the memory of William Caxton, who first intro- 
duced into Great Britain the art of Printing, and who, A.D. 
1477, or earlier, exercised that art in the Abbey of West- 
minster. This Tablet in remembrance of one to whom 
the literature of the country is so largely indebted, was 
raised A.D. MDCCCXX., by the Roxburgh Club, Earl 
Spencer, K.G., President 

The following on the celebrated printer and bookseller, 
Jacob Tonson, who died in 1735 : — 

The volume of his life being finished, here is the end of 
Jacob Tonson. Weep, Authors, and break your pens : 
your TONSON, effaced from the book, is no more ; but print 
this last inscription on this last page of death, for fear 
that, delivered to the press of the grave, he, the Editor, 
should want a Title. Here lies a bookseller, the leaf of. 
his life being finished, awaiting a new edition, augmented 
and corrected. 

Honest Franklin imitated this last, and designed it 
for himself : — 

The body of Benjamin Franklin, printer, (like the 
cover of an old book, its contents torn out, and stript of 
its lettering and gilding,) lies here, food for worms ; yet the 
work itself shall not be lost, for it will appear once more 
in a new and more beautiful edition, corrected and 
amended by the author. (He was born Jan. 6th, 1706;. 
died April 17th, 1790.) 



PROFESSIONAL EPITAPHS. 87 

After the death of this sturdy patriot and sagacious 
writer, the following singular sentiment was inscribed to 
his memory : — 

Benjamin Franklin, the * (star) of his profession ; 
the type of honesty; the ! (admiration) of all; and 
although the t^° (hand) of death has put a . (period) to 
his existence, each § (section) of his life is without || (a 
parallel). 

The following was written by Fontaine for one of the 
well-known family of printers, named Gryphe. Our 
readers must bear in mind that griffe is a claw : — 



The great Clawer who claws all 
Has clawed the body of Gryphe ; 
The body of this Gryphe : but 
Not all of them : no, no, never. 



Le grand griffe qui tout griffe 
A griffe le corps de Gryphe ; 
Le corps de ce Gryphe : mais 
Xon le les : non, non, jamais ! 

On a Printer : — 

Here lies a form ; place no imposing stone 
To mark the bed where weary it is lain ; 

'Tis matter dead ! — its mission being done — 
To be distributed to dust again. 

The body's but the type at best of man, 
Whose impress is the spirit's deathless page; 

Worn out, the type is thrown to " pye " again — 
The impression lives through an eternal age. 

Here is another Typographical Epitaph .: — 

On L. Gedge, printer, died 18 18. In the Churchyard of 
Bury St. Edmund's. Here rest the remains of L. Gedge, 
printer. Like a worn-out character, he has returned to 
the Founder, hoping that he will be re-cast in a better and 
more perfect mould. 



PROFESSIONAL EPITAPHS. 



Epitaph on a Blacksmith : — 

Here cool the ashes of Mulciber Grim, 

Late of this Parish, Blacksmith j 

He was born in Seacole Lane, and bred at Hammer smith. 

From his youth upwards he was much addicted 

to vices, and was often guilty of forgery. 

Having some talents for iro?iy, 

He therefore produced many heats in his neighbourhood., 

Which he usually increased by blowing 

up the coals. 

This rendered him so unpopular, that when he found 

it necessary to adopt cooling measures, 

His conduct was generally accompanied with a hiss. 

Though he sometimes proved a warm friend, yet, where 

his interest was concerned, he made it a constant 

rule to st?ike while the iron was hot, regardless of the 

injury he might do thereby ; 

And when he had 

any matter of moment upon the anvil, he seldom failed 

to turn it to his awn advantage. 

Among the numberless instances that might be given of 

the cruelty of his disposition, it need only 

be mentioned 

That he was the means of hanging many of the innocent 

family of the Bells, 

Under the idle pretence of keeping them 

from jangling j 

And put great numbers of the hearts of steel into 

the hottest flames, 

merely (as he declared) to soften the obduracy 

of their tempers. 



PROFESSIONAL EPITAPHS. 



At length, after passing a long life in the commission of 

these black actions, his fire being exhausted, 

and his bellows worn out, 

He filed off to that place where only the fervid ordeal of 

his own forge can be exceeded ; 

Peclaring with his last puff, that man is born to trouble 

as the sparks fly upwards. 

This Epitaph was written by the poet Hayley, on a 
Blacksmith^, which may now be found in several church- 
yards, as at Rochdale, Lancashire; Bothwell, Scotland; 
Carisbrooke; Felthani, in Sussex; and at Westhatn, in 
Essex: — 

My sledge and hammer lie declined, 
My bellows-pipes have lost their wind, 
My fire's extinct, my forge decay' d. 
My vice is in the dust now laid ; 
My coal is spent,, my iron's gone, 
My nails are drove, my work is done, 
My fire-dried corpse here lies at rest, 
My soul, smoke-like, soars to be blest. 

In Sleaford Churchyard. On Henry Fox, a weaver : — 

Of tender thread this mortal web is made, 
The woof and warp and colours early fade ; 
When power divine awakes the sleeping dust, 
He gives immortal garments to the just. 



In Stepney Churchyard : — 

Here lies Daniel Saul, 
Spitalfields weaver — and that's all. 

And a similar one, on a John Hall, in St. Dunstan's. 



90 PROFESSIONAL EPITAPHS. 



In Edinburgh Churchyard : — 

Here lies the banes o' Tammy Messer, 
O tarry woo' he was a dresser, 
He had some faults and many merits, 
And died of drinking ardent spirits. 

On a Letter Founder at Oxford: — 

Under this stone lies honest Syl, 
Who dy'd, tho' sore against his will ; 
Yet in his fame he shall survive, — 
Learning shall keep his name alive ; 
For he the parent was of letters, 
Yie founded, to confound his betters : 
Tho' what those letters should contain 
Did never once disturb his brain. 
Since therefore, reader, he is gone, 
Pray let him not be trod upon. 



Hammersmith Church, Middlesex, on Thomas Wor- 
lidge, painter, died Sept. lyd, 1766. 

He who had art so near to nature brought, 
As e'en to give to shadows life and thought, 
Had yet, alas ! no art or power to save 
His own corporeal substance from the grave ; 
Yet tho' his mortal part inactive lies, 
Still Worlidge lives — for genius never dies. 

In All Saints 7 Churchyard, Newcastle: — 

Here lies Robert Wallis, 

Clerk of All Hallows, 

King of Good Fellows, 

And Maker of Bellows. 
He Bellows did make to the day of his death, 
But he that made Bellows could never make breath. 



PROFESSIONAL EPITAPHS. 91 



On Cornelius Barker, an Architect : — 

Here lies one whose deserved fame 

Will not yet fade or die ; 
His knowing head, when we are dead, 

Shall live in memory. 

In Gateshead Churchyard. Durham, is the following to 
the memory of the Architect of the Exchange and 
Guildhall :— 

Here lies Robert Trollope, 

Who made your stones roll up. 

When Death took his soul up, 

His body fill'd this hole up. 

On Sir John Vanbrugh, Architect :— 

Lie heavy on him, earth, for he 
Laid many a heavy load on thee. 

In St. Pauls Cathedral : — 

Underneath is buried Sir Christopher Wren, 
The builder of this Church and City, 

Who lived about ninety years, 

Not to himself, but to the public good. 

Reader ! if thou seekest his monument, look around. 

He died, Feb. 2^th, in the 91st year of his age. 

In Bullingham Old Churchyard : — 

This humble stone is o'er a builder's bed. 
Tho' raised on high by fame, low lies his head. 
His rule and compass are now lock'd up in store. 
Others may build, but he will build no more. 
His house of clay so frail, could hold no longer — 
May he in heaven be tenant of a stronger ! 



92 PROFESSIONAL EPITAPHS. 



On a Drunken Cobbler : — 

Enclosed within this narrow stall, 
Lies one who was a friend to azvl. 
He saved bad sales from getting worse, 
But d — ned his own without remorse, 
And though a drunken life he passed, 
Yet saved his sale, by mending- at the last. 

On Joseph Blakett, Poet and Shoemaker, of Sea- 
ham. Ob. 1810, by Lord Byron :— 

Stranger ! behold interr'd together 
The souls of learning and of leather. 
Poor Joe is gone, but left his all — 
You'll find his relics in a stall. 
His work was neat, and often found 
Well-stitched, and with morocco bound. 
Tread lightly — where the bard is laid 
We cannot mend the shoe he made ; 
Yet he is happy in his hole, 
With verse immortal as his sole. 
But still to business he held fast, 
And stuck to Phoebus to the last. 
Then who shall say so good a fellow 
Was only leather and prunella ? 
For character — he did not lack it, 
And if he did — 'twere shame to Black-it f 

At St. Leonard, Foster Lane, City, was the tomb of 
Robert Traps, Goldsmith, (who died in 1526,) with this 
epitaph : — 

When the Bells be merely roung, 
And the Masse devoutly soung, 

And the Meate merely eaten, 
Then sail Robert Trappes, his Wyffs, and 

His Children be forgotten. 



PROFESSIONAL EPITAPHS. 93 

At the Abbey Church, Sherborne, on Thomas Purdue, 
who died on 1st September, 1711, aged 90. It appears 
that Cardinal Wolsey presented the great bell to the 
Church, and in 1670 it was recast by Purdue. No record 
is preserved of the original legend on the bell, but the 
following inscription was placed upon it : — 

This bell was new cast by me, Thomas Purdue, 
October 20th, 1670. 

Gustavus Home, Walter Pride, churchwardens. 
By Wolsey' s gift I measure time for all : 
To mirth, to grief, to church I serve to call. 

The Epitaph on Purdue's tomb : — 

Here lies 
The Bell Founder 

Honest and true, 
Till ye resurrection 

Named Purdue. 

The following is to be found in the Churchyard of 
Ufiton-on-Severn : — 

Beneath this stone, in hope of Zion, 
Doth lie the landlord of the " Lion." 
His son keeps on the business still, 
Resign' d unto the Heavenly will. 

On JOHN Scott, a Liverpool Brewer : — 

Poor John Scott lies buried here : 
Although he was both hale and stout, 
Death stretch' d him on this bitter bier. 
In another world he hops about. 

On a Dyer : — 

Beneath this turf a man doth lie, 
Who dyed to live, and lived to die. 



94 PROFESSIONAL EPITAPHS. 

On a Dyer : — 

Here lies a man who dyed of wool great store, 
One day he died himself, and dyed no more. 

On a Watchmaker, from Lidford Churchyard, Devon : — 

Here lies in Horizontal position, the outside case 

of George Routleigh, Watchmaker, 

Whose abilities in that line were an honour 

to his profession : 

Integrity was the Main-spring, and Prudence the 

Regulator of all the actions of his life : 

Humane, generous, and liberal, his Hand never stopped 

till he had relieved distress. 

So sincerely Regulated were all his Movements, that 

he never went wrong, except when set a-going 

by people who did not know his Key : 

Even then he was easily set right again. 

He had the art of 

disposing his Time so well, that his hours 

glided away in one continual rou?id of Pleasure and 

Delight, till an unlucky moment put a period 

to his existence. 

He departed this Life, November 14th, 1802, aged $y. 

Wound up in hopes of his being taken in hand by his 

Maker, and of being thoroughly cleaned, repaired, 

and set-a-going in the world to come. 

On a Card Maker : — 

His card is cut ; long days he shuffled through 
The game of life : he dealt as others do. 
Though he by honours tells not its amount, 
When the last trump is play'd, his tricks will count. 



PROFESSIONAL EPITAPHS. 95 

In Alisco7nbe Churchyard, Devonshire : — 

Here lie the remains of James Pady, brickmaker, late 
of this parish, in hopes that his clay will be re-moulded in 
a workmanlike manner^ far superior to his former perish- 
able materials. 

Keep death and judgment always in your eye, 
Or else the devil off with you will fly, 
And in his kiln with brimstone ever fry : 
If you neglect the narrow road to seek, 
Christ will reject you, like a half-burnt brick / 

Westminster Abbey. On James Watt. The following 
inscription is understood to have been written by Lord 
Brougham : — 

Not to perpetuate a name 

Which must endure while the peaceful arts flourish, 

But to show that mankind have learned to 

honour those who best deserve their gratitude, 

The King, 

His Ministers and many of the Nobles and Commons of 

the Realm, raised this Monument to 

James Watt, 

Who, directing the force of an original Genius, early 

Exercised in philosophic research, to the improvement 

of the Steam Engine, 

Enlarged the resources of his country, increased 

the power of man, and rose to an eminent place 

Among the most illustrious followers of Science and the 

real benefactors of the World. 

Born at G?'ee?wck, 1736. 

Died at Heathfield, in Staffordshire, 18 19. 



96 PROFESSIONAL EPITAPHS. 

On an Undertaker : — 

Here lies Rob Master. Faith ! 'twas very hard 
To take away an honest Robin's breath ; 

Yet surely Robin was full well prepared, 
For he was always looking out for death. 

On a Pin Maker : — 

Here lies Will. Sharpless. Oh, most cruel Death ! 
Why didst thou rob Will. Sharpless of his breath? 
He, in his lifetime, scraping one poor pin, 
Made better dust than thou canst make of him. 



On a Baker : — 

Here lies Dick, a baker by trade, 
Who was always in business praised ; 

And here snug he lies, in his oven, 'tis said, 
In hopes that his bread may be raised. 

In Bromsgrove Churchyard, Worcestershire, on a Rail- 
way Engineer, dated 1840 :— 

My engine now is cold and still, 
V/ No water does my boiler fill ; 

My coke affords its flame no more ; 
My days of usefulness are o'er ; 
My wheels deny their noted speed, 
No more my guiding hand they need : 
My whistle, too, has lost its tone, 
Its shrill and thrilling sounds are gone ; 
My valves are now thrown open wide ; 
My flanges all refuse to guide, 
My clacks also, though once so strong, 
Refuse to aid the busy throng : 
No more I feel each urging breath ; 
My steam is now condensed in death. 






PROFESSIONAL EPITAPHS. 97 

Life's railway o'er, each station's passed, 
In death I'm stopped, and rest at last. 
Farewell, dear friends ; and cease to weep : 
In Christ I'm safe ; in Him I sleep. 

Wandsworth, Surrey. On Henry Smyth, Esq. : — 

Here lyeth the Body of 

Henry Smyth, Esq., 

Sometime Citizen and Alderman of London, 

Who departed this Life the 3rd day of January, 

An. Dom : 1627, 

Being then neere the Age of 79 years. 

Who, while he lived, 

Gave unto the several Towns in Surrey, following, 

One Thousand Pounds apiece, 

To buy Lands for Perpetuity, for the Reliefe and setting 

the poor People a worke in the said Towns, viz. : 

To the Towne of Croydon, One Thousand Pounds ; 

To the Towne of Kingston, One Thousand Pounds ; 

To the Towne of Guildford, One Thousand Pounds ; 

To the Towne of Darkin, One Thousand Pounds ; 

To the Towne of Farnham, One Thousand Pounds ; 

And by his last Will and Testament did further Give and 

Devise, to buy Lands for a Perpetuity for the 

Reliefe and setting their Poor a worke, 

Unto the Towne of Rygate, One Thousand Pounds ; 

Unto the Towne of Richmond, One Especyaltye, or Debt 

of a Thousand Pounds ; 

And unto this Towne of Wandsworth (wherein he was 

borne), the sume of Five Hundred Pounds, 

For the same uses as before. 

And did further Will and Bequeathe One Thousand 

7 



PROFESSIONAL EPITAPHS. 



Pounds, to buy Lands for Perpetuity, to redeem poor 

Captives and Prisoners from the Turkish Tyrannie ; and 

not here stinting his Charity and Bounty, 

Did also Give and Bequeathe 

The most part of his Estate (being to a great value) for 

the purchase of Lands of Inheritance for ever, 

For the Reliefe of the Poor, and setting them a worke. 

A pattern worthy of Imitation by those whom God hath 

blessed with the abundance of the Goods of this 

Life, to follow him herein. 

On an old woman who kept a pottery shop in Chester:— 

Beneath this stone lies old Katherine Gray, 

Changed from a busy life to lifeless clay, 

By earth and clay she got her pelf, 

But now is turn'd to earth herself. 

Ye weeping friends, let me advise, 

Abate your grief, and dry your eyes ; 

For what avails a flood of tears ? 

Who knows but in a run of years, 

In some tall pitcher or bread pan, 

She in her shop may be again ? 

In Morville Churchyard, near Bridgenorth, on John 
Charlton, Esq., who was for many years Master of the 
Wheatland Foxhounds, and died January 20th, 1843, 
aged 63 years, regretted by all who knew him : — 

Of this world's pleasures I have had my share, 
And few the sorrows I was doom'd to bear. 
How oft have I enjoy' d the noble chase 
Of hounds and foxes striving for the race ! 
But hark ! the knell of death calls me away, 
So sportsmen, all, farewell ! I must obey. 



PROFESSIONAL EPITAPHS. 99 

In Arbroath Churchyard : — 

Here lies Alexander Peter, present Town Treasurer 
of Arbroath, who died the 12th January, 1630. 

Such a treasurer was not since, nor yet before ; 
For common work " calsais trigs and schoir," 
Of all others he did excell. 
He devised our skeol, and he hung our bell. 

On Peter Aretine : — 

Here Aretine interr'd doth lie, 
Whose satire lash'd both high and low ; 

His God alone it spared ; and why ? 
His God, he said, he did not know. 

In All Saints' Church, Hertford. On Mr. Wake :— 

Here sleeps Mr. Wake, 

Who gave the four small bells. 

On a celebrated Cook : — 

Peace to his hashes. 

Mitcham Church, Surrey. In the chancel is a monu- 
ment to the memory of Sir Ambrose Crowley, Alder- 
man of London, who died in 17 13, and is celebrated in 
No. 73 of the Tatler, under the name of Sir Humphrey 
Greenfat. 

On a Parish Clerk : — 

Here lies within this tomb, so calm, 

Old Giles — pray sound his knell — 
Who thought no song was like a psalm, 

No music like a bell. 



PROFESSIONAL EPITAPHS. 



On Frank Raid : — 

Here lies the body of Frank Raid, 
Parish clerk, and gravestone cutter ; 

And this is writ to let you know, 

What Frank for others used to do, 
Is now for Frank done by another. 

In Cray ford Churchyard, Kent; — 

Here lies the body of Peter Isuel, thirty years Clerk 
of this parish. He lived respected, a pious and worthy- 
man, and died on his way to Church to officiate at a 
wedding, on 31st August, 181 1, aged 70. The inhabitants 
of Crayford raised this stone to his cheerful memory, and 
as a tribute to his faithful service : — 

The life of this clerk was just threescore and ten, 
Nearly half of which time he had sung out Amen. 
In his youth he was married, like other young men ; 
But his wife died one day, so he chaunted Amen. 
A second he took — she departed — what then ? 
He courted and married a third with Amen. 
His joys and his sorrows were treble, but then 
His voice was deep bass, as he sung out Amen. 
The horn was exalted in blowing Amen, 
He lost all his wind at threescore and ten ; 
And here, with three wives, he waits till again 
The trumpet shall rouse him to sing out Amen. 

At Weston : — 

Here lies entomb' d within this vault so dark, 
A tailor, cloth-drawer, soldier, and parish clerk ; 
Death snatch' d him hence, and also from him took 
His needle, thimble, sword, and prayer-book. 
He could not work, nor fight, — what then ? 
He left the world, and faintly cried, "Amen ! " 



PROFESSIONAL EPITAPHS. 



On a Tailor and Barber : — 

In a timber surtout here are wrapt the remains 

Of a mower of beards and a user of skeins ; 

'Twas the shears of grim Death cut his stay-tape of life, 

And press' d him away from twist, razors, and wife ; 

But the prayer of all people he sew'd for or shaved, 

Is that he's with the remnant of those that are saved. 



From Bolton-le-Moors Churchyard : — 

Sacred to the Memory of Frederic Webb, Coach 
Proprietor, of the firm of Webb, Houlden, and Co., of 
Bolton, who departed this life the 9th Dece?nber, 1825, 
aged twenty-three years. Not being able to combat the 
malevolence of his enemies, who sought his destruction, 
was taken prematurely from an affectionate loving wife 
and infant child, to deplore the loss of a good husband, 
whose worth was unknown, and who died an honest 
man. 

Westminster Abbey. On Sir Anthony Bury God- 
frey, Knt. :— 

Sir Anthony Bury Godfrey, 

who after being Knighted 

For his services to his King and Country, 

And discharging the Office of a Justice of the Peace, 

with unwearied assiduity and unwonted zeal, 

Was suddenly missed on the 12th of October, 1678, 

and after four days was found 

Barbarously and butcherly Murdered ! 

History will expose the rest. 



102 PROFESSIONAL EPITAPHS. 



St. Michael's, Comhill, City: — 

Hereunder lyeth a Man of Fame, 
William Walworth, call'd by name ; 
Fishmonger he was, in Lifetime here, 
And twice Lord Mayor, as in Bookes appeare : 
Who with courage stout, and manly might, 
Slew Wat Tyler, in King Richard's sight ; 
For which act done, and trew intent, 
The King made him Knight incontinent, 
And gave him Armes, as here you see, 
To declare his Fact and Chivalrie. 
He left this life, the year of our God, 
Thirteen hundred, fourscore, and three odd. 

At Bunny, Notts, in the chancel of the Church lies 
buried Thomas Parkins, the famous wrestler, and on 
a handsome marble monument he is represented in a 
wrestling attitude, and Time with his scythe mowing him 
down. 



On William Wqollett, the celebrated engraver :- 

Engraved by genius on the human heart, 
Woollett, thy works shall stand without a stain ; 

And though the great original is gone, 
The first impression ever shall remain. 



The Philosopher of Mantua, Pomponazzi, wrote his own 
epitaph : — 

Here I lie entomb' d ; wherefore, I know not, 

Nor do I care whether thou knowest : 

If thou art well, it is well ; while living, / was well, 

And mayhap I am well even now ; 

But be it so or not, I cannot tell thee. 



PROFESSIONAL EPITAPHS. 103 

At Highgate Cemetery may be seen a monument 
erected to the memory of Lillywhite, the celebrated 
cricketer, and it has a significant emblem, being marked 
with a wicket upset by a ball. 

On a Cricketer, in a Cemetery near Salisbury : — 

I bowl'd, I struck, I caught, I stopp'd — 

Sure life's a game of cricket ; 
I block'd with care, with caution popp'd, 

Yet Death has hit my wicket. 

Some few years since, in the village Churchyard of 
Leeds, Kent, a stone was erected, with an inscription 
having blanks, which have since been filled up : — 

In memory of JAMES Barham, of this parish, who 
departed this life January 14th, 1818, aged 93; and 
who from the year 1774 to the year 1804, rung in Kent 
and elsewhere 112 peals, not less than 5,040 changes in 
each peal, and called bobs, etc., for most of the peals ; 
and April 7th and 8th, 1761J assisted in ringing 40,320 
bob-majors on Leeds bells in twenty-seven hours. 

According to Strabo, the Greek geographer, the follow- 
ing epitaph was engraved upon the sepulchre of Sarda- 
NAPALUS : — 

Sardanapalus, son of Anacyndaraxes, caused the 
towns of Anchiales and Tarsus to be built in one day. 
Pass on, stranger, eat, drink, and amuse thyself, for nought 
else is worth a fillip. 

This unworthy philosophy has been commemorated in 
Byron's couplet: — 

Eat, drink, and sleep, what will the rest avail us ? 
So said the royal sage, Sardanapalus. 



104 PROFESSIONAL EPITAPHS. 

Epitaph on the death of JOHN WARNER, late Lord 
Maior of the Citie of London : — 

Here lies my Lord Maior under this stone, 
That last Bartholomew-faire no Puppets would owne ; 
But next Bartholomew-faire, who liveth to see, 
Shall view my Lord Maior, a puppet to bee, 
Which sight shall for ever continue his Fame, 
That he may dye never, but here have a Name. 
Nov. Tjth, 1648. John Warner, Junior. 

On a Linen Draper : — 

Cottons and Cambrics, all adieu, 

And muslins, too, farewell ; 
Plain, striped, and figured, old and new, 

Three-quarters, yard, and ell ; 
By nail and yard I've measured ye, 

As customers inclined ; 
The church-yard now has measured me, 

And nails my coffin bind. 

On a Woodman, at Ockham, Surrey ', 1736 : — 

The Lord saw good, I was lopping wood, 

And down fell from the tree ; 
I met with a check, and broke my neck, 

And so death lopp'd off me. 

On an Author : — 

A life of labour, by no pause relieved, 

Wore out a brain which splendid thoughts conceived. 

Had Fortune kindly given him more of leisure, 

The world, perhaps, had miss'd — he gain'd — a pleasure; 

With less of friction, and much more of rust, 

Death might have waited longer for his dust. 



PROFESSIONAL EPITAPHS. 105 

In the Church of Walton-on-Thames, Surrey ', is the 
tomb of Lilley, the Astrologer, with the following in- 
scription : — 

Ne oblivione conteretur urna Gulielmi Lilii, 
Astrologi peritissimi qui fatis cessit vito 
idus Junii anno Christo Juliano mdclxxxi. 
Hoc illi posuit amoris monumentum, Elias 
Ashmole Armiger. 

Lyme Church, Dorset. On William Hewlin : — 

Here lieth the body of William Hewlin, son of 
William Hewlin, Merchant, of London, and grandson of 
William Hiffen, Esq., Alderman of London, who suffered 
martyrdom before he was full twenty years of age, for 
engaging with the Duke of Monmouth, for the Protestant 
religion and English liberty, against Popery and Slavery, 
September 17th, 1685. 

In Upsala Cathedral, the finest ecclesiastical edifice in 
the kingdom of Sweden, lies interred under a stone near 
the main door, with his much-loved wife by his side, 
Linn^us, the pride of the place. The stone bears no 
inscription — not even his name ; but at a short distance 
from it there is a bust of the great naturalist, cut in alto- 
relievo on black marble, and the following inscription 
engraved on a tablet of beautiful Swedish porphyry : — 

Botanicorum Principe, 
Amici et Discipuli. 
MDCCXCVIII. 

Axbridge Church, Somerset. There is a fine old brass 
plate in the floor of the north aisle here, with the portrai- 



106 PROFESSIONAL EPITAPHS. 

tures of a male and female kneeling, and the following 
inscription underneath : — 

Here lie the remains of Roger Harper, formerly a 
merchant or trader of this town, and Joanna his wife ; 
which Roger indeed died on the twenty-second day of the 
month oi August, and the said Joanna died on the same 
day in the preceding month, in the year of our Lord, 
MCCCCXCIII. 

"May God be propitious to the souls of both." 

Henry Walton, a statesman and author, who died in 
1639, desired that on his tomb should be placed an in- 
scription which he himself indited : — 

Here lies he who composed this sentence — The itch of 
contention is the plague of the Church! Seek his name 
elsewhere ! 

On a Schoolmaster of the Parish, in the Churchyard of 
Curry, near Edinburgh , who died in 1696 : — 

Beneath thir stanes lie Meekie's banes: 

O Satan ! should you tak him, 
Appoint him tutor to your weans, 

And clever deils he'll mak them. 

A similar one on a Schoolmaster, in Cleish Parish, 
Fifeshire, was written by Robert Burns. 

In Dunmore Churchyard, Ireland: — 

Here lie the remains of John Hall, Grocer. 

The world is not worth a. Jig, and I have good raisins tor saying so. 



PROFESSIONAL EPITAPHS. , 107 

At the Church of East Hucknall, Derbyshire, in me- 
mory of one of the Duke of Devonshire's park keepers : — 

My gun's discharged, 

My ball is gone, 
My powder's spent, 

My work is done. 
Those panting deer 

I've left behind 
May now have time 

To gain the wind, 
Since I, who oft have 

Chased them o'er 
The verdant plains, 

Am now no more. 

A faithful servant, who died at the commencement of 
1707, has to the description of his merits : — 

Here lieth John James, the old cook of Newby, who 
was a faithful servant to his master, and an upright, down- 
right honest man. 

These uncomfortable lines added : — 

Banes among stanes, do lye so still, 

While the soul wanders e'en where God will. 

On Dr. Johnson, by Soame Jenyns : — 

Here lies poor Johnson. Reader ! have a care, 
Tread lightly, lest you rouse a sleeping bear. 
Religious, moral, gen'rous and humane, 
He was, but self-conceited, rude, and vain : 
Ill-bred, and overbearing in dispute, 
A scholar and a Christian, yet a brute. 
Would you know all his wisdom and his folly, 
His actions, sayings, mirth, and melancholy ; 
Boswell and Thrale, retailers of his wit, 
Will tell you how he wrote, and talked, and spit. 



io8 PROFESSIONAL EPITAPHS. 

Carew, in his Survey of Cornwall, tells us that old age 
is very common, one person he mentions as living to the 
age of 130, another 112, and again no. He made this 
epitath on a Cornish beggar : — 

Here Brawne, the quondam beggar lies, 

Who counted by his tale 
Some sixscore winters and above, 

Such virtue is in ale. 
Ale was his meat, his drink, his clothes, 

Ale did his death reprieve : 
And could he still have drunk his ale, 

He had been still alive. 

To the Pie-House Memory of Nell Batchelor, the 
Oxford Pie- Woman : — 

Here, into the dust 

The mouldering crust 
Of Eleanor Batchelor 's shoven ; 

Well versed in the arts 

Of pies, custards, and tarts, 
And the lucrative skill of the oven. 

When she'd lived long enough, 

She made her last puff — 
A puff by her husband much praised. 

Now here she doth lie, 

And makes a dirt pie, 
In hopes that her crust shall be raised. 

Epitaph on John Adams, Carrier, of Southwell, Notts, 
by Lord Byron : — 

John Adams lies here, of the parish of Southwell, 
A carrier who carried his can to his mouth well ; 
He carried so much, and he carried so fast, 
He could carry no more— so was carried at last ; 
For the liquor he drank, being too much for one, 
He could not carryoft, — so he's now carri-on. 



PROFESSIONAL EPITAPHS. 109 

On a Magistrate, who had formerly been a Barber : — 

Here lies Justice ; be this his truest praise : 
He wore the wig which once he made, and learnt 
to shave both ways. 

Cecil Clay, the counsellor of Lord Chesterfield, 
caused this whimsical pun upon his name to be put on 
his tombstone : two ciphers of C.C., and underneath — 

"jSum quod fui." (I am what I was.) 

On Thomas Maginn, LL.D., at Walton-on-Thames, 
died August 20th, 1842, by J. G. Lockhart : — 

Here early to bed, lies kind Thomas Maginn, 

Who with genius, wit, learning, life's trophies to win, 

Had neither great lord nor rich cit of his kin, 

Nor discretion to set himself up as to tin ; 

So his portion soon spent, like the poor heir of Lynn, 

He turn'd author ere yet there was beard on his chin ; 

And whoever was out, or whoever was in, 

For your Tories his fine Irish brains he would spin ; 

Who received prose and rhyme with a promising grin, 

"Go a-head, you queer fish, and more pow'r to your fin ! " 

But to save from starvation stirr'd never a pin. 

Light for long was his heart, tho' his breeches were thin, 

Else his acting, for certain, was equal to Quin : 

But at last he was beat, and sought help of the bin, 

(All the same to the doctor, from claret to gin !) 

Which led swiftly to gaol, with consumption therein. 

It was much, when the bones rattled loose in the skin, 

He got leave to die here, out of Babylon's din. 

Barring drink and the girls, I ne'er heard of a sin : — 

Many worse, better few, than bright, broken Maginn. 

On a Lawyer : — 

See how God works His wonders now and then, — 
Here lies a lawyer and an honest man. 



PROFESSIONAL EPITAPHS. 



On Mr. Strange, a Lawyer : — 

Here lies an honest lawyer, that is Strange. 

From the interior of Chichester Cathedral, on a Crier of 
Periwinkles : — 

Periwinks ! Periwinkles ! was ever her cry ; 

She labour' d to live, poor and honest to die. 

At the last day again how her old eyes will twinkle ! 

For no more will she cry Periwinks ! Periwinkles ! 

Ye rich, to virtuous want regard pray give ; 

Ye poor, by her example, learn to live. 



Died Jan, i, 1786, aged 77. 
On Mills, the Huntsman :- 



Here lies John Mills, who over hills 
Pursued the hounds with hallo ; 

The leap though high, from earth to sky, 
The huntsman we must follow. 



On William Prynne : — 

Here lies the corpse of William Prynne, 
A bencher late of Lincoln's Inn ; 
Who rudely thrust thro' thick and thin, 
Was never out — nor never in. 

A shameless, graceless, gospel-spiller, 
An endless, restless, margin-filler ; 
To King and Bishops no good wilier, 
To Church and State a caterpillar. 

Against his fate in vain he shrugs, 
In hopes of life, himself he hugs ; 
And whilst he for more tether tugs, 
Death .crops the remnant of his lugs. 



PROFESSIONAL EPITAPHS. in 

On a Quack : — 

I was a quack, and there are men who say 
That in my time I physick'd lives away ; 
And that at length I by myself was slain 
By my own drugs, ta'en to relieve my pain. 
The truth is, being troubled with a cough, 
I like a fool consulted Dr. Gough, 
Who physick'd me to death, at his own will, 
Because he's licensed by the state to kill : 
Had I but wisely taken my own physic, 
I never should have died of cold and 'tisick. 
So all be warn'd, and when you catch a cold, 
Go to my son, by whom my medicine's sold. 

On Judge Boat, by Swift :— 

Here lies Judge Boat within a coffin : 
Pray, gentle folks, forbear your scoffing. 
A boat, a judge ! Yes, where's the blunder? 
A wooden judge is no such wonder ! 
And in his robes you must agree, 
No boat was better deckt than he. 
'Tis needless to describe him fuller ; 
In short, he was an able sculler* 

On the Driver of the Coach that ran between Aylesbury 
and London, by the Rev. H. Bullen, Vicar of Dunton, 
Bucks, in whose churchyard the man was buried : — 

Parker, farewell ! thy journey now is ended. 

Death has the whip-hand, and with dust is blended ; 

Thy way-bill is examined, and I trust 

Thy last account may prove exact and just. 

When He who drives the chariot of the day, 

Where life is light, whose Word's the living way, 

Where travellers, like yourself, of every age, 

And every clime, have taken their last stage, 

The God of mercy, and the God of love, 

Show you the road to Paradise above ! 

* Probably the author meant scholar, and wilfully mistook. 



112 



PROFESSIONAL EPITAPHS. 



On a Coroner who hanged himself : — 
He lived and died by suicide. 

On Sir Philip Sydney :— 

England hath his body, for she it fed ; 
Netherlands his blood, in her defence shed ; 
The heavens have his soul, 

The Arts have his fame, 
The soldier his grief, 

The world his good name. 

Epigrammatic Epitaph on a Dustman : — 

Beneath yon humble clod, at rest, 
Lies Andrew, who if not the best, 

Was not the very worst man : 
A little rakish, apt to roam, 
But not so now ; he's quite at home, 

For Andrew was a dustman. 



In East Bergholt Church, Suffolk : — 

Edward Edward Lambe, Lambe 

Ever second sonne of Lived 

Envied Thomas Lambe, Laudably 

Evill of Trimley, Lord 

Endured Esquire. Lett 

Extremities All his days Like 

Even he lived a Bachelor. Life 

Earnestly Well learned in Deveyne Learne 

Expecting and Common Lawes, Ledede 

Eternal with his councell he Livers 

Ease helped many, yett took Lament 
fees scarse of any. 
He dyed the 19th November ; 1647. 



PROFESSIONAL EPITAPHS. 113 

In Arlington Churchyard, Devonshire : — 

Here lies Will Burgoin, a squire by descent, 
Whose death in this world many people lament. 

The rich for his love, 

The poor for his alms, 

The wise for his knowledge, 

The sick for his balms. 
Grace he did love, and vice control ; 
Earth hath his body, and heaven his soul. 
The twelfth of August in the morn died he, 
162 and 3. 

There are many curious anecdotes in medical history 
relative to the sepulchral habitations and honours of 
medical men. Some have not chosen to be buried in 
churches or churchyards, fearing to encounter some of 
their former patients, and having over their heads 
inscribed : — 

At length a grave — spots for him provided, 
Where all through him so many of us die did. 

Verheyen, professor of anatomy and physic, at Lou- 
vain, composed the following epitaph himself : — 

Philip Verheyen, doctor and professor of physic, 
ordered his mortal part to be buried here, in the church- 
yard, that he might not pollute the church, and infect it 
with noxious effluvia. 

This seems to have given a hint to a doctor in Stafford- 
shire, who was buried in a garden, with this inscription : — 

Here lieth Dr. who departed this life Dece?nber 

22, 1745, an d desired to be interred here in his own gar- 

8 



ii 4 PROFESSIONAL EPITAPHS. 

den, rather than in a churchyard, lest he who had studied 
to promote man's health while alive, should be detrimental 
to it when dead, as well as defile the house of God. 
Aged 66. 

Epitaph on a Physician, Dr. Chard : — 

Here lies the corpse of Dr. Chard, 
Who fill'd the half of this churchyard. 

Epitaph written by Dr. Godfrey, on himself. He 
died in Dublin, 1755 : — 

Epitaphium Chymicum. 

Here lieth to digest, macerate, and amalgamate with clay, 

In Balneo Arena, 

Stratum super Stratum, 

The Residuum, Terra damnata and Caput Mortuum, 

Of Boyle Godfrey, Chymist and M.D. 

A man, who in this Earthly Laboratory, pursued various 

Processes to obtain Arcanum Vitce, 

or the Secret to Live : 

Also, Aurum Vitce, 

or, the art of getting rather than making Gold. 

A Ichy mist-like, all his Labour and Projection, 

as Mercury in the Fire, Evaporated in Fume, when he 

Dissolved to his first principles. 

He departed as poor 

as the last drops of an Alembic j for Riches are not 

poured on the Adepts of this world. 

Though fond of News, he carefully avoided the 

Fermentation, Effervescence, and Decrepitation of this life. 

Full seventy years his Exalted Essence 



PROFESSIONAL EPITAPHS. 115 

was hermetically sealed in its Terretie Matrass J but the 
Radical Moisture being exhausted, the Elixir Vita? spent, 

And exsiccated to a Cuticle, he could not sitspend 
longer in his Vehicle, but precipitated Gradatim, per 
Campanam, to his original dust. 
May that light, brighter than Bolognian Phosphorus, 
preserve him from the Athanor, Empyreiuna, and Rever- 
beratory Furnace of the other world, 
Depurate him from the Fozcas and Scoria of this, 
Highly Rectify and Volatilise his (Ethereal spirit, 
Bring it over the Helm of the Retort of this Globe, place 
it in a proper Recipient or Crystalline orb, 
Among the elect of the Flowers of Benjamin; never 
to be be saturated till the General Resuscitation, Defla- 
gration, Calcination, and Sublimation of all things. 

Salisbury Cathedral. On Dr. d'Aubigny Tuber- 

VILLE : — 

M. S. 

Near this place is interred 

the most expert and successful Oculist that ever was, 

perhaps that ever will be, 

Doctor d'Aubigny Tuberville, 

Descended from two Families of those names, than which 

there are few more Ancient or Noble. 

During the Civil Wars he bore arms for the King. After 

the Surrender of Exeter, 

he lived at Wayford and CrookJiam j but those towns 

not affording convenience to his numerous patients, 

he removed to London^ 

intending to settle there ; but not having his health, he 



u6 PROFESSIONAL EPITAPHS. 

left it, and lived in Salisbury more than thirty years, 

doing good to all, and being beloved by all. 

His great fame caused multitudes to flock to him, not 

only from all parts of this kingdom, but also from 

Scotland, Ireland, France, and America. 

He died April the 21st, 1696, in the 85th year of his age, 

and left his estate betwixt his only sister and niece, 

at whose expense this monument was erected. 

Doctor Walter Pope 

Wrote this Epitaph, to perpetuate his gratitude, and to the 

memory of his Friend and Benefactor. 

Mortlake, Surrey. Gn John Partridge : — 

John Partridge, 

Astrologer and Doctor of Physic, 

Born at East Sheen, in the County of Surrey, 

Died the 14th June, Anno 17 15. 

He was Physician to two Kings and one Queen, Charles 

the 2nd, William the 3rd, and Queen Mary ; 
He was created Doctor of Physic at Ley den, in Holland. 

On Dr. Mounsey, Physician to Chelsea Hospital. 
He left his body to the Institution, and at one time in- 
tended it should be buried in his garden, with an epitaph 
written by himself in 1788 : — 

Here lie my old bones : my vexation now ends : 

I have lived much too long for myself and my friends. 

As to churches and churchyards, which man may call holy, 

'Tis a rank piece of witchcraft, and founded in folly. 

What the next world may be, never troubled my pate ; 

And be what it may, I beseech you, O Fate ! 

When the bodies of millions rise up in a riot, 

To let the old carcase of Mounsey be quiet. 



PROFESSIONAL EPITAPHS. 117 



On Dr. Stafford, a remarkably fat man : — 

Take heed, O good traveller, and do not tread hard, 
For here lies Dr. Stafford in all this churchyard. 



In Hendon Churchyard, Middlesex. On THOMAS 
Crossfield, M.D., written by himself: — 

Beneath this stone Tom Crossfield lies, 
Who cares not now who laughs or cries ; 
He laugh'd when sober, and when mellow, 
Was a harum scaru??i heedless fellow. 
He gave to none design' d offence, 
So Honi soil qui mal y pense. 

At Cardross, in Dumbartonshire, Dr. Tobias George 
Smollett, the well-known author of Roderic Rando7?i, 
and other works, was born, and adjacent to the place of 
his nativity has been erected a lofty column to his me- 
mory, with an elegant Latin inscription. 

In St. John the Baptist Church, Savoy, Lo?idon, is a 
monument erected in 1846, to the memory of Dr. CAME- 
RON, the last person executed on account of the rebellion 
of 1745, with the following inscription : — 

To the Memory of Dr. Archibald Cameron, whose 

remains after his Execution were deposited in 

the Vault beneath, 

This Monument, with the gracious permission of 

Her Majesty the Queen Victoria, 

is erected by his great-grandson, a.d. 1846, 

One hundred years after the battle of Culloden. 



n8 PROFESSIONAL EPITAPHS. 

To soothe the sufferer then was all thy thought, 
Whate'er the banner under which he fought. 

Thy hand would staunch the blood of him that bled, 
Were it for Brunswick or for Stuart shed. 

In Stepney Churchyard. On Captain John Dunch, 
who died 1697, aged 67 : — 

Though Boreas' blasts and Neptune's waves 

Have toss'd me to and fro, 
In spite of both, by God's decree, 

I anchor here below, 
Where I do now at anchor ride 

With many of our fleet ; 
Yet once again I must set sail, 

Our admiral, Christ, to meet. 

All Saints', Hertford. On Captain William 

Minors : — 

Here lieth the Body of 

Captain William Minors, 

Who, after Ten Voyages to the East Indies, 

Departed this life the 18th day of July, 1667, 

In the 74th year of his age, 

And chose this place for his Harbour 

Until the Resurrection. 

From the Churchyard of Barwick-in-Elmet, York- 
shire : — 

Here lies, retired from busy scenes, 
A first lieutenant of Marines, 
Who lately lived in gay content 
On board the brave ship "Diligent." 
Now stripp'd of all his warlike show, 
And laid in box of elm below, 
Confined in earth in narrow borders, 
He rises not till further orders. 






PROFESSIONAL EPITAPHS. 119 



In St Brelade Churchyard, Jersey. On an old sailor : — 

Weep for a seaman, honest and sincere, 

Not cast away, but brought to anchor here. 

Storms had o'erwhelm'd him, but the conscious wave 

Repented, and resign' d him to the grave. 

In harbour, safe from shipwreck now he lies. 

Till Time's last signal blazes through the skies, 

Refitted in a moment he'll then be, 

Sail from this port on an eternal sea. 



In Stoneham Parish Church, Hampshire : — 

D.O.M, 

This Monument is sacred to the Memory of 

Edward Hawke, 

Lord Hawke, Baron of Tawton, in the County of York, 

Knight of the Bath, 

Admiral and Commander-in-Chief of the Fleet ; 

Vice- Admiral of Great Britain, etc., etc. 

Who died October 17th, 1781, 

Aged 76. 

The bravery of his soul was equal to the dangers he 

encountered ; the cautious intrepidity of his 

deliberations superior even to the conquest 

he obtained. The annals of his life compose 

a period of naval glory unparalleled 

in later times ; for wherever he 

sailed, victory attended him. 

A prince, unsolicited, 

conferred on him 

dignities he 

disdained 

to ask. 



PROFESSIONAL EPITAPHS. 



The last Epitaph may also be found in Kilkeran 
Churchyard, Ay?'shire, where it commemorates a certain 
shipmaster, one John Ferguson, of Ayr. 

A very similar one is at the parish Church of Duffus, 
in Morayshire. 

Also in the Churchyard of St. Mary Key, Ipswich ; — 

Tho' Boreas' blasts and Neptune's waves have toss'd me to and fro, 
Yet now at last, by Heaven's decree, I harbour here below, 
Where at anchor I do lie with others of our fleet, 
Till the last trump do raise us up our admiral, Christ, to meet. 

In the west part of Fife, in the churchyard of the village 
of Torryburn, part of an Epitaph remains which deserves 
notice. A portion was very absurdly erased by the owner 
of the burying ground, to make room for the names of 
some of his kindred. The whole epitaph formerly stood 
thus : — 

At anchor now, in Death's dark road, 

Rides honest Captain Hill, 
Who served his King, and fear'd his God, 

With upright heart and will. 
In social life sincere and just, 

To vice of no kind given, 
So that his better part, we trust, 
Hath made the port of Heaven. 

Dubellay, an author of some repute, composed for 
Leon Stozzi, a seaman in the service of France, slain in 
Italy in 1554, an inscription somewhat as follows: — 

I, the great Captain Leon Stozzi, I do not lie here in 
this urn, for so small an urn could not contain so great a 



PROFESSIONAL EPITAPHS. 121 

man ; earth holds me no longer, for a glory wider than the 
earth has raised me to heaven as a beautiful star for 
mariners, so that, as in the olden time the waters carried 
and sustained my ships, and trembled under me, even now 
it pleases me to become the God of the Sea. Go then, ye 
who follow me and are entrusted with my office, go boldly 
forth upon the waters; for there I have traced out for ye a 
safe and certain path. 

In South-hill Church, Bedfordshire, is a plain monu- 
ment to the memory of Admiral Byng, who was shot at 
Portsmouth : — 

To the perpetual disgrace of public justice, 

The Honourable John Byng, Vice-Admiral of the Blue, 

fell a martyr to political persecution, March 14, 

in the year 1757; 

when bravery and loyalty were insufficient securities for 

the life and honour of a naval officer. 

At Ca?isbrook, Isle of Wight: — 

Here lieth the body of the Right Worthy Wm. Keeling, 
Groom of the Chamber to our Sovereign Lord King James ; 
General for the Hon. East India Adventures, whither 
he was thrice by them employed ; and dying in this Isle 
at the age of 42, An. 161 9, Sept. 19, hath this remem- 
brance here fixed by his loving and sorrowful wife, Ann 
Keeling : — 

Fortie and two years in this vessel fraile 
On the rough seas of life did Keeling saile, 
A merchant fortunate, a captain bould, 
A courtier gracious, yet, alas ! not old. 



122 PROFESSIONAL EPITAPHS. 



Such wealth, experience, honour, and high praise, 
Few winne in twice so many years or days ; ». 
For what the world admired, he deem'd but drosse 
For Christ, —without Christ all his gains but losse. 
For Him and for His love, with merrie cheere, 
To the Holy Land his last course he did steer : 
Faith served for sails, the sacred word for yard ; 
Hope was his anchor, glbrie his reward ; 
And thus with gales of grace, by happy venter, 
Through straits of death, heav'n's harbour he did enter. 

On a Sailor : — 

Here goes honest Ben^ to the sharks soon a prey, 

Who lived like a sailor, good-natured and gay, 

His rigging well fitted, his sides close and tight, 

His bread-room well stow'd, and his mainmast aright. 

Davy Jones, like a pirate built solely for plunder, 

Thus hail'd the poor lad, in a voice harsh as thunder, 

1 ' Drop your peak, my tight fellow, your foresail throw back, 

For already too long you've remain'd on that tack." 

Ben heard the dread call, and without more ado, 

His sail flatten' d in, and his bark she broach' d to. 

At Woodbridge, Suffolk. On Joseph Spalding, 
Master and Mariner, who departed this life Sept. 2, 
1796, aged 55:— 

Embark' d in life's tempestuous sea, we steer 
Amidst threatening billows, rocks and shoals ; 

But Christ by faith dispels 'each wavering fear, 
And safe secures the anchor of our souls. 

On a Military Officer, in a churchyard near Oxford; — 

Billeted by Death, 

I quarter' d here lay slain ; 
And when the trumpet sounds, 

I'll rise and march again. 



PROFESSIONAL EPITAPHS-. 123 



At Yarmouth; — 

To the memory of Isaac Smith, who died March 
24th, 1808, and Samuel Bodger, who died April 2nd, 
1808, both of the Cambridgeshire Militia. 

The tyrant Death did early us arrest, 

And all the magazines of life possest : 

No more the blood its circling course did run, 

But in the veins like icicles it hung ; 

No more the hearts, now void of quickening heat, 

The tuneful march of vital motion beat ; 

Stiffness did into every sinew climb, 

And a short death crept cold through every limb. 

At Bury St. Edmunds: — 

William Middleditch, 

Late Serjeant-Major of the Grenadier Guards, 

Died Nov. 13, 1834, aged 53 years. 

A husband, father, comrade, friend sincere, 
A British soldier brave, lies buried here. 
In Spain and Flushing, and at Waterloo, 
He fought to guard our country from the foe ; 
His comrades, Britons, who survive him, say, 
He acted nobly on that glorious day. 

On an oval stone monument, against the south wall of 
St. Mary's Church, Beverley, Yorkshire, under two swords 
crossed : — 

Here two young Danish soldiers lie : 
The one in quarrel chanced to die ; 
The other's head, by their own law, 
With sword was sever' d at one blow. 
December 23rd, 1689. 



124 PROFESSIONAL EPITAPHS. 



At Winchester. To the memory of Thomas Fletcher:— 

Here sleeps in peace a Hampshire grenadier, 
Who caught his death by drinking cold small beer. 
Soldiers ! take heed from his untimely fall, 
And when you're hot, drink strong, or none at all. 

The stone, being decayed, was replaced by the officers 
of the garrison, A.D. 1781. This also failing, a stone with 
the following inscription was placed by the North Hants 
Militia, 1802:— 

An honest soldier never is forgot, 
Whether he die by musket or by pot. 

At Bremkill, Wiltshire. On an old Soldier, aged 92 : — 

A poor old soldier shall not lie unknown, 
Without a verse and this recording stone. 
'Twas his, in youth, o'er distant lands to stray, 
Danger and death companions of his way. 
Here, in his native village, stealing age 
Closed the lone evening of his pilgrimage. 
Speak of the past — of names of high renown, 
Or brave commanders long to dust gone down, 
His look with instant animation glow'd, 
Tho' ninety winters on his head had snow'd. 
His country, while he lived, a boon supplied, 
And Faith her shield held o'er him when he died. 

Epitaphium. On the Honble. Col. Thos. Rains- 
BROUGH, murdered in his bedchamber at Doncaster, by 
three Pontefract soldiers, Sunday, October 29, 1648 : — 

Here lyes as much true valour as could dye, 
A sacrifice for England's Liberty, 
Great and good Rainsbrough (enough is said), 
Through Chomley's pride and cowardice betray 'd. 



PROFESSIONAL EPITAPHS. 125 



The Epitaph, or Engravement, on the Tombstone :- 

He that made King, Lords, Commons, Judges shake, 

Cities and Committees quake, 
He that sought nought but His dear countrie's good, 

And seal'd their Right with His last blood, 
Rainsbrough, The Just, The Valiant, and True, 
Here bids the Noble Levellers Adieu. 



In Yarmouth Churchyard : — 

To the memory of George Griffiths, of the Shrop- 
shire Militia, who died Feb. 26th, 1807, in consequence 
of a blow received in a quarrel with his comrade. 

Time flies away as nature on its wing. 

I in a battle died (not for my King.) 

Words with my brother soldier did take place, 

Which shameful is, and always brings disgrace. 

Think not the worse of him who do remain, 

For he as well as I might have been slain. 

Upon the tomb of a General, named FRANCOIS DE 
Mercy, who died of wounds received in battle at Nord- 
lingen ; — 

Stop, traveller, thou treadest upon a hero. 

Again, in the famous battle of Marathon, in which the 
Greeks, under Miltiades, defeated the Persian army, and 
secured their independence, ^Eschylus, a brave soldier, 
composed for himself the following : — 

Here lies ^Eschylus, son of Euphorion, born in Attica. 
He died in the fertile province of Gela, Persia, and the 
groves of Marathon will ever bear witness to his valour. 



126 PROFESSIONAL EPITAPHS. 

Chelsea Hospital. On a veteran : — 

Here lies William Hiseland, 

A Veteran, if ever Soldier was, 

Who merited well a Pension, 

If long service be a merit, 

Having served upwards of the days of Man. 

Ancient, but not superannuated ; 

Engaged in a Series of Wars, 

Civil as well as Foreign, 

Yet maimed or worn out by neither. 

His complexion was Fresh and Florid ; 

His Health Hale and Hearty; 

His Memory Exact and Ready. 

In Stature, 

He exceeded the Military Size; 

In Strength, 

He surpassed the Prime of Youth; 

And 

What rendered his age still more Patriarchal, 

When above a Hundred Years old 

He took unto him a Wife ! 

Read ! fellow Soldiers, and reflect 

That there is a Spiritual Warfare, 

As well as a Warfare Temporal. 

Born the ist August, 1620, 
Died the 17th of February, 1732, 
Aged One Hundred and Twelve. 

In Battersea Church there is a handsome monument 
to Sir Edward Wynter, a Captain in the East India 
Company's service in the reign of Charles II., which re- 



PROFESSIONAL EPITAPHS. 127 

cords that in India, where he had passed many years of 
his life, he was — 

A rare example, and unknown to most, 

Where wealth is gain'd, and conscience is not lost ; 

Nor less in martial honour was his name, 

Witness his actions of immortal fame. 

Alone, unharm'd, a tiger he opprest, 

And crush'd to death the monster of a beast. 

Thrice twenty mounted Moors he overthrew, 

Singly, on foot, some wounded, some he slew, 

Dispersed the rest, — what more could Samson do ? 

True to his friends, a terror to his foes, 

Here now in peace his honour'd bones repose. 

Below, in bas-relief, he is represented struggling with 
the tiger, both the combatants appearing in the attitude 
of wrestlers. He is also depicted in the performance of 
the yet more wonderful achievement, the discomfiture of 
the "thrice twenty mounted Moors," who are all flying 
before him. 

St. dies' Church. A visitor to this place will not fail 
to remark a slab, and the following letters cut very deep 
into the marble : — 

Under this marble lie the bodies 

of the two most valiant Captains, 

Sir Charles Lucas and Sir George Lisle, Knts., 

Who, for their eminent Loyalty 

To their Sovereign, 

Were, on the 28th day oi August, 1648, 

By command of Sir Thos. Fairfax, 

Then General of the Parliament Army, 

In cold blood barbarously murdered. 



128 PROFESSIONAL EPITAPHS. 

At Little Stukely, in Huntingdonshire. On the Rev. J. 
Waterhouse :— 

Sacred to the Memory of the 
Rev. Joshua Waterhouse, B.D., 
Nearly forty years fellow of Catherine Hall, Cambridge. 
Chaplain to his Majesty, Rector of this Parish, and of 
Coton, near Cambridge, who was inhumanly murdered in 
this. Parsonage Hoicse, about ten o'clock on the morning 
oijuly 3rd, 1827. Aged 81. 

Beneath this tomb his mangled body's laid, 
Cut, stabb'd, and murder 'd by Joshua Slade, 
His ghastly wounds a horrid sight to see, 
And hurl'd at once into eternity. 



What faults you've seen in him take care to shun, 
And look at home, — enough there's to be done; 
Death does not always warning give, 
Therefore be careful how you live. 

At Hackney: — 

Sacred to the Memory of 

The Rev. David George Davis, 

of this Parish, 

Who departed this life Jan. 10, 1812, aged 42 years, 

After a long affliction, which he bore 

With manly fortitude and steady faith. 

If dumb too long the drooping mate hath stay'd, 
And left her debt of sacred love unpaid ; 
Blame not her silence, readers, but bemoan, 
And judge, oh judge my feelings by your own, 
To strew fresh laurels let the task be mine, 
A frequent pilgrim at thy sacred shrine ; 



PROFESSIONAL EPITAPHS. 129 

Mine, with true sighs thy absence to bemoan, 
And grave with faithful epitaph the stone : 
Live here on earth, preparing for the skies, 
Then at the last great day together rise ; 
For God forbids the virtuous soul to die, 
Though we awhile may here united lie. 

At Lincoln Cathedral, on the Rev. William Cole, 
who died 1600 : — 

Reader, behold the pious pattern here, 

Of true devotion and of holy fear : 

He sought God's glory, and the church's good, 

Idle idol worship firmly he withstood. 

Yet died in peace, whose body here doth he, 

In expectation of eternity, 
And when the latter trump of heaven shall blow, 
Cole now rak'd up in ashes then shall glow. 

We think that the survivors of the Rev. Stephen 
Penton, a deceased clergyman, ought to have given him 
a different epitaph from the subjoined. Or, if he left it 
behind him, we cannot say that it evinces a very clear 
acquaintance with the Christianity which he professed to 
teach : — 

Here lies what's left of Stephen Penton, rector, 
who, being dead, yet speaketh once for all. My beloved 
Parishioners, since any of you may be the next, let every 
one prepare to be so. To prepare for death devoutly, 
receive the Sacrament often, and make your will while 
you are in good health, that you may have leisure to die 
wisely. And if you hope to die comfortably, you must 
resolve to live righteously. God send us all a happy 
meeting. 

9 



130 PROFESSIONAL EPITAPHS. 

From Godalming Churchyard, Surrey. On the Rev. 
O. Manning, the county historian : — 

This stone 
Is erected as a token of that respect and esteem 
so justly due to the memory of the distinguishedly 
worthy man whose remains are deposited here, 

The Rev. Owen Manning, 

B.D., Canon of Lincoln, Rector of Peperharrow, 

Vicar of this Parish upwards of 37 years ; 

Also F.R.S. and F.S.A. 

He departed this life the 9th of September, 1801, 

in the 81st year of his age. 
All his professional duties were discharged with 

great punctuality and efficacy, and his 

Deportment through life was an amiable example 

of that rectitude of conduct and universal benevolence 

so perfectly consistent with those evangelical truths 

which he had so long, so rationally, and so forcibly 

impressed upon his auditors ! 

Ancient Inscription. In the reign of Mary, 1556, the 
reverend and pious Dr. Rowland Taylor was burnt 
alive on a common within a mile of the town of Hadleigh, 
in Suffolk, for his undaunted defence of the Protestant 
faith, and on this spot where he suffered martyrdom was 
found a stone with the following inscription : — 

D. Taylor in def- 
ending that was gode, 
At this plase 
Left his blod. 

This stone was railed round in the year 1730, and is 



PROFESSIONAL EPITAPHS. 



still, or was a few years since, in a tolerably good state of 
preservation. 

In Chigwell Church, Essex, is the statue of Archbishop 
Harsnett in brass, standing on a pedestal, dressed in 
his episcopalia, with his mitre and crosier; he had been 
vicar of this place. 

On J. Cotton, a New England preacher, died 1652: — 

He was in truth a living Bible endowed with breath, 
where the two Covenants were inscribed ; the Gospel and 
the Law had each their column in his heart. His head 
was the index of the Holy Volume; his name (Cotton) 
the title, and his life a commentary upon the text. Oh, 
what a worthy and precious monument when he shall 
reappear in a new edition, without errata; he will then 
be rebound for Eternity ! 

On — Colnett, Curate of Waltham Abbey for 14 
years : — 

Shall pride a heap of sculptured marble raise, 
Some worthless unmourn'd titled fool to praise, 
And shall we not by one poor gravestone know 
Where pious worthy Colnett sleeps below ? 

Another, in honour of Alphonse-Louis du Plessis, 
Cardinal of Lyons, and brother of Cardinal Richelieu : — 

A pauper born, and vow'd e'en so I die, 
And amidst paupers I would wish to lie. 

On an Abbot, who died in 11 26: — 

He was a lover of peace, I pray now that he may rest in peace. 



PROFESSIONAL EPITAPHS. 



Lincoln Cathedral. On MICHAEL HONEYWOOD, 
D.D.:— 

Here lieth the Body of 

Michael Honeywood, D.D., 

Dean of Lincoln, who died Sept. 7, 1681, aged 85. 

He was Grandchild, and one of the 367 persons 

That Mary,* the Wife of Robert Honeywood, Esq., 

Did see before she died lawfully descended from her; 

That is, 

Sixteen of her own body, 

One hundred and fourteen Grandchildren, 

Two hundred and twenty-eight of the third generation, 

And nine of the fourth. 

On John Ilger, Prior of St. Barbara, Normandy: — 
Aspiring after peace. 

On the Rev. Mr. Beighton, who had been vicar of 
Egham forty-five years : — 

Near half an age, with every good man's praise, 
Among his flock the Shepherd pass'd his days : 
The friend, the comfort of the sick and poor ; 
Want never knock' d unheeded at his door; 
Oft, when his duty call'd, disease and pain 
Strove to confine him, but they strove in vain. 
All moan his death, his virtues long they tried, 
They knew not how they loved him till he died. 
Peculiar blessings did his life attend, 
He had no foe, and Camden was his friend. 

* The Lady Mary Honeywood, mentioned above, died at Marks- 
hall, in Essex, in 1620, aged 92 years, and in the 44th year of her 
widowhood. 



PROFESSIONAL EPITAPHS. 133 

East Bamet, Hertfordshire. On Robert Taylor : — 

Here lies the Body of 

Robert Taylor, 

Late Rector of East Bamet, and Prebendary of 

Lincoln, 

Whose solid and useful Learning, 

Judicious and steady Zeal 

For the Doctrine and Discipline of the Church of 

England, 

Had rendered him valuable 

To all sincere Lovers thereof. 

After he had, 

For above the Space of Forty-two Years, 

Recommended true Piety, 

By his Preaching and Example, 

He left, by his last Will, 

That excellent Book, intituled 

The Whole Duty of Man, 

To every Family in his Parish, 

As an Instance 

Of his dying Care and Concern for their Souls. 

Obiit. Feb. 1 8, 1 7 1 8. JEtat 72. 

In the village of Kirkmichael, was the home scene of 
Bishop Wilson's active benevolence, for more than half 
a century ; he was loved and esteemed for his goodness, by 
all ranks and degrees of men. The end of this good man 
was easy and tranquil, it was like his life devoted to 
prayer and praise, till he fell asleep to wake in Heaven. 
He was attended to the grave by the whole population of 
the Lsle of Man, without a single exception, unless of 



134 PROFESSIONAL EPITAPHS. 

those who by age or sickness were incapacitated. He 
was interred in Kirkmichael Churchyard, at the east end, 
near the chancel, and over his grave a square tombstone 
is placed, surrounded by iron rails, on which is the 
following inscription : — 

On the sides : 

Sleeping in Jesus, here lieth the body of THOMAS 
Wilson, D.D., Lord Bishop of this isle, who died March 
5, 1755, aged 93, and in the 58th year of his consecration. 

At the ends : 

This monument was erected by his Son, Thomas Wil- 
son, a native of this parish, who in obedience to the 
express commands of his father, declines giving him the 
character he justly deserved. 

Let this island speak the rest. 

St. Clement's Danes, Strand. On JOSEPH Miller, 
(by S. Duck) :— 

Here lie the remains of 
Honest Joe Miller, 

Who was 

A tender Husband, 

A sincere friend, 

A facetious Companion, 

And an excellent Comedian. 

He departed this life the 15th day of August, 1738, 

Aged 54 years. 

If Humour, Wit, and Honesty could save 
The Humorous, Witty, Honest, from the grave, 
The Grave had not so soon this tenant found, 
Whom Honesty, and Wit, and Humour crown'd ; 
Or could Esteem and Love preserve our Breath, 
And guard us longer from the stroke of Death, 



PROFESSIONAL EPITAPHS. 135 

The stroke of Death on him had later fell, 
Whom all mankind esteem'd and loved so welL 

Clifton, Gloucestershire. On John Hippisley, Come- 
dian : — 

When the Stage heard that Death had struck her John, 

Gay Comedy her Sables first put on ; 

Laughter lamented that her Fav'rite died, 

And Mirth herself ('tis strange) lay down and cry'd. 

Wit droop' d his head, e'en Humour seem'd to mourn. 

And solemnly sat pensive o'er his urn. 

On Samuel Foote : — 

Foote from this earthly stage, alas ! is hurl'd ; 
Death took him off who took off all the world. 

In Ckiswick Churchyard is Garriclrs Epitaph on Wil- 
liam Hogarth, (died Oct. 29, 1764, aged 67 years,) as 
follows : — 

Farewell, great painter of mankind, 

reach' d the noblest point of art, 
Whose pictured morals charm the mind. 
And thro' the eye correct the heart. 

If genius fire thee, reader, stay ; 

If nature touch thee, drop a tear ; 
If neither move thee, turn away, 

For Hogarth's honour' d dust lies here. 

No marble pomp, or monumental praise, 
My tomb, this dial — epitaph, these I 
Pride and low mouldering clay but ill agree ; 
Death levels me to beggars — Kings to me. 

Alive, instruction was my work each day ; 
Dead, I persist instruction to convey : 
Here, reader, mark, perhaps now in thy prime, 
The stealthy steps of never-standing Time : 
Thou' It be what I am — catch the present hour, 
Employ that well, for that's within thy power. 



136 PROFESSIONAL EPITAPHS. 

The following Epitaph is supposed to have been written 
by Sliakspcare, who died 23rd April, 1616, the anniver- 
sary of his birth, having exactly completed his 52nd year. 
He was buried on the north side of the chancel in the 
church at Stratford-upon-Avon : — 

Good Friend for Iesus Sake forbare 
To diGG T— E Dust EncloAsed HERe. 

T 

Blese be T — E Man Y spares T— Es Stones 

T 

And curst be He y moves my Bones. 

Literal translation : — 

Good friend, for Jesus' sake forbear 
To dig the dust enclosed here ; 
Blest be the man who spares these stones, 
And curst be he that moves my bones ! 

The following lines were written by Ben Jonson, and 
are under the effigy of his companion and friend SHAKS- 
PEARE : — 

The figure that thou here seest put, 

It was for gentle Shakspeare cut, 

Wherein the graver had a strife 

With Nature to outdo the life ; 

O, could he but have drawne his wit 

As well in brass as he has hit 

His face, the print would then surpass 

All that was ever writ in brass ; 

But since he cannot, reader looke, 

Not on his picture, but his booke ! 

Shakspeare's monument at Stratford-ttpon-Avon : — 

Great Homer s birth sev'n rival cities claim, 
Too mighty such monopoly of Fame, 



PROFESSIONAL EPITAPHS. 137 



Yet not to birth alone did Homer owe 

His wondrous worth : what Egypt could bestow, 

tfa all the schools of Greece and Asia join'd, 
Enlarged the immense expansion of his mind, 
X :r yet unrivall'd the Mcsonian strain. 
The British Eagle and the Mantua* Swan 
Tower equal heights. But happier Stratford, thou 

tfa uncontested laurels deck thy brow : 
Thy Bard was thine unschooled, and from thee brought 
More than all Egypt, Greece, or Asia taught ; 
Not Homer's self such matchless honours won, 
The Greek has Rivals, but thy Shakspeare none ! 

The following is a record of the wit, piety, and humanity 
of Mrs. Susannah Hall, daughter of Shakspeare, died 
July, 1649, aged 66, also buried in Stratford Church. The 
lines do not now appear on the stone, but they have been 
preserved by Dugdale, the Antiquarian : — 

Witty above her sexe, but that's not all, 
Wise to Salvation was good Mistress Hall ; 
Something of Shakspeare was in that, but this 
Wholly of Him with whom she's now in bliss, 
rhen, passenger, hast ne'er a teare 
To weep with her that wept with all 
That wept, yet she herselfe to chere 
Them up with comfort's cordiall. 
Her love shall live, her mercy spread, 
When thou hast ne'er a tear to shed ! 



In a small MS. volume of Poems, by Herrick and 
others, in the handwriting of Charles I., preserved in the 
Bodleian library, is an Epitaph ascribed to Shakspeare : — 

When God was pleased, the world unwilling yet, 
Elias James to nature pay'd his debt, 



138 PROFESSIONAL EPITAPHS. 

And here reposeth ; as he lived, he dyde, 

The saying in him strongly verified. 

Such life, such death, then the known truth to tell, 

He lived a godly life, and dyde as well. 

Wm. Shakspeare. 

Sir William Dugdale, in his Visitation Book, de- 
scribes a monument in Tongue Church, Salop, erected 
in memory of Sir Thomas Stanley, who died about 
the year 1600. 

The following verses were made by William Shaks- 
peare, the late famous tragedian : — 

Aske who lyes here, but do not weepe ; 

He is not dead, he doth but sleep ! 

This stony register is for his bones, 

His fame is more perpetual than these stones. 

And his own goodness, with himself being gone, 

Shall live, when earthly monument is none. 

Not monumental stone preserves our fame, 
Nor sky-aspiring pyramids our name; 
The memory of him for whom this stands, 
Shall outlive marble, and defacers' hands ! 
When all to Time's consumption shall be given, 
Stanley, for whom this stands, shall stand in heaven. 

In St. Mary Magdalen Church, Richmond, Surrey, is 
this inscription on a brass tablet : — 

In the earth below this tablet are the remains of James 
Thomson, author of the beautiful poems entitled " The 
Seasons," "The Castle of Indolence," etc., who died at 
Richmond, the 27th of August, and was buried here on 
the 29th, old stile, 1748. The Earl of Buchan, unwilling 
that so good a man and sweet a poet should be without a 



PROFESSIONAL EPITAPHS. 139 

memorial, has denoted the place of his interment for the 
satisfaction of his admirers, in the year of our Lord 1792. 

Underneath is a quotation from the " Winter " : — 

Father of Light and Life ! Thou Good Supreme ! . 
O teach me what is good ! Teach me Thyself I 
Save me from following vanity and vice, 
From every low pursuit ! and feed my soul 
With knowledge, conscious peace, and virtue pure ; 
Sacred, substantial, never-fading bliss. 

Westminster Abbey. On Samuel Butler : — 

Sacred to the Memory of 

Samuel Butler, 

Who was born 

At Strensnam, in Worcestershire, 161 2, 

And died in London, 1680. 

Of Uncommon Wit, Learning, and Probity, 

As admirable for the products of his Genius, 

As Unhappy in the Rewards of them. 

His Satire 

Exposing the Hypocrisy and Wickedness of the Rebels, 

Is such an inimitable Piece, 

That as he was the First, 

He may be said to be also the Last Writer, 

In his peculiar manner, 

That he, 

Who when living wanted almost everything, 

Might not after Death 

Any longer want so much as a tomb. 

John Barber, 

Citizen of London, erect, this Monument, 1721. 



140 PROFESSIONAL EPITAPHS. 

On Butler's monument in Westminster Abbey, by S. 
Westley : — 

Whilst Butler, needy wretch ! was yet alive, 

No gen'rous patron would a dinner give. 

See him, when starved to death, and turn'd to dust, 

Presented with a monumental bust. 

The Poet's fate is here in emblem shown ; 

He ask'd for bread, and he received a stone. 

Epitaph on John Gay, by himself : — 

Life is a jest, and all things show it ; 
I thought so once, but now I know it. 

On Paul Whitehead, Poet and Satirist :— 

Here lies a man misfortune could not bend ; 
Praised as a poet, honour' d as a friend : 
Tho' his youth kindled with the love of fame, 
Within his bosom glow'd a brighter flame. 
Where'er his friends with sharp affliction bled, 
And from the wounded deer the herd was fled, 
Whitehead stood forth — the healing balm applied, 
Nor quitted their distresses — till he died. 

The late Walter Savage Landor left the subjoined 
lines as his own Epitaph : — 

I strove with none, for none were worth my strife ; 

Nature I loved, and after Nature, Art. 
I warm'd both hands before the fire of life ; 

It sinks, and I am ready to depart. 

On Samuel Taylor Coleridge, Poet, who died 25th 
July, 1 834, written by himself : — 

Stop, Christian passer-by ; stop, child of God ! 
And read with gentle breast. Beneath this sod 



PROFESSIONAL EPITAPHS. 141 



A poet lies, or that which once seem'd he ; — 

Oh, lift a thought in prayer for S. T. C. ! 

That he who many a year with toil of breath, 

Found death in life, may here find life in death ! 

Mercy for praise, — to be forgiven, for fame, 

He asked, and hoped through Christ — Do thou the same. 

On James Quin, in Bath Cathedral, by D. Garrick :— 

That tongue, which set the table in a roar, 

And charm 'd the public ear, is heard no more ; 

Closed are those eyes, the harbingers of wit, 

Which spoke, before the tongue, what Shakspeare writ ; 

Cold are those hands, which, living, were stretch'd forth, 

At friendship's call, to succour modest worth. 

Here is James Quin ! Deign, reader to be taught, 

Whate'er thy strength of body, force of thought, 

In Nature's happiest mould however cast, 

" To this complexion thou must come at last." 

Epitaph, written by Herrick, upon Ben J OX SON : — 
Here lies Jonson with the rest 
Of the poets, but the best, 
Reader, wouldst thou more have known ? 
Ask his story, not this stone ; 
That will speak what this can't tell 
Of his glory. So farewell. 

Pennycrick, Mid- Lothian. Here is an obelisk raised to 
the memory of Allan Ramsay, the Poet. 

St. Margaret's, Westminster. On JOSEPH Skelton, 
the merry Poet-Laureate to Henry VII. and VIII., died 
21 June. 1529 : — 

Come, A lee to, and lend me thy Torch 
To find a Church-yard in a Church-porch. 
Povertie and Poetrie this Tomb doth inclose, 
Therefore, Gentlemen, be merry in Prose. 



142 PROFESSIONAL EPITAPHS. 

Translation of the Epitaph on Virgil and TlBULLUS, 
by Lord Byron : — 

He, who sublime in epic numbers roll'd, 
And he who struck the softer lyre of love, 

By Death's unequal hand alike controll'd, 
Fit comrades in Elysian regions move ! 

On Oliver Goldsmith, by D. Garrick : — 

Here lies poet Goldsmith, for shortness called Noll, 
Who wrote like an angel, but talked like poor Poll. 

Scarron, a comic poet of considerable talent, who all 
his life suffered from a complication of diseases, wrote his 
own epitaph in a spirit which, under affected levity, strives 
to conceal the deepest melancholy : — 

Pity, not envy, be the lot 

Of him who lieth here ! I wot 

A thousand deaths he long endured, 

Until by Death his ills were cured. 

Stranger, pass on, and make no riot — 

Take care he slumbers on in quiet, 

Nor break the only sleep ('tis true !) 

Unhappy Scarron ever knew. 

In Halesowen Churchyard, Shropshire, a. small stone 
pillar is erected to the memory of the Poet WILLIAM 
Shenstone, with the following inscription : — 

Whoe'er thou art, with rev'rence tread 
These sacred mansions of the dead ; 
Not that the monumental bust 
Or sumptuous tomb here guards the dust 
Of rich or great, (let wealth, rank, birth, 
Sleep undistinguish'd in the earth.) 
This simple urn records a name 
That shines with most exalted fame. 



PROFESSIONAL EPITAPHS. 143 

Reader ! if genius, taste refined, 

A native elegance of mind ; 

If virtue, science, manly sense ; 

If wit that never gave offence ; 

The clearest head, the tenderest heart, 

In thy esteem e'er claim'd a part, 

Ah, smite thy breast, and drop a tear, 

For know that Shenstone's dust lies here. 

Inscription on the tomb of Bloomfield, in Campion 
Churchyard, Bedfordshire : — 

Here lie 

The Remains of 

Robert Bloomfield. 

He was born at Honington, 

in Suffolk, 
December ill., MDCCLXVI, 

And died at Shefford, 
August XIX., MDCCCXXIII. 

Let his wild native woodnotes tell the rest. 

This stone was erected at the expense of Henry Kaye 
Bonney, D.D., late Archdeacon of Bedford, who also 
composed the inscription. 

On the Poet Bloomfield : — 

Humble he enter'd in the world of strife ; 

Humble he lived, and humble was he bred ; 
Poverty awaited on his steps through life, 

And in Adversity's sad page he deeply read. 

No stately monument for him attracts the eye, 
No flattering epitaphs pronounce his fame ; 

His mould'ring form beneath the sod doth lie ; 
His works alone must tell his humble name. 



III. 



OTttp anD Grotesque. 



The imperious necessity of rhyme is well illustrated in 
the following touching epitaph : — 

Under this stone, aged threescore and ten, 
Lie the remains of William Wood-hex. 

N.B. — For -hen read -cock. Cock wouldn 5 t come in 
rhyme. 

Epitaph : — 

Here lies John Bunn, 

Who was kill'd by a gun. 
His name wasn't Buxx, but his real name was Wood, 
But Wood wouldn't rhyme with gun, so I thought Buxx would. 



Another : 



This little hero that lies here 
Was conquer'd by the diarrheer. 



Another : — 



Here lies the wife of Simox Stokes, 
Who lived and died — like other folks. 



WITTY AXD GROTESQUE. 145 



In St. Giles's Churchyard, Northampton : — 

Here lies a most dutiful daughter, honest and just, 
'Awaiting the resurrection, in hopes to be one of the first. 

On a lady whose name was Stone : — 

Curious enough, we all must 5 
That what was Stone should now be clay, 
More curious still, to own we must, 
That what was Stone will soon be dust. 

In a churchyard near fket lie buried the two 

wives of Tom Sexton, on the tombstone of one is the 
following : — 

Here lies the body of Sarah Sexton, 
She was a wife that never vexed one ; 
I can't say so much for the one at the next stone . 

On a miser named More :— 

Iron was his chest, 
Iron was his door, 
hand was iron, 
And his heart was more. 

On a miser : — 

You'd have me say, Here lies T. L\, 

But I do not believe it ; 
For after death there's something c 

And he's gone to receive it, 

On a miser : — 

Here lies one who for med'cines would no: 

ttte gold, and so his life he lost ; 
I fancy now he'd wish again to live, 
Could he but guess how much his funeral cost. 



146 WITTY AND GROTESQUE, 

On Bancroft, Archbishop of Canterbury, a very 

covetous man : — 

Here lies his grace in cold clay clad, 
Who died for want of what he had. 

On a miser : — 

Reader, beware immoderate love of pelf ; 

Here lies the worst of thieves — who robb'd himself. 

Another :— 

Here lies Old Father Gripe, who never cried, " lam satis ;" 
'Twould wake him did he know you read his tombstone gratis. 

On the monument of a miser : — 

The wretched man who moulders here 

Cared not for soul or body lost, 
But only wept when death drew near, 

To think how much his tomb would cost. 

Epitaphs are frequently fostered on some celebrated 
man : this we find to be Shakspeare's case. The story of 
the epitaph of a rich usurer named Combs is variously 
told. One is supposed to be made extempore at a tavern 
in Stratford : — 

Ten in the hundred the devil allowes, 

But Combs will have twelve he sweares and vowes, 

If any aske who lies in this tombe, 

" Hoh," quoth the devil, "'tis my John-o-Combe." 

In another version the wit is certainly heightened. Mr. 
John Combe has amassed considerable wealth. He was 
Shakspeare's intimate friend. In the gaiety of conversa- 
tion he told the poet that he fancied he intended to furnish 
his epitaph, and since whatever might be said of him after ' 
he was dead must be unknown to him, he requested it 



WITTY AND GROTESQUE. 147 

might be written forthwith. The bard immediately gave 
him the following verse : — 

Ten in the hundred lies here engraved, 

'Tis a hundred to ten his soul is not saved : 

If any man ask who lies in this tomb, 

"Oh ! oh ! " quoth the devil, "'tis my Johx-o-Combe." 

Again we find Peck, in his memoirs of Milton (4to. 1740) 
has introduced another epitaph, which he attributes, though 
it does not appear on what authority, to Shakspeare. It 
is on a Tom-o-Combe, otherwise u Thinbeard" brother to 
the above-named John : — 

Thin in beard, and thick in purse, 
Never man beloved worse, 
He went to the grave with many a curse. 
The devil and he had both one nurse. 

In the choir of Wymondham Church, Norfolk, a gentle- 
man was interred named " None/' who not having been, 
according to expectation, liberal to the convent, one of the 
monks wrote a pointed epitaph in Latin to his memory, 
which, translated by an ancient bard, read thus : — 

Here lyeth None, who worse than none was thought, 
For being none, of none to Christ gave nought. 

At Elsham, Northamptonshire : — 

My name it was Nathaniel Freer, 
I lived and laugh' d, but now I'm here. 
Such as I am, such you must be ; 
Then make your game, and follow me. 

On a writer of long epitaphs : — 

Friend, in your epitaphs I'm grieved 

So very much is said. 
One half will never be believed, 

The other never read. 



148 WITTY AND GROTESQUE. 

In Westminster Abbey. On Samuel Foote, the 
Comedian : — ■ 

Here lies one Foote, whose death may thousands save, 
For death has now one foot within the grave. 

The following epitaph is copied verbatim from a head- 
stone in a graveyard near Philadelphia : — 

In memory of Henry Wang, son of his Father and 
Mother, John and Maria Wang. Died Dec. 31st, 1829, 
aged 1-2 hour. The first deposit of this yard. 

A short-lived joy 
Was our little boy. 
He has gone on high, 
So don't you cry. 

At Pewsey, in Bedfordshire :— *■ 

Here lies the body of 

Lady O'Looney, 

Great-niece of Burke, commonly 

called the Sublime. 

She was 

Bland, passionate, and deeply religious ; 

Also she painted in water colours, 

And sent several pictures to the Exhibition. 

She was first cousin to Lady Jones, 

And of such is the kingdom of heaven. 

On Grose, the Antiquary :— 

Here lies Francis Grose. 

On Thursday, May 12, 1791, 

Death put an end to 

His views and prospects. 



WITTY AND GROTESQUE. 149 



Epitaph on a hermit : — 

For years upon a mountain's brow, •/ 

A hermit lived, the Lord knows how ; 

A robe of sackcloth he did bear, 

And got his food, the Lord knows where. 

Hardships and penance were his lot ; 

He often pray'd, the Lord knows what 

At length this holy man did die ; 

He left this world, the Lord knows why. 

He's buried in this gloomy den, 

And he shall rise, the Lord knows when. 

At Cherening-le-Clay, Dorsetshire. After recording the 
death of his beloved wife, Ann Hughes, the afflicted hus- 
band breaks forth in this pious strain : — 

Who far below this tomb doth rest, 
Has join'd the army of the blest. 
The Lord has ta'en her to the sky, 
The saints rejoice, and so do I. 

Another curious specimen in the Old Grey Friars, 
Edinburgh : — 

Here snug in grave my wife doth lie, 
Now she's at rest, and so am L 

In Lymington Churchyard, Hampshire : — 

Live well, die never ; 
Die well, live for ever. 

On Frederick, Prince of Wales, Father of George 
III. :— 

Here lies Prince Fred, 
Gone down among the dead ; 
Had it been his father, 
We had much rather ; 



150 WITTY AND GROTESQUE. 

\^ Had it been his mother, 

Better than any other ; 
Had it been his sister, 
We ne'er should have miss'd her ; 
Had it been the whole generation, 
Ten times better for the nation ; 
But since it is only Fred, 
There's no more to be said. 

A somewhat similar one in the Churchyard of St. 
Hilary ', Cornwall: — 

Here lies Ned, 

I'm glad he's dead ; 

If there must be another, 

I wish 'twere his brother, 

And for the good of the nation 

His whole generation. 

The following is a beautiful instance of conjugal affec- 
tion : — 

Here lies my dear wife, a sad slattern and shrew ; 
If I said I regretted her, I should lie too. 

Another : — 

When you look on my grave, 

And behold how they wave, 
The cypress, the yew, and the willow, 

You think 'tis the breeze, 

That gives motion to these — 
'Tis the laughter that's shaking my pillow. 

I must laugh when I see, 

A poor insect like thee 
Dare to pity the fate thou must own, 

Let a few moments slide, 

We shall lie side by side, 
And crumble to dust bone for bone. 

Go, weep thine own doom, 

Thou wert born for the tomb — 



WITTY AND GROTESQUE. 151 

Thou hast lived, like myself, but to die. 

Whilst thou pity' st my lot, 

Secure fool, thou'st forgot 
Thou art no more immortal than I. 

Sometimes a salutary truth is rendered almost ridiculous 
by the ingenuity of the lapidary. From Cunwallow, near 
Helstone, Cornwall: — 

Shall wee all die? S*^ 

Wee shall die all. 

All die shall we? 

Die all we shall. 

West Grinstead Churchyard, Sussex : — 

Vast, strong was I, but yet did die, 
And in my grave asleep I lie. 
My grave is stoned round about, 
Yet I hope the Lord will find me out. 

Hadleigh Church, Suffolk: — 

The charnel mounted on this w 

Sets to be seen in funer 

A matron playn domestic 

In housewifery a princip 

In care and payns continu 

Not slow, nor gay, nor prodig \ all. 

Yet neighbourly and hospit 

Her children seven yet living 

Her sixty-seventh year hence did c 

To rest her body natur 

In hope to rise spiritu / 

Ellen, wife of Robert Reson, Alderman of this town. 
Shee deceased January 8th, 1630, and is interred below 
hereby. 

On a solicitor, in Rineton Churchyard, Norfolk : — 

God works a wonder now and then, 

He, though a lawyer, was an honest man. 



152 WITTY AND GROTESQUE. 

In St. MichaePs Churchyard, Coventry. On Mrs. 
Woodier : — 

She was 

But words are wanting 

To say what. 
Look what a wife should be, 

And she was that. 

The Greeks occasionally indulged in satiric inscrip- 
tions. Simonides composed an epitaph for TlMOCREON, 
a wrestler and satirical rhymester : — 

Here lies TlMOCREON the Rhodian, who spent his days 
in eating, drinking, and slandering everybody ! 

The line hereunder was written upon one Trivulcius, 
a man of restless and adventurous disposition : — 
Here rests he who never rested ! 
Another : — 

I was well. I took physic. 
I am here ! 

In Si. Peter's Churchyard, Isle of Thane t: — 

Against his will 

Here lies George Hill, 

Who from a cliff 

Fell down quite stiff. 
When it happen'd is not known, 
Therefore not mention'd on this stone. 

In St. James's Church, Piccadilly, London. On TOM 
D'Urfey : — 

Here lies the Lyric, who, with tale and song, 
Did life to threescore years and ten prolong ; 
His tale was pleasant, and his song was sweet, 
His heart was cheerful, but his thirst was great. 
Grieve, reader, grieve that he too soon grew old — 
His song is ended, and his tale is told 



WITTY AND GROTESQUE. 153 



In the Churchyard of St. Mary, Islington : — 

Censure not rashly, though nature's apt to halt, 
Xo woman's born that dies without a fault. 



On John Hill, at Manchester; — 

Here lies John Hill, 

A man of skill, 
His age was five times ten ; 

He ne'er did good, 

Xor ever would, 
Had he lived as long again. 

On Miss Arabella YOUNG, a loquacious lady 

Here rests, in silent clay, 
Miss Arabella Young, 

Who on the 21st of May, 
Began to hold her tongue. 

On a workhouse pauper : — 

Thorp's 
Corpse. 

On an infant : — 

She never told her love. 

On two lovers : — 

The first deceased ; he for a little tried 

To live without her — liked it not — then died 

On a wife : — 

She once was mine ; 

And now 
To thee, O Lord, I her resign ; 
And am your obedient humble servant, 

Robert Kemp. 



154 WITTY AND GROTESQUE. 

From a churchyard in Hereford : — 

Woman. 
Grieve not for me, my husband dear, 
I am not dead, but sleeping, here ; 
With patience wait — prepare to die — 
And in short time you'll come to I. 

Ma?i. 
I am not grieved, my dearest life, 
Sleep on — I've got another wife ; 
Therefore, I cannot come to thee, 
For I must go and live with she. 

In Halstead Churchyard, Essex, on an iron tomb : — 

Silence. 

On a talkative old maid (1750) : — 

Beneath this silent stone is laid 

A noisy, antiquated maid, 

Who from her cradle talk'd till death, 

And ne'er before was out of breath. 

In Matharn Churchyard, Monmouthshire. On JOHK 
Lee : — 

Here lies John Lee, that good old man ; 

We ne'er will see him more. 
He used to wear an old brown coat, 

All button' d down before. 

In Dawlish Churchyard, Devonshire, and at Kings- 
bridge. On a man who was too poor to be buried with hi- 
relations in the church : — 

Here I lie at ye church door, 
Here I lie, because I'se poor. 
Ye furder you go, ye more you pay, 
Here I lie as warm as they. 



WITTY AND GROTESQUE. i$5 



Same place : — 

Who lies here ? who do you think ? 
Old John Jackson. Make him drink ! 
Make a dead man drink ! for why? 
When he was alive, he was always dry. 

In Old St. Pancras, Middlesex : — 

I am here, I am there, do you know where ? 
When I was alive, 'twas that made me stare. 

On Mr. Box : — 

Here lies one Box within another, 
The one of wood was very good, 
We cannot say so much for t'other. 

In Cheltenham Churchyard : — 

Here lies the body of Molly Dickie, the Wife of Hall 
Dickie, tailor. 

Two great physicians first 
My loving husband tried, 

To cure my pain — 

In vain, 
At last he got a third, 
And then I died. 

On Sir Thomas Woodcock, Lord Mayor of London, 
1405 :— 

Hie jacet, Tom Shorthose, 

Sine tomb, sine sheets, sine riches ; 
Ni vixit sine gown, 

Sine cloak, sine shirt, sine breeches. 



156 WITTY AND GROTESQUE. 



From the Greek. (Cowper.) On an old bachelor :- 

At threescore winters' end I died, 

A cheerless being, sole and sad ; 
The nuptial knot I never tied, 
And wish my father never had. 

On an Irish chairman : — 

Weep, Irish lads, all true and fair men ; 

Here rests the leader of the chairmen. ' 

Reader, rejoice that here lies Pat, 

For was he up he'd lay you flat. 

In fame, you'll never see his brother, 

It reach'd from one pole to the other ; 
And would you know him when an angel fair, 
You've nothing more to do than call, Chair ! chair ! 

On a stump orator : — 

Here lies a witless dog, who had the wit 
To make men think he had no lack of it. 
As his own tongue, his life was always loose ; 
But his loose tongue his looseness did excuse. 
He nothing knew, yet men believed he taught ; 
His words were many, but their value nought. 
The fools who listen' d thought his notes were gold ; 
And, to speak truth, for that they oft were sold. 
He was as coarse a specimen of clay - 
As ever clogged a hole, or stopp'd the way. 
His name was Mudd, his ways were in the slime, 
While life's oil'd wheels ran o'er the shores of time. 
But when death's drought came on, as come it must, 
He dried into a little heap of dust. 

On the Earl of Kildare, by Dean Swift : — 

Who kill'd Kildare ? Who dared Kildare to kill ? 
Death kill'd Kildare — who dare kill whom he will. 



WITTY AND GROTESQUE. 157 



In a Wiltshire Churchyard : — 

Beneath this steane lies our deare child, who's gone from we, 

For evermore unto Eternity, 

Where us do hope, that we shall go to he, 

But him can ne'er go back to we. 

Epitaph on the death of Stephen Remnant, Esq., of 

Woolwich : — 

Here's a remnant of life, and a remnant of death, 

Taken off both at once in a remnant of breath, 

To mortality this gives a happy release, 

For what was the remnant proves now the whole piece. 

Broom Churchyard, Bedfordshire. The following is a 
family epitaph : — ■ 

God be praised ! 
Here is Mr. Dudley, Senior, 

And Jane his wife also, 
Who while living was his superior, 

But see what death can do ; 
Two of his sons also lie here, 
One Walter, t'other Joe, 
They all of them went in the year 
15 10 below. 

Tiverton Church, Devonshire. On the Earl of Pevon- 
SHIRE, and his wife : — 

Ho ! ho ! who lies here ? 

'Tis I, the Earl of Devonshire, 

With Kate, my wife, to me full dear; 

We lived together fifty-five year. 

That we spent we had, 

That we left we lost, 

That we gave we have. 



158 WITTY AND GROTESQUE. 

San Salvador, Oviedo. At the entrance of the Church 
at this place, is a most remarkable tomb, erected by a 
prince named Silo, with the following curious inscription, 
which may be read 270 different ways, beginning with the 
capital (S) in the centre : — 

Silo Princeps Fecit. 
On the tomb are likewise inscribed these letters : — 
H. E. S. S. S. S. T. L. 

The meaning of which is Hie est Silo situs, sit sibi terra 
levis. In English, Here Silo lies buried ; may the earth 
be light upon him. 



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At Fosbrooke, in Northumberland : — 

Here lieth Matthew Hollingshead, 
Who died from cold caught in his head. 
It brought on fever and rheumatiz, 
Which ended me — for here I is. 



WITTY AND GROTESQUE. 159 

Epitaph said to have been written in pencil on a tomb- 
stone, by Lord Byron, when a boy : — 

Beneath these green trees, rising to the skies, 
The planter of them, Isaac Greentree lies ; 
A time shall come when these green trees shall fall, 
And Isaac Greentree rise above them all. 

In a Sussex Churchyard : — 

Richard Basset, the old clerk of this parish, who had 
continued the office of clerk and sexton for the space of 
forty-three years, whose melody was warbled forth as if 
he had been thumped on the back with a stone, was 
buried on the 20th September, 1866. 

Epitaph, from the French : — 

Careless and thoughtless all my life, 
Stranger to every source of strife ; 
And deeming each grave sage a fool, 
The Law of Nature was my rule, 
By which I learnt to duly measure 
My portion of desire and pleasure. 
'Tis strange that here I lie, you see ; 

For Death must have indulged a whim, 
At any time t' have thought of me, 

Who never once did think of him. 

In Guilsfield Churchyard. On David Williams 
'1 769:— 

Under this yew-tree, 
Buried would he be, 
Because his father — he 
Planted this yew-tree. 



160 WITTY AND GROTESQUE. 

The following epitaph may be seen in the Cemetery of 
Mont mart re : — 

Poor Charles ! 

His innocent pleasure was to row on the Water. 

Alas! 

He was the victim of this fatal desire, 

Which conducted him to the tomb. 

Reader ! Consider that the water in which he was 

drowned 
Is the amassed tears of his relatives and friends. 

At St. Ives, Cornwall, is a monument on the family of 
SlSE, which insipidly informs us : — 

Neere to this bed sixe Sises late were laid, 
Four hopefull sons, ye grandsire, and a maid. 

On Sir John Guise:— 

Here lies Sir John Guise : 
No one laughs, no one cries ; 
Where he's gone, and how he fares, 
No one knows,, and no one cares. 



Another :- 



Here Henry Roper lies in dust ; 
His stature small, his mincUvas jusf. 



Another, to the memory of Margaret, the Wife of 
Hugh Wright, is curious for its brevity and ingenious- 
ness : — 

(Eye) findeth; (Heart) chooseth; (Knot) bindeth; (Death) 
looseth. 



WITTY AND GROTESQUE. 161 

The following epitaph was proposed to be placed in 
Bath Abbey : — 

These walls, adorn' d with monumental bust, 
Show how Bath waters serve to lay the dust. 

In Horsleydown Church, Cumberland : — 

Here lie the bodies 
Of Thomas Bond, and Mary his Wife. 
She was temperate, chaste, and charitable ; 
But, 
she was proud, peevish, and passionate. 
She was an affectionate wife, and a tender mother ; 
But, 
her husband and child, whom she loved, 
seldom saw her countenance without a disgusting frown, 
whilst she received visitors, whom she despised, with 
an endearing smile. 
Her behaviour was discreet towards strangers ; 
But, 
imprudent in her family. 
Abroad, her conduct was influenced by good breeding ; 
But, 
at home, by ill temper. 
She was a professed enemy to flattery, 
and was seldom known to praise or commend ; 
But, 
the talents in which she principally 
excelled 
were difference of opinion, and discovering 
flaws and imperfections. 
She was an admirable economist, 

n 



162 WITTY AND GROTESQUE. 

and, without prodigality, 
dispensed plenty to every person in her family ; 

But 

would sacrifice their eyes to a farthing candle. 

She sometimes made her husband happy 

with her good qualities ; 

But, 

much more frequently miserable with 

her many failings ; 

Insomuch, that in thirty years' cohabitation 

he often lamented 

that, maugre all her virtues, 

he had not, in the whole, enjoyed two 

years of matrimonial comfort. 

At length, 

finding she had lost the affection of her 

husband, as well as the regard of her neighbours, 

family disputes having been divulged by servants, 

she died of vexation, July 20, 1768, 

aged 48 years. 

Her worn-out husband survived her four 

months and two days, 

and departed this life Nov. 28th, 1768, 

in the 54th year of his age. 

William Bond, Brother to the deceased, 

erected this stone 

as a weekly monitor to the surviving 

wives of this parish, 

that they may avoid the infamy 

of having their me7nories handed down to 

posterity 

with a patch-work character. 



WITTY AND GROTESQUE. 163 



In a churchyard at Cork : — 

Here lies Pat Steele, 

That's very true ! 
Who was he? What was he? 

What's that to you? 
He lies here because he 

Is dead — nothing new ! 

On old Jeremiah, who died in Gray's Inn Lane Work- 
house : — 

Old Jerry 's dead a.t last (God rest his soul), 
His body 's shovell'd down some workhouse hole, 
Or else to Doctors given for dissection. 
His spirit 's gone to Old Nick for correction, 
And his old clothes to spread some new infection ! 

In Bampton, Devonshire: — 

In memory of the clerk's son, 

Bless my i, i, i, i, i, i, 
Here I lies. 
In a sad pickle, 
Killed by icicle, 

In the year of Anno Domini, 1776. 

In Edwalton Churchyard, Notts. Date, 1741. On 
Mrs. Rebecca Freeland : — 

She drank good ale, strong punch, and wine, 
And lived to the age of ninety-nine. 



Another : — 



Here lies poor Thomas and his wife, 

Who led a pretty jarring life ; 

But all is ended — do you see, 

He holds his tongue, and so does she. 



1 64 WITTY AND GROTESQUE. 

In a churchyard near Folkestone : — 

This stone is sacread to the memory of poor old Muster 
Thomas Boxer, who was loste in the goud boate Rouver. 
just coming home with much fishes, got near Torbay, in 
the year of hour Lord 1722. 

Pray, goud fishermen, stop and drop a tear, 
For we have lost his company here, 
And where he's gone we cannot tell, 
But we hope far from the wicked Bell.* 

The Lord be with him. 

Copied from the San Diego Herald: — 

Here lies the body of Jeems Humbrick 

who was accidentally shot 

• on the bank of the pacus river 

by a young man 

he was accidentally shot with one of the large coifs 

revolver with no stopper for the cock to rest on it was 

one of the old fashion kind brass mounted and of such is 

the kingdom of heaven. 

At St. Lawrence's Church, Isle of Wight : — 

Sacred to the Memory of 

William Jones, 

of Kensington Gore ; 

Who met his mitimely death by an accident, 

near this spot, on the 26th ot August, 

1826, in the 91st year 

of his age. 

* A public-house. 



WITTY AND GROTESQUE. 165 



c/ 



One choked with a bit of bread : — 

By many folks it hath been said, 
The only staff of life is bread, 
How could it then stop Simon's breath. 
And be the occasion of his death ? 
One little morsel proved his last, . 
Which he devour' d in so much haste, 
That angry Death in passion swore 
He ne'er should swallow one bit more. 



In a churchyard in Dorchester : — 

Frank from his Betty snatch'd by Fate 
Shows how uncertain is our state. 
He smiled at morn — at noon lay dead, 
Flung from a horse that kick'd his head; 
But though he's gone, from tears refrain, 
At Judgment he'll get up again. 

A Highland Epitaph : — 

Here lies interr'd a man of micht, 

His name is Macom Downie ; 
He lost his life one market nicht 

By falling off his pownie. 

On a fool who was shot through the head in a duel : — 

Here lies poor Tommy ; Nature at his end 
Thought 'twas but right for once to stand his friend; 
For in the shades below he now can say, 
"At least there's something in my head to-day." 



On John Ross, Jersey :- 



Here lies John Ross, 
Kick'd by a hoss. 



166 WITTY AND GROTESQUE. 

In a churchyard in Staffordshire, and hardly to be sur- 
passed in terse and simple pathos : — 

This turf has drunk a widow's tear, 
Three of her husbands slumber here. 

It may be interesting to state that the tearful widow 
was still living with a fourth partner. 

In Ballypooren Churchyard. On TEAGUE O'Brian, 
written by himself : — 

Here I at length repose, 
My spirit now at aise is, 

With the tips of my toes 

And the point of my nose, 
Turn'd up to the roots of the daisies. 

In the old Churchyard of Belturbet, Ireland; — 

Here lies John Higley, whose father and mother 

were drowned on their passage from America. Had both 

lived, they would have been buried here ! 

In Belbroughton Churchyard, Worcestershire. On 
Richard Philpots, of the Bell Inn, Bell End, who 
died in 1766: — 

L/ To tell a merry or a wondrous tale 

Over a cheerful glass of nappy ale, 
In harmless mirth was his supreme delight, 
To please his guests or friends by day or night. 
But no fine tale, how well soever told, 
Could make the tyrant Death his stroke withhold. 
That fatal stroke has laid him here in dust, 
To rise again once more with joy we trust. 
On the upper portion of this monument are carved, in full 
relief, a punch bowl, a flagon, and a bottle, emblems of the 
deceased's faith (we presume), and of those pots which 
Mr. Philpots delighted to fill. 



WITTY AND GROTESQUE. 167 



On Betsy Ooden : 



Another :- 



Here lies Elizabeth 
Betsy Ooden, 

Her lived no longer 
Coe her — cooden. 



The horse bit the parson ! *-*' 

How came it to pass ? 
The horse heard the parson say, 

"All flesh is grass." 

Another : — 

An honest fellow here is laid, 

His debts in full he always paid ; 

And, what's more strange, the neighbours tell us 

He brought back borrow' d umbrellas. 

From New Jersey : — 

Weep, stranger, for a father spill' d 

From a stage coach, and thereby kiH'd ; 

His name was John Sykes, a maker of sassengers, 

Slain with three other outside passengers. 

At Portsmouth, the following may be found on the 
tombstone of a carpenter, inscribed by his widow : — 

Here lies Jemmy Little, a carpenter industrious, 
A very good-natured man, but somewhat blusterous. 
When that his little wife his authority withstood, 
He took a little stick and bang'd her as he would. 
His wife, now left alone, her loss does so deplore, 
She wishes J EMMY back to bang her a little more ; 
For now he's dead and gone this fault appears so small, 
A little thing would make her think it was no fault at all. 



1 68 WITTY AND GROTESQUE. 



In Creton Churchyard, Salop : — 

On a Thursday she was born ; 
On a Thursday made a bride ; 
On a Thursday put to bed ; 
On a Thursday broke her leg ; and 
On a Thursday died. 



Waltham Abbey, 1746:— 



Your smiles I courte not, 
Nor your frowns I feare ; 
My toils are ended ; 
My head lies quiet here. 



Same place :- 



Too virtuous, kind, and just, with mortals to remain, 
God thought fit, by the explosion of the mills, to take him back 
again. 

Same place : — 

In the cold shades of night, lies prostrate here 
A loving husband, and a wife most dear ; 
The first by sudden death did lead the way, 
And she by lightning quickly fell a prey. 

At St. Mary Overey, Borough. On a stone under the 
arms of the Grocers' Company are these lines on one who 
followed that trade : — 

Weep not for him, he is gone before, 

To Heaven, where Grocers there are many more ! 

Same church. On Susanna Barford : — 

Such grace the King of kings bestow' d upon her. 
That now she lives with him a maid of honour ! 



WITTY AND GROTESQUE. 169 



In a churchyard near Birmingham : — 

Oh, cruel Death, why wert thou so unkind, 

To take the one, and leave the other behind ? 

Thou shouldst have taken both or neither, 

Which would have been more agreeable to the survivor. 

At Richmond, Yorkshire : — 

Here lies the body of William Wix, 

One thousand, seven hundred, and sixty-six. 

The following may be seen in a churchyard in Essex: — 

Weep not for me, my husband dear, 
Keep it in mind that I lies here, 
And have compassion on the nine 
Motherless children I left behind. 

Another : — 

Underneath this turf doth lie, 
Back to back, my Wife and I. 
Generous stranger, spare the tear, 
For could she speak, I cannot hear. 
Happier far than when in life, 
Free from noise, and free from strife. 
When the last trump the air shall fill, 
If she gets up, I'll ev'n lie still. 

At Egam, North Derbyshire : — 

Here lise ye bodies of Ann Sellars, buried by this 
stone, who died on Jcmitary 13th day, 1731. Likewise 
here lise dear Isaac Sellars, my husband and my right, 
who was buried on that same day come seven years, 1 738. 

In seven years' time there comes a change, 
Observe, and here you'll see, 
.. On that same day come seven years 
My husband's laid by me. 



170 WITTY AND GROTESQUE. 



At Bideford Church, Devon : — 

The wedding day appointed was, 

And wedding clothes provided, 
And ere that day did come, alas ! 

He sicken' d and he die did ! 

Grantham Churchyard, Lincolnshire : — 

John Palfreyman, who lyeth here, 
Was aged four and twenty year ; 
And near this place his mother lies, 
Also, his father, when he dies ! 

At Wood Ditton. On a gravestone in which is fixed 
an iron dish, according to the instructions of the de- 
ceased : — 

On Wm. Symons, ob. 1753, at. 80. 

Here lies my corpse, who was the man 
That loved a sop in the dripping pan ; 
But now, believe me, I am dead, 
See how the pan stands at my head. 
Still for the sops till the last I cried, 
But could not eat, and so I died. 
My neighbours, they perhaps will laugh 
When they do read my epitaph. 



At Welshpool:— 

Two lovely babes lie buried here, 
As ever bless'd their parents dear ; 
But they were seized with ague fits, 
And here they lie as dead as nits. 

In Lilling ton Churchyard : — 

I poorly lived ; I poorly died ; 

And when I was buried, nobody cried. 



WITTY AND GROTESQUE. 171 

On a man named FlSH : — 

Worms bait for fish ; but here's a sudden change. 
Fish 's bait for worms — is not that passing strange? 

On an infant three months old : — 

Since I am so quickly done for, 
I wonder what I was begun for. 

On William Quick : — 

Here lies the quick and dead. 

In Banbury Churchyard : — 

Here do lye our dear boy, 

Whom God hath tain from we, 

And we do hope that us shall go to he, 

For he can never come back again to we. 

In a churchyard in Sussex: — 

In memory of Captain Underwood, 
who was drowned. 

Here lies free from blood and slaughter, 
Once Underwood — now under water. 

Tver, Buckinghamshire. On R. Carter : — 

An honest man ; a friend sincere ; 

What more can be said ? He's buried here. 

Edworth, Bedfordshire : — 

Here lies father, and mother, and sister, and I. 

We all died within the space of one year. 
They all be buried at Whimble, except I, 

And I be buried here. 



172 WITTY AND GROTESQUE. 



In Plymouth Old Churchyard : — 

Here lies the body of 

Thomas Vernon, 

The only surviving Son 

of 

Admiral Vernon. 

In Luton Church : — 

Here lies the body of Thomas Proctor, 
Who lived and died without a doctor. 

In St. Paul's, Covent Garden : — 

On Mr. James Worsdale, Painter and Author, com- 
posed by himself : — 

Eager to get, but not to keep the pelf, 
A friend to all mankind — except himself. 

In Mamhall Churchyard, Dorsetshire. On a tomb 
erected to the memory of Robert and Mary Moore, 
and their daughter Frances, dated 1670 : — 

See what Death with 's spade hath done to wee, 
Having new planted both bud, branch, and tree. 

On a Miss Long, a most beautiful young lady : — 

Though long, yet short, 
Though short, yet pretty long. 

At St Alb arts :— 

Sacred to the memory of Miss MARTHA Gwynn, 
Who was so very pure within, 
She burst the outer shell of sin, 
And hatch' d herself a cherubim. 



WITTY AND GROTESQUE. 173 



In a cemetery near Salisbury. On Richard Button: — 

Oh ! Sun, Mootj, Stars, and ye celestial Poles, 
Are graves then dwindled into Button-holes f 

Brighton Old Churchyard : — 

His fate was hard, but God's decree, 
Was drown'd he should be in the sea. 

In Walton Churchyard, Norfolk : — 

Underneath this sod lies John Round, 
Who was lost in the sea, and never was found. 

At the same place : — 

Here lies Matthew Mud. Death did him no hurt, 
When alive he was Mud, and now dead he's but dirt 

Another : — 

Here lies, cut down like unripe fruit, 
The wife of Master Amos Shute, 
She died of drinking too much coffee, 
Anno Domini Eighteen Forty. 

In Hackney Churchyard. On one Peter Stiller :— 

As still as Death poor Peter lies, 

And Stiller when alive was he, 
Still not without a hope to rise, 

Though Stiller then he still will be. 

At Bury St. Edmund's, and at Painswick, Gloucester- 
shire : — 

Here lies Jane Hitchen, who when her glass was spent. 
Kickt up her heels, and away she went. 



174 WITTY AND GROTESQUE. 



Strange Epitaph : — 

The following inscription is actually to be found in an 
ancient cemetery in Rockville Eastern Massachusetts : — 

In memory of Jane Bent, 

Who kick'd up her heels and away she went. 

At Massachusetts, America ; — 

I came in the morning — it was Spring, 

And I smiled ; 
I walk'd out at noon — it was Summer, 

And I was glad ; 
I sat me down at even — it was Autumn, 

And I was sad ; 
I laid me down at night— -it was Winter, 

And I slept. 

In Stepney Churchyard : — 

Here Thomas Sapper lies interr'd, Ah why ? 
Born in New England, did in London die ; 
Was the third son of eight, begot upon 
His mother Martha, by his father John ; 
Much favour'd by his Prince he 'gan to be, 
But nipt by death at the age of twenty-three. 
Fatal to him was that we small-pox name, 
By which his mother and two brethren came 
Also to breathe their last, nine years before, 
And now have left their father to deplore 
The loss of all his children, with his wife, 
Who was the joy and comfort of his life. 

Same place : — 

Here lieth R. Crouch, in expectation of the last day. 
What sort of a man he was, that day will discover. 



WITTY AND GROTESQUE. 175 

Epitaph in a Cornish Churchyard : — 

In this ere graave ee zee bevore ee, ^-^ 

Is berred up a desmal stoery 

A young maiden she wor crost in love 

And tooken to the realms above 

But he that crost her I shud zay 

Desarves to go the toyther way. 

On Thomas Huddlestone :— 

Here lies Thomas Huddlestone. Reader, don't smile, 
But reflect, as this tombstone you view, 
That Death, who kill'd him, in a very short while 
Will huddle a stone upon you. 

At Cheltenham : — 

Here lies I and my three daughters, 
Kill'd by drinking the Cheltenham waters ; 
If we had stuck to our Epsom salts, 
We'd not been a lying in these here vaults. 

Sevenoaks Churchyard, Kent ; — 

Grim Death took me without any warning, 

I was well at night, and dead at nine in the morning. 



At Dijon. On Le Menestrier : — 

Jean le Menestrier lieth here : 
Lo ! having number'd his seventieth year, 
He tightens his stirrups, his spurs he plies, 
And starts away for Paradise. 

At Bide ford, Devon ; — 

Here lie two brothers, by misfortune surrounded, 
One died of his wounds, and the other was drownded. 



176 WITTY AND GROTESQUE. 



On William Willing :— 

Death will'd that Willing here should lie, 
Although unwilling he to die. 

Westminster Abbey. On Ephraim Chambers (by 

himself) : — 

Heard of by many, 

Known to few, 

Who led a Life between Fame and Obscurity, 

Neither abounding nor deficient in Learning, 

Devoted to Study, but as a Man 

Who thinks himself bound to all Offices of Humanity, 

Having finished his Life and his Labour together, 

Here desires to rest, 

Ephraim Chambers, 

Obiit May 15th, 1740. 

On Thomas Crabtree, i860 :— 

Short was my stay in this vain world, 

All but a seeming laughter ; 
Therefore mark well my words and ways, 

For thou com'st posting after. 

Another, dated 1672, to the memory of George 
Jackson, is certainly more loyal than religious : — 

To King and State, in spite of fate, 

I have been true and just ; 
For all which pain I shall obtain 

A crown that shall not rust. 



Not more satisfactory is the following :— 

Here lies the body of John Drake, 
Who never did his friend forsake ; 



WITTY AXD GROTESQUE. 177 

Houses and land he left to be 
A free schoolmaster's salary ; 
He lived and died without a mate, 
And yielded to the laws of fate. 

The following conveys a poor compliment to the 
deceased's husband : — 

Maria Brown, wife of Timothy Brown, aged 
eighty years. She lived with her husband fifty years, and 
died in the confident hope of a better life. 

Another reads thus : — 

Here lies Bernard Lightfoot, who was accidentally 
i in the forty-fifth year of his age. This monument 
erected by his grateful family. 

e is a tablet in a churchyard in Haddingtonshire, 
Scotland, professed to be erected by a sorrowing husband 
fe as a testimony of his filial regard. 

In Homsrsfield Churchyard, Suffolk. On Robert 
Crytoft, died 18 10, aged 90 : — 

As I walk'd by myself, I talk'd to myself, 

And thus myself said to me : 
Look to thyself, and take care of thyself, 

For nobody cares for thee* 

So I turn'd to myself, and I answer'd m;> 

In the self-same reverie : 
Look to thyself, or look not to thyself, 

The self-same thing will be. 

In the Churchyard of Dunk eld. On Margery Scott, 

12 



i;3 WITTY AXD GROTESQUE. 

who lived single 25 years, married 50 years, and was a 
widow 50 years, died 1738 : — 

Stop, reader, here, until my life you've read. 
The living may gain knowledge from the dead ; 
Five times five years I've lived a virgin's life, 
Ten times five years I was a married wife ; 
Ten times five years a widow grave and chaste ; 
Now, wearied of this mortal life I rest. 
I from my cradle to my grave have seen 
Eight mighty kings of Scotland and a queen ; 
Four times five years the Commonwealth I saw, 
Ten times the subjects rise against the law ; 
Twice did I see old prelacy put down, 
And twice the cloak did sink beneath the gown : 
An end of Stuart's race I saw, — nay, more, 
I saw my country sold for English ore ; 
Such dissolution in my time has been, 
That I've an end of all perfection seen. 

In Nay land Churchyard, Suffolk : — 

Here sleepeth in dust, 

Ned Alston, 

The notorious Essex Highwayman, 

Ob. Anno Dom. 1760. 

^Etat 40. 

My friends, here I am— Death at last has prevail'd, 

And for once all my projects are baffled, 
'Tis a blessing to know, tho', when once a man's nail d, 

He has no further dread of the scaffold. 

My life was cut short by a shot thro' the head, 

On his Majesty's highway at Dalston — 
So as now ' Number One ' 's numbered one of the dead, 

All's one //"he's Alston or All-stone. 



WITTY AXD GROTESQUE, 



179 



Another : — 

Hope, fear, false joy, and trouble, 
Are the four winds which daily toss this bubble. 
His breath's a vapour, and his life's a span. 
'Tis glorious misery to be born a man. 



Another in Milton Churchyard, Kent, and in Bcngeo 
Old Churchyard, Hertfordshire : — 

This world's a city full of crooked streets ; 
Death is the market-place where each one meets. 
If life were only merchandize to buy, 
The rich would live — the poor alone would die. 

Dirge to the memory of Miss Ellen Gee, of Kew, 
who died in consequence of being stung in the eye : — 



u 



Peerless yet hapless maid of Q, 

Accomplish' d L N G, 
Never again shall I and U 

Together sip our T. 

For, ah ! the Fates, I know not Y, 
Sent 'midst the flowers a B, 

Which ven'mous stung her in the I, 
So that she could not C. 

L. N. exclaim' d, Vile spiteful B, 

If ever I catch U 
On jess'mine, rosebud, orsweetP, 

I'll change your stinging Q. 

I'll send you, like a lamb or U, 

Across the Atlantic C, 
From our delightful village Q, 

To distant O Y E. 

A stream runs from my wounded I, 
Salt as the briny C, 



; As rapid as the X or Y, 
The O I O or D. 

Then fare-thee-well, insatiate B, 
Who stung, nor yet knew Y, 

Since not for wealthy Durham's C 
Would I have lost my I. 

They bear with tears fair L N G. 

In funeral R A, 
A clay-cold corse now doom'd toB, 

While I mourn her D K. 

Ye nymphs of Q, then shun each B, 

List to the reason Y : 
For should a B C U at T, 

He'll surely sting your I. 

Now in a grave L deep in Q, 
She's cold as cold can B, 

Whilst robins sing upon A U 
Her dirge and LEG. 



i8o WITTY AND GROTESQUE. 



In Broom Churchyard the following Epitaph may be 
seen : — 

In memory of 
Joseph and Walter Dudley, Brothers, 
Both of this Parish, 
Who left this for a better world, 



Jan. 1 8, 1797. Anno u^Etat, \ 



5- 



Reader, beneath this tombstone moulder 

The trunks of Joe and Wat ; 
Wat, youngest ; Joe, the elder ; 

Joe, lean ; and Walter, fat. 

Till late these youngters were of Broom, 

But Wednesday last 'twas found 
That death from Broom had made them brush, 

And swept them under ground. 

In Beckley Church, and also in Newport Churchyard, 
Gloucestershire, (written by Swift) : — 

Here lies the Earl of Suffolk's fool, 

Men called him Dicky Pearce ; 
His folly served to make folk's laugh, 

When wit and mirth were scarce. 

Poor Dick, alas ! is dead and gone, 

What signifies to cry? 
Dickies enough are left behind 

To laugh at by-and-by. 

At Ditchington Churchyard : — 

Without a home for ever, senseless, dumb, 
Dust only now contains this silent tomb. 
Where 'twas I lived or died, it matters not ; 
To whom related, or of whom begot. 



WITTY AND GROTESQUE. 181 



I was, but am not : ask no more of me ; 
Tis all I am, and all that you must be. 

On a tombstone in New Jersey is the following signifi- 
cant epitaph : — 

Julia Adams, 

Died of thin shoes, April 17th, 1839, aged 19 years. 

If the truth were always spoken, there would be many 
epitaphs of the same description. 

At Wolstanton : — 

Some have children, some have none ; 
Here lies the mother of twenty-one. 

On an epicure : — 

At length, my friends, the feast of life is o'er : 
I've eat sufficient — I can drink no more. 
My night is come ; I've spent a jovial day : 
"Tis time to part— but, oh! what is to pay? 

In Merrow Church, Surrey : — 

In memory of Sarah Battay, wife of Thomas 
Battay, who died the 6th of June, 1799, aged 103 
years. 

By St. David's rule our ages then 
Were number' d threescore years and ten ; 
But if to fourscore years we gain, 
Our labour then but grief and pain. 
At ninety years I do depend 
To make a good and holy end ; 
But at one hundred years and three 
The grave's the bed that best suits me. 



iS2 WITTY AND GROTESQUE. 



The two next epitaphs relate to Fees, and are curious 
compositions : — 

Chart- Magna Church, Kent : — 

In memory of Ann West, widow, of this parish, died 
March 10, 1800, aged 59 years, 

The Reverend Rector being a hard 

Austerely rigid man, 
Within the walls of this churchyard 

He will not let me stand, 
Unless a fee be paid to him, 

Two shillings and two pounds, 
So to the memory of a friend 

I here am now set down. 

At West Allington, Devon : — 

Here lyeth the Body of Daniel Jeffrey, 

the son of Michael Jeffrey and Joau his Wife. 

He was buried ye 22 day of September, 1746, 

in ye 18th year of his age. 

This Youth, When In his sickness lay, 

did for the Minister send, x that he would 

Come and With him Pray, x But he would not ate nd ; 

But when this young man Buried was 

The Minister did him admit x he should be 

Carried into Church, X that he might money geet. 

By this you See what man will dwo x to geet 

money if he can, x who did refuse to come 

and pray x by the Foresaid young man. 

In the Niew Kirk, at Amsterdam, is a very ancient 
monument, on which a pair of slippers of a singular kind 
are carved, with this inscription : " Effen Nyt" which 
means " exactly" and the story of this singularity is as 
follows : — 



WITTY AXD GROTESQUE. 183 

A man who was very rich, but who was a bon vivant, 
took it into his head that he was to live a certain number 
of years, and no longer. Under the impression of this 
idea, he calculated that if he spent so much a year, his 
estate and his life would expire together. It accidentally 
happened that he was not mistaken in either of his 
calculations ; he died precisely at the time he had fancied 
he would, and had then brought his fortune to such a pre- 
dicament that, after the paying of his debts, he had 
nothing left but a pair of slippers. His relations buried 
him in a creditable manner, and had the slippers carved 
on his tomb with the above laconic epitaph. 

In High Wycombe Churchyard. On Mr, Thomas 
Aldridge, aged 90 : — 

Of no distemper, 
Of no blast he died, 

But fell, 
Like autumn fruit 
That's mellow' d long, 
E'en wonder' d at, 
Because he dropt no sooner. 
Providence seem'd to wind him up 
For fourscore years, yet ran he on 
Nine winters more, till like a clock, 
Worn out with beating time, 
At last stood still. 

Inscription over the grave of a Fifer : — 

Hie Jacet 
1 ... 5 - 4 , 
o ... 4 ... 1 ... 2 ... 8, 
o ... 4 ... 1 ... 2 ... o, 
o ... 2 ... 80 ... 8, 
o ... 2 ... 45 ... 4. 



1 84 WITTY AND GROTESQUE. 



This means — 

Here lies 
One Fifer. 
Nought for one to wait, 

Nought for one to sigh for, 
Nought to weighty ate, 
Nought to fortify for. 

On Martha Snell, and a similar one in Staverton 
Churchyard : — 

Poor Martha Snell ! her's gone away, 
Her would if her could, but her couldn't stay ; 
Herd two sore legs, and a badish cough, 
But her legs it was as carried her off. 

On Mrs. Death : — 

Here lies Death's wife : when this way next you tread, 
Be not surprised should Death himself be dead. 

On an actor named Death : — 

Death levels all, both high and low, 
Without regard to stations ; 
Yet why complain 
If we are slain? 
For here lies one at least to show 
He kills his own relations. 

At St. Mary's Church, Shrewsbury, John Cadman 
lies buried ; he was killed in an attempt to fly from the 
spire (217 feet) in 1740. On a flat stone near the west 
door are the following lines : — 

Let this small monument record the name 
Of Cadman, and to future times proclaim 



WITTY AND GROTESQUE. 185 

How by'n attempt to fly from this high spire, 
Across the Sabrine stream, he did acquire 
His fatal end. 'Tvvas not for want of skill 
Or courage to perform the task he fell : 
No, no ; a faulty cord, being drawn too tight, 
Hurried his soul on high to take her flight, 
Which hid the body here beneath. Good-night. 

Under which some rhymester once wrote : — 

Good-night, good-night, poor John Cadman, 
You lived and died just like a madman. 

In Ci?'encester Churchyard, Gloucestershire : — 

Our bodies are like shoes, which off we cast ; 
Physic their cobblers ; and Death their last. 

On a celebrated ruling elder, by Robert Burns : — 

Here souter Hood in death does sleep — 

To hell, if he's gane thither, 
Satan, gie him thy gear to keep, 

He'll haud it weel thegither. 

By the same : — 

Hie jacet wee Johnnie. 

Whoe'er thou art, O reader, know, 

That death has murder'd Johnny, 
An' here his body lies fu low — 

For saul he ne'er had ony. 

By the same : — 

Here lies, now a prey to insulting neglect, 
What once was a butterfly gay in life's beam ; 

Want only of wisdom denied her respect, 
Want only of goodness denied her esteem. 



1 86 WITTY AXD GROTESQUE. 



By the same : — 

Here Holy Willie's sair-worn clay 

Taks up its last abode ; 
His soul has ta'en some other way, 

I fear the left-hand road. 

Stop ! there he is, as sure 's a gun, 

Poor, silly body, see him ; 
Xae wonder he's as black 'as the grun', 

Observe wha's standing wi' him. 

Your brunstane devilship, I see, 

Has got him there before ye ; 
But haud your nine-tail cat a wee, 

Till ance you've heard my story. 

Your pity I will not implore, 

For pity ye hae nane : 
Justice, alas! has gi'en him o'er, 

And Mercy's day is gaen. 

But hear me, sir, deil as ye are, 

Look something to your credit ; 
A coof like him wad stain your name, 

If it were kent ye did it. 

The following may be seen in a churchyard in the 
parish of Eskdalemnir. Dumfries : — 

Here lies John Laurie, 

Neither rich nor poor, 
Last minister of Wauchoppe, 

And first of Eskdalemuir. 

On Richard Burke : — 

Here lies honest Richard, whose fate I must sigh at ; 
Alas, that such frolic should now be so quiet ! 
What spirits were his ! what wit and what whim ! 
Now breaking a jest, and now breaking a limb! 



WITTY AND GROTESQUE. 187 



Now wrangling and grumbling to keep up the ball ! 

Now teasing and vexing, yet laughing at all ! 

In short, so provoking a fellow was Dick, 

That we wish'd him full ten times a day at Old Nick ; 

But missing his mirth and agreeable vein, 

As often we wish'd to have Dick back again ! 

At Edinburgh : — 

Here lies John and his Wife, 

Janet McFee, 
40 hee — 30 shee. 

On Thomas Kemp, a woolcomber, who was hanged 

for sheep-stealing : — 

Here lies the body of Thomas Kemp, 
Who lived by wool, but died by hemp ; 
There's nothing would suffice this glutton, 
But, with the fleece, to steal the mutton. 
Had he but work'd and lived uprighter, 
He'd ne'er been hung for a sheep-biter. 

In Wrexham Churchyard : — 

Richard Kendrick was buried August 29th, 1785, 
by the desire of his wife, Margaret Kendrick. 

At St. Be?inet J s, PauPs Wharf London; — 

Here lies one More, and no more than he, 

One More and no more — how can that be? 

Why one More and no more may well lie here alone ; 

But here lies one More, and that's more than one. 

Another : — 

Here old John Randell lies, who, telling of his tale, 
Lived threescore years and ten, such virtue was in ale : 
Ale was his meat ; ale was his drink ; ale did his heart revive ; 
And if he could have drunk his ale, he still had been alive. 



[88 WITTY AND GROTESQUE. 

On an Attorney : — 

Here lies John Shaw, 
Attorney-at-law ; 
And when he died, 
The Devil cried, 
• ' Give us your paw, 
John Shaw 
Attorney-at-law ! " 
" Pshaw! pshaw." 

In Worcester Churchyard : — 

Mammy and I together lived 

Just two years and a half; 
She went first — I followed next, 

The cow before the calf. 

On a Punster : — 

Beneath the gravel and these stones, 
Ivies poor Jack Tiffey's skin and bones ; 
His flesh I oft have heard him say, 
He hoped in time would make good hay ; 
Quoth I, " How can that come to pass?" 
And he replied, "All flesh is grass ! " 

On a tombstone in Essex : — 

Here lies the man Richard, 

And Mary his wife, 
Their surname was Prichard ; 

They lived without strife, 
And the reason was plain — 

They abounded in riches ; 
They had no care, nor pain, 

And the wife wore the breeches. 

On William Wilson, tailor, in Lci7iibeth Church- 
yard : — 

Here lies the body of W. W. , 

Who never more will trouble you, trouble you. 



WITTY AND GROTESQUE. 189 



On a Smuggler : — 

Here I lies, 

Kill'd by the X I S. 

In Wolverhampton Church, Ob. 1690 : — 

Here lies the bones 

Of Joseph Jones, 
Who ate whilst he was able ; L — ' 

But, once o'erfed, 

He dropt down dead, 
And fell beneath the table. 

When from the tomb, 

To meet his doom, 
He rises amidst sinners ; 

Since he must dwell 

In heaven or hell, 
Take him —which gives best dinners ! 

At Chester. On a Sexton : — 

Hurra ! my brave boys, let's rejoice at his fall I 
For if he had lived, he had buried us all. 

On Isaac Reed, by Thomas Dibdin ;— 

Reader, of these four lines take heed, 

And mend your life for my sake ; 
For you must die, like Isaac Reed, 

Tho' you read till your eyes ache! 

On an Innkeeper : — 

Hark ! hark ye, old friend ! what ! will pass then without 

Taking notice of honest plump Jack ? 
You see how 'tis with me, my light is burnt out, 

And they've laid me here flat on my back. 



190 WITTY AXD GROTESQUE, 

That light in my nose, once so bright to behold, 

That light is extinguish' d at last ; 
And I'm now put to bed in the dark and the cold, 

With wicker and so forth made fast. 
But now, wilt oblige me? then call for a quart 

Of the best, from the house o'er the way ; 
Drink a part on't thyself, on my grave pour a part, 

And walk on, — Friend, I wish thee good-day. 

Another : — 

Assign' d by Providence to rule a tap, 

My dayspass'd glibly, till an awkward rap, 

Some way, like bankruptcy, impell'd me down, 

But up I got again, and shook my gown 

In gamesome gambols, quite as brisk as ever, 

Blithe as the lark, and gay as sunny weather ; 

Composed with creditors, at five in pound, 

And frolick'd on till laid beneath this ground. 

The debt of Nature must, you know, be paid, 

No trust from her — God grant extent in aid ! 

At Frindsbury, Kent. On Mrs. Lee and her son 
Tom :— 

In her life she did her best, 
\J Now I hope her soul's at rest ; 

Also her son Tom lies at her feet — 
He lived till he made both ends meet ! 

On a scolding woman : — 

We lived one and twenty yeare, , 

Like man and wife together ; 
I could no longer have her here, 

She's gone— I know not whither. 
If I could guess, I doe professe 

(I speak it not to flatter), 
Of all the women in the worlde, 

I never could come at her ! 



WITTY AXD GROTESQUE. 191 



Her body is bestowed well, 

A handsome grave doth hide her ; 
And sure her soul is not in hell — 

The Fiend could nere abide her ! 
I think she mounted up on high, 

For in the last great thunder, 
Methought I heard her voice on high, 

Rending the clouds in sunder. 

On a quarrelsome man : — 

Beneath this stone lies one whose life 
Was spent in quarrels and in strife. 
Wake not his spirit from its rest, 
For when he slept the world was blest. 

Teetotaller's Epitaph. In the European Magazine 
for March, 1796, there is this " epitaph " on a water- 
drinker : — 

Here lies Xed Rand, who on a sudden, 
Left off ro; 1st beef for hasty pudding : 
Forsook old stingo, mild and stale, 
And every drink for Adam's ale ; 
Till flesh and blood reduced to batter, 
Consisting of mere flour and water, 
Which, wanting salt to keep out must, 
And heat to bake it to a crust, 
Moulder' d and crumbled into dust. 

On Sir WILLIAM CURTIS :— 

Here lies William Curtis, late our Lord Mayor, 
Who has left this here world and gone to that there. 



On Captain Stone :— 



As the earth the earth doth cover, 
So under this stone lies another. 



ig2 WITTY AND GROTESQUE. 

In St. Johrfs Church, Chester. On a swift-footed 
man : — 

Here lies the swift racer, so famed for his running, 
In spite of his boasting, his swiftness, and cunning ; 
In leaping o'er ditchas, and skipping o'er fields, 
Death soon overtook him, and tript up his heels. 

In Thetford Churchyard : — 

My grandfather lies buried here, 

My cousin Jane, and two uncles dear ; 

My father perish'd with inflammation in the thighs, 

And my sister dropt down dead in the Minories. 

But the reason I'm here interr'd, according to my thinking, 

Is owing to my good living and hard drinking ; 

If therefore, good Christians, you wish to live long, 

Don't drink too much wine, brandy, gin, or anything strong. 

On Sir Nathaniel Wraxall, written by George 
Colman the younger : — 

Misplacing — mistaking — 
Misquoting— misdating — 
Men, manners, things, and facts all-— 
Here lies Sir Nathan Wraxall. 

At Brightwell, Oxon. On Si Rumbold, born Feb., 
1582 :— 

He lived one hundred and five, 

Sanguine and strong ; 
A hundred to five 
You live not so long. 
Dy'd March 4, 1687. 

At He)-ne Bay Churchyard : — 

Here lie two children dear. 
One at Margate, and two here. 



WITTY AND GROTESQUE. 193 



At St. Agnes, Cornwall : — 

Here lies the body of Joan Carthew, 

Born at St. Columb, died at St. Cue ; 

Children she had five, 

Three are dead, and two alive ; 

Those that are dead chusing rather 

To die with their mother, than live with their father. 



At Tavistock, Devon : — 

Under this stone lie three children dear, 
Two be buried at Tawton, and the other here. 

In Wiiistone Churchyard, Yorkshire : — 

Where I am gone, you are coming ; 
So be serious, stop your funning. 

On Mr. Alexander Speid, in the Houff, Dundee :— 

Time flies with speed, with speed Speid' s fled 
To the dark regions of the dead ; 
With speed consumption's sorrows flew, 
And stopt Speid' s speed, for Speid it slew : 
Miss Speid beheld, with frantic woe, 
Poor Speid with speed turn pale as snow, 
And beat her breast and tore her hair, 
For Speid, poor Speid, was all her care. 
Let's learn of Speid with speed to fly 
From sin, since we like Speid must die. 



At High Wycombe, Bucks : — 

Death is a fisherman ; the world we see 
A fishpond is, and we the fishes be ; 
He sometimes angler-like doth with us play, 
And slily takes us one by one away. 



194 WITTY AND GROTESQUE. 



At Acton, Gloucester : — 

Here lies entomb' d one Roger Morton, 
Whose sudden death was early brought on ; 
Trying one day his corn to mow off, 
The razor slipt and cut his toe off ; 
The toe, or rather what it grew to, 
An inflammation quickly flew to ; 
The parts they took to mortifying, 
And poor dear Roger took to dying. 

On a wife : — 

. I laid my wife beneath this stone 
For her repose and for my own. 

On a clergyman named Chest : — 

Here lies at rest, I do protest, 

One Chest within another ; 
The chest of wood was very good — 

Who says so of the other ? 

On a great eater : — 

Whoe'er you are, tread softly, I entreat you ; 
For if he chance to wake, be sure he'll eat you. 

On a hen-pecked country squire : — 

As father Adam first was fooFd, 

A case that's still too common, 
Here lies a man a woman ruled — 

The devil ruled the woman. 

In Eccleston Churchyard, near Chester. On JOHN 
Huxley :— 

Poor Jack, he lies beneath this rood, 
And sure he must be blest, 



WITTY AND L GROTESQ UE. 1 95 



For if he could do nothing good, 

He meant to do his best. 
Think on your souls, ye guilty throng, 
Who, knowing what is right, does wrong. 

On Mr. Peck : — 

Here lies a Peck, which some men say, 
Was first of all a Peck of clay ; 
This, wrought with skill divine, while fresh, 
Became a curious Peck of flesh : 
Through various forms its Maker ran, 
Then, adding breath, made Peck a man. 
Full sixty years Peck felt life's bubbles, 
Till Death relieved a Peck of troubles ; 
Thus fell poor Peck, as all things must, 
And here he lies — a Peck of dust. 

On Captain Jones, a great traveller and story-teller : — 

Tread softly, mortals, o'er the bones 
Of the w r orld's wonder, Captain Jones ; 
Who told his glorious deeds to many, 
But never was believed by any. 
Posterity, let this suffice : 
He swore all's true, yet here he lies. 

At Ancrum Moor, Roxburgh, Scotland* On Maiden 
Lilliard, who at the battle of Ancrum distinguished 
herself : — 

Fair Maiden Lilliard lies under this stone : 

Little was her stature, but great was her fame ; 

Upon the English lions she had laid many thumps, 

And when her legs were cutted off she fought upon her stumps. 

Some years since the following inscription, engraved on 
a stone, was discovered amongst the relics of an anti- 



196 WITTY AXD GROTESQUE. 



quarian, and considered a great curiosity by its translation 
having puzzled scholars : — 

Bene 

A. T. H. TH. ISST. 

onere . Pos . ET . 

H CLAUD COS Ter . TRIP 

E . Sellero 

F. IMP 
IN . GT . oxas DO 

TH . HI 
S. C 

On . s or 
. T . IANE. 

Some supposed it to refer to the Emperor Claudian, 
till one day a lad spelled it out : — 

Beneath this stone reposeth Claud Coster, tripe- 
seller, of Impington, as doth his consort Jane. 

In Barrow-on-Soar Church, Leicestershire. On Theo- 
philus Caves, 1584 : — 

Here in this Grave there lies a Cave 

We call a Cave a Grave ; 
If Cave be Grave, and Grave be Cave, 

Then, reader, judge, I crave, 
Whether doth Cave here lye in Grave, 

Or Grave here lye in Cave : 
If Grave in Cave here buryed lye, 

Then Grave, where is thy victory ? 
Goe, reader ! and report, 

Here lies a Cave 
Who conquers Death, 

And buryes hb own Crave. 



WITTY AXD GROTESQUE. 197 



On the Marquis of ANOLESEA'S leg :— 

Here lies, — and let no saucy knave 

Presume to sneer or laugh, 
To learn that mould' ring in this ca^e 

Is laid a British calf. 
For he who writes these lines is sure 

That those who read the whole, 
Would find that laugh were premature, 

For here, too, lies a sole. 
And here five little ones repose, 

Twin born with other five, 
Unheeded by their brother toes, 

Who now are all alive. 
A leg and foot, to speak more plain, 

Rest here of one commanding ; 
And tho' his wits he may retain, 

Lost half his wider standing ; 
Who, when the guns, with thunder fraught, 

Pour'd bullets thick as hail, 
Could only in this way be brought 

To give the foe leg-bail • 
And now in England, just as gay 

As in the battle brave, 
Goes to the rout, review, or play, 

With one foot in the grave. 
Fortune, indeed, has shown her spite, 

(For he will still be found, 
Should England's foes engage in fight, 

Resolved to stand his ground, ) 
And but indulged in harmless whim, 

Since he could walk with one, 
She saw two legs were lost on him, 

Who never deign' d to run. 



An inscription on a stone, within a niche in the wall of 
the mausoleum in Lord Cobham's garden at Stow ; — 



193 WITTY AND GROTESQUE. 



To the memory of 

Signor FIDO, 

An Italian of good Extraction, 

Who came into England, 

Not to bite us, like most of his Countrymen, 

But to gain an honest Livelyhood. 

He limited not after Fame, 

Yet acquired it. 

Regardless of the Praise of his Friends, 

But most sensible of their Love. 

Tho' he lived among the Great, 

He neither learnt nor flattered any Vice. 

He was no Bigot, 

Tho' he doubted of none of the Thirty-nine 

Articles : 

And if to follow Nature, 

And to respect the Laws of Society, 

Be Philosophy ; 

He was a perfect Philosopher, 

A faithful Friend, 

An agreeable Companion, 

A loving Husband ; 

And, tho' an Italian, 

Was distinguished by a numerous Offspring : 

All which he liv'd to see take good Courses. 

In his old Age he retir'd 

To the house of a Clergyman in the Country, 

Where he finish' d his earthly Race, 

And died an Honour and Example to the 

whole species. 

Reader, 

This Stone is guiltless of Flattery ; 



WITTY AND GROTESQUE. 199 



For he to whom it was inscrib'd 

Was not a Man, 

But a Grey Hound. 

On the monument of a Newfoundland Dog, in the 
garden of Newstead, by Lord Byron : — 

Near this spot 

Are deposited the Remains of one 

Who possessed Beauty without Vanity, 

Strength without Insolence, 

Courage without Ferocity, 

And all the Virtues of Man without his Vices. 

This Praise, which would be unmeaning Flattery 

If inscribed over human ashes, 

Is but a just tribute to the Memory of 

Boatswain, a Dog, 

Who was born at Newfoundland, May, 1803, 

And died at Newstead Abbey, Nov. 18, 1808. 

When some proud son of man returns to earth, 
Unknown to glory, but upheld by birth, 
The sculptor's art exhausts the pomp of woe, 
And storied urns record who rest below ; 
When all is done, upon the tomb is seen, 
Not what he was, but what he should have been : 
But the poor dog, in life the firmest friend, 
The first to welcome, foremost to defend, 
Whose honest heart is still his master's own, 
Who labours, fights, lives, breathes for him alone, 
Unhonour'd falls, unnoticed all his worth, 
Denied in heaven the soul he held on earth : 
While man, vain insect ! hopes to be forgiven, 
And claims himself a sole exclusive heaven. 
Oh man ! thou feeble tenant of an hour, 
Debased by slavery, or corrupt by power, 



WITTY AND GROTESQUE. 



Who knows thee well must quit thee with disgust. 

Degraded man of animated dust. 

Thy love is lust, thy friendship all a cheat, 

Thy smiles hypocrisy, thy words deceit ! 

By nature vile, ennobled but by name, 

Each kindred brute might bid thee blush for shame. 

Ye, who perchance behold this simple urn, 

Pass on— it honours none you wish to mourn : 

To mark a friend's remains these stones arise ; 

I never knew but one — and here he lies. 

Singular Inscription : — 

No monument that we are aware of has ever been 
erected to the memory of a pig. The town of Lunenburg, 
in Hanover, has filled up that blank, and at the Hotel de 
Ville, in that town, there is to be seen a kind of mausoleum 
to the memory of a member of the swinish race. In the 
interior of that commemorative structure is to be seen a 
glass-case, enclosing a ham still in good preservation. A 
slab of black marble attracts the eye of visitors, who find 
thereon the following inscription in Latin, engraved in 
letters of gold : " Passer-by, contemplate here the mortal 
remains of the pig which acquired for itself imperishable 
glory by the discovery of the salt springs of Lunenburg. 




w^: 




IV. 



miscellaneous OHpttapJjs, 



St. Amis, Alder sgate. On Peter Heiwood : — 

Peter Heiwood, 

Youngest son of Peter Heiwood, 

One of the Counsellors of Jamaica, 

By Grace, Daughter of Sir John Muddeford, 

Knt. and Bart., 

Great Grandson to Peter Heiwood, of Heiwood. 

In the County Palatine of Lancaster, 

Who apprehended Guy Faux 

With his dark Lanthorn, 

And for his zealous Prosecution of Papists, 

As Justice of the Peace, 

Was stabbed in Westminster Hall, 

By John James, a Dominican Fryar, 

Anno Dom. 1640. 

Ob iit Nov. 2, 1 70 1. 



202 MISCELLANEOUS EPITAPHS. 

On Edward Morgan, who died in 1828, at Saint 
Bride's Minor, Glamorganshire : — 

(3 Earth ! O Earth ! observe this well, 
That earth to earth must come to dwell ; 
Then earth in earth shall close remain, 
Till earth from earth shall rise again. 

In Burford Church, Shropshire, is a handsome monu- 
ment to the memory of Elizabeth, daughter of John oi 
Gaunt, and sister to Henry IV. 

At Frodsham Church, Cheshire, was buried, March 13, 
1592, Thomas Hough, aged 141, and the very next day 
Randle Hall, aged 103. 

On a brass tablet in Willaston Chapel, Shropshire ; — 
The Old, Old, very Old Man, 
Thomas Parr, 
Was born at the Glyn 
within this Chapelry of Great Willaston, 
and Parish of Alberbury, 
in the County of Salop, 
In the Year of our Lord, 1483. 
He lived in the Reigns of Ten Kings 
and Queens of England (viz.) K. Edw : 4, 
K. Edwd. 5, K. Rich. 3, K. Hen. 7th, K. Hen. 8th, 
Edwd. 6th, O. Mary, Q. Elizabeth, K. James 1st, and 
K. Charles 1st, died the 13th, 
And was buried in Westminster Abbey, 
On the 15th of November, 1635, 
Aged 1 52 years and 9 months. 
The inscription in West7ninster Abbey is very similar 
to the above. 



MISCELLANEOUS EPITAPHS. 203 

At a place called Kirkmichael, in the Isle of Man, and 
in the churchyard of that place, is an upright stone, of 
great antiquity, on which are chiselled various devices of 
horse-riders, dogs, and stags ; on the upper part is a warrior, 
with a spear and shield ; on the edge are some runic 
characters, which are thus variously translated by different 
antiquarians. Sir John Prestwich asserts that the words 
form the following sentence : " Walter, son of Thurulf, a 
Knight, right valiant, Lord of Frithu, the Father, Jesus 
Christ/' Whereas Mr. Beaufort, with equal confidence, 
reads the inscription thus : " For the sins of Ivalsir, the 
son of Duval, this cross was erected by his mother, 
Aftridi." 

In an old volume containing the History of Fair 
Rosamond, daughter of Lord Clifford, and mistress to 
Henry II., it is stated that the King caused a stately 
tomb to be erected to her memory at Godstoiu, near 
Oxford, on which was this inscription in Latin : — 

Within this tomb lies the world's chiefest Rose, 
She who was sweet will now offend your nose. 

From HotJifield Churchyard, Kent : — 

Charlotte Sparks was my name ; England was my nation ; 
Hothfield was my dwelling-place, and Christ is my salvation. 
Now I am dead and in my grave, and all my bones are rotten. 
When this you see, pray think of me, when I am quite forgotten. 

The following epitaph is of a most remarkable nature. 
At St. Peter's Church in the East, Oxford, is a monumen- 
tal inscription of a lady who died in child-birth, in the 
62nd year of her age. It is under a brass affixed to a 
stone arch-monument against the wall in the north aisle 



204 MISCELLANEOUS EPITAPHS. 



of the church, whereon is the picture of a man and woman 
kneeling : — 

Here lies the body of Simon Parret, M.A., late 
Fellow of Magdalen College, and Elizabeth his wife, 
daughter of Edward Love, of Aynho, in the county of 
Northampton, Esqr., which Simon departed Sept. 24, 
1584, in the year of his age 71. And Elizabeth departed 
in child-bed, December 24, 1572, in the year of her age 
62. 

We are not aware of having ever read a nobler termma- 
tion to an epitaph to the memory of certain officers and 
privates who had perished in action. The inscription 
recited their names, and added, in touching solemn Eng- 
lish phrase : — 

Who died 
Doing their Duty under the Flag 
That Hangs over this Stone. 

West Bradford (town), Pennsylvania. In this church- 
yard are seven tombstones, side by side, covering the re- 
mains of the Hon. Nathaniel Thurston and his six 
wives. They stand in order as follows : Mrs. BETSY 
Thurston, died November 25, 1790, aged 34 ; Mrs. 
Martha Thurston, died May 12, 1799, aged 32 ; Mrs. 
Huldah Thurston, died Septe?nber 8, 1801, aged 24 ; 
Mrs. Clarissa Thurston, died November 14, 1803, aged 
36 ; Mrs. Martha Thurston, died July 30, 1804, aged 
25 ; Mrs. Mary Thurston, died March 3, 1808, aged 
27; Hon. Nathaniel Thurston, died in Lansinburgh, 
New York, October 21, 181 1, aged 56. Martha the 



MISCELLANEOUS EPITAPHS. 205 

second, it will be observed, was married and buried within 
nine months of the death of her predecessor, Clarissa. 

There is on the high north road, about a mile from York, 
a stone monument representing a woman upon her knees, 
with her hands clasped before her in a praying attitude. 
It is a memorial to the memory of Ursula Southiel, 
who married at the age of 24 (15 12), one Toby, a builder, 
at Shipton, a little village six miles to the north of York 
city. She was supposed to possess an uncommon pene- 
tration into futurity, and was so famous at the time of 
changing her maiden appellation that she derived the 
familiar cognomen of ' Mother Shipton V The stone is 
now a shapeless mass, hardly a foot high, standing on a 
small triangular patch of ground. The original epitaph 
is said to have been : — 

Here lies one who never ly'd, 
Whose skill has oftentimes been tried. 
Her prophecies shall still survive, 
And ever keep her name alive. 

On a stone in the wall of Chiswick Churchyard, Mid- 
dlesex ; — 

This wall was made at ye charges of ye Right Honour- 
able and trulie pious Lorde Francis Russell, Earl of Bed- 
ford, out of true zeale and care for ye keeping of this 
churchyard, and ye wardrobe of Godd's Saints, whose 
bodies lay therein buried, from violation by swine and 
other prophanation. So Witnesseth Wm. Walker, Vc, 
A.D. 1623. 

On Lady MOLESWORTH, who was burnt to death by a 



206 MISCELLANEOUS EPITAPHS. 

fire which broke out in her dwelling-house, London, 6th 
May, 1763 :— 

A peerless matron, pride of female life, 

In ev'ry state, as widow, maid, or wife, 

Who, wedded to threescore, preserved her fame — 

She lived a Phcenix, and expired in flame. 

In Camber well Church : — 

Buried 5th May, 1658, Rose, wife of Wm. Hathaway, 
aged 103, who bore a son at the age of 63. Her husband, 
who was about the same age, survived her three years, 
and was buried 3rd October, 1661, aged 105. 

Another : — 

On Elizabeth Jones who died 22nd November, 1775, 
aged 125. 

Same church. There is an inscription in gold letters 
as follows : To the memory of Nathaniel Godbold, 
Esqre, inventor and proprietor of that excellent medicine, 
the ' Vegetable Balsam,' for the cure of consumptions and 
asthmas. He departed this life the 17th of December, 
1 799, aged 69 years. 

In a church at Carmarthen : — 

Here lyeth ye Body of Anne, ye wife of John 
Phillips, of Carmarthen, Gent, born a.d. 1646, died 
Feby. ye 18th, 1720. She possessed in a great degree ye 
vertues and felicities of her sex, was ye mother of many 
children, of whom six survived her. She had ye uncom- 
mon happiness to see those six well settled and living all 
near her, in prosperous circumstances. The great duties 



MISCELLANEOUS EPITAPHS. 207 

of private life she discharged with equal prudence and 
success, and was at once an affectionate wife and a tender 
mother. She had ye comfortable satisfaction of seeing 
her six children married in ye same order they were born. 

In Esher Church there is an inscription scarcely legible, 
which records of the mother of Mrs. Mary Morton 
(who died Ap. 18, 1634) that she was 'the wonder of her 
sex and this age ; ' for she lived to see near four hundred 
issued from her loynes. 

In the Churchyard of Keyshoe, in Bedfordshire, is the 
following inscription, now almost obliterated. The event 
to which it relates, together with the circumstances which 
are known to have been connected with it, appear too 
remarkable to be consigned to oblivion. No alteration 
has been admitted in copying the inscription from the 
stone, but in the spelling and grammar : — 

In memory of the mighty hand of the Great God and 
Our Saviour Jesus Christ, who preserved the life of 
William Dickens, April 17th, 171 8, when he was 
pointing the steeple, and fell from the ridge of the middle 
window in the spire, over the south-west pinnacle. He 
dropped upon the battlement, and there broke his leg and 
foot, and drove down two long coping stones, and so fell 
to the ground with his neck upon one standard of his 
chair, when the other end took the ground. He was 
heard by his brother to say, when near the ground, 
" Christ, have mercy upon me ! Lord Jesus Christ, help 
me !" It is added that he died November 29th, 1759, 
aged 73 years. The height from whence this person fell 
was not less than 132 feet, and his leg and foot were 



208 MISCELLANEOUS EPITAPHS. 

exceedingly fractured, but his injury in other respects was 
so trifling that he not only lived more than forty years 
afterwards, but within seven months from the time of his 
fall, he was capable of ascending the steeple a second 
time, and he then finished pointing the spire. 

Conway, Carnarvonshire. On NICHOLAS HOOKES, 
Esq. : — 

Here lieth the Body 

Of Nicholas Hookes, of Conway, Gentleman, 

Who was the one-and-fortieth child of his Father, 

William Hookes, Esq., by Alice his Wife, 

And the Father of twenty-seven Children ; 

He died 20th of March, 1637. 

This inscription was revived in 1720, at the charge of 

John Hookes, Esq. 

Near Dingwall Church, Rossshire, is an obelisk rising in 
a pyramidal form, 57 feet high, being the burial-place of 
the family of Cromarty. 

At Litchfield, Conn., there is the following inscription 
on an old tombstone : — 

Here lies the body of Mrs. Mary, wife of Dr. John 
Buel, Esq. She died Nov. 4, 1778, ^Etat 90, having had 
13 children, 10 1 grandchildren, 274 great-grandchildren, 
22 great-great-grandchildren; total, 410; surviving, 336. 

In the library of Kirkby Lonsdale Church, West?nore~ 
la7id, is the following inscription r — 

This library pulpit, and new loft, with the school-house, 



MISCELLANEOUS EPITAPHS. 209 

were founded by Henry Wilson, of Underby, who gave* 
^1000 to the College, besides ^35 yearly to seven poor 
scholars going to Queen's College, Oxford ; to this Church 
and School ^240, and to the poor of Kirkby Lonsdale 
lordship ^500, besides many other gifts to pious uses in 
other places, by all of which he, being dead, yet speaks. 

Epitaph : — 

The living know that they must die. 
But all the dead forgotten He ; 
Their memory and their sense is gone, 
Alike unknowing and unknown. 

On the death of his first son, by Ben Jonson : — 

Rest in soft peace, and ask'd, say Here doth He 
Ben Jonson his best piece of poetry t 
For whose sake, henceforth, all his verse be such, 
As what he loves may never like too much. 

In Peterborough Cathedral are monuments to the 
memory of Catherine of Arragon, wife of Henry 
VIII., and Mary Queen of Scots, both of whom were 
buried here. The body of the latter was removed to 
Westminster Abbey. 

Walt07i-07i-Thames, Surrey. In the church at this 
p]ace are preserved several brass plates, which were once 
laid over a grave-stone is evident, but in what part of the 
church is not known. One of these plates has a black- 
letter inscription to the memory of John Selwyn, who 
is represented with his wife and eleven children in the 
attitude of prayer. And on another he is seated on the 
back of a stag, holding by one of the animaPs horns with 
his left hand, and with his right plunging a sword into 
his neck. He was, it appears, under-keeper of the park 

14 * 



2io MISCELLANEOUS EPITAPHS. 

at Oatlands, in the reign of Queen Elizabeth ; the bugle 
horn, the insignia of his office, is apparent in both figures. 
This man, according to tradition, which seems from the 
concurrent testimony of the plates to be well-founded, 
was extremely famous for his strength, agility, and skill 
in horsemanship, specimens of all which he exhibited in 
the park before the Queen at a grand stag-hunt. He 
in the heat of the chase suddenly leaped from his horse 
upon the back of the stag, both running at the same time 
with their utmost speed, and not only kept his seat grace- 
fully, in spite of every effort of the affrighted beast, but 
drawing his sword, guided him with it towards the Queen, 
and when near her plunged it into his throat . Tradition 
says, the stag having, at the moment it was struck, thrown 
back its head, killed Selwyn by a blow of its horns. The 
epitaph is as follows : Here lieth ye bodye of John 
Selwyn, Gentn., Keeper of Her Majesties Park of Ote- 
lande, under the Right Honourable Charles Howarde, 
Lord Admyryl of Englande, his good lorde and master, 
who had issue by Susan his wyfe, V. sonnes and VI. 
daughters, all living at his death, and departed out of this 
worlde the XXII. day of March, A.D. 1587. 

Westminster Abbey. On King Henry V. : — 

Here lies Henry, 

The Scourge of France, 

1422. 

Virtue surmounts all Opposition. 

Here also, 

With her Valiant Spouse, lies 

The beautiful Catherine. 

Keep from Sloth. 



\ 



MISCELLANEOUS EPITAPHS. 211 

St. Martiri s-iti-the-Fields* On Sir Edwd. Fane : — 

In memory of 

Sir Edward Fane, Knt. of the Bath, 

By Elizabeth, Relict of John Lord Darcey and Morwell. 

He married Jane, third daughter of 

Mr. James Stanier, Merchant of London. 

Whom he left a sorrowful Widow. 

He travelled five times into Spain, 

Four times into Italy, thrice into France, 

Twice into Turkey, 

Where, at Aleppo, he resided six years, 

And visited Jerusalem and the Holy Land, 

Tripoli, Zidon, Acres, Joppa, Nazareth, Galilee, 

The river Jordan, the Dead Sea, Bethlehem, 

And other places : 

And to show his undaunted Loyalty to 

His Prince and Country, 

He was a Volunteer in his Majesty's Fleet, 

In the Three Days' Engagement against the Dutch in 

1666, 

And now, 

After many Dangers passed, both by Sea and Land, 

At the foot of this Pillar, 

Lays down his Pilgrim's Staff, 

In hopes of a heavenly Jerusalem, 

In the 37th year of his age, Dec. 15, 1679. 

In Churchill Church, Somersetshire, on a blue stone on 
the floor, are the figures of a man and woman, with eight 
children, in brass, with an inscription stating them to re- 
present Ralph Je»yns, his wife Joane, and their family, 



MISCELLANEOUS EPITAPHS. 



dated 1572. These brasses are in a beautiful state of 
preservation. He is habited as a knight in armour, with a 
curious head-piece, giving him a very singular appearance ; 
above are three coats of arms. 

The plague which prevailed in London, and unpeopled 
the village of Eyam in Derbyshire, is here strikingly 
exemplified. Six headstones and one tabular monumental 
stone yet remain to tell the tale of the total extinction of 
a whole family, with the exception of one boy, in the 
short space of eight days. The inscription, though much 
w r orn, was traceable in 1836, and may yet be so. The 
respective dates are : — 

Elizabeth Hancock, died August 3, 1666. 
John Hancock, sen., „ 4, 1666. 



John Hancock, jun., 
Owen Hancock, 
William Hancock, 
Alice Hancock, 
Anne Hancock, 



7, 1666. 
7, 1666. 
7, 1666. 
9, 1666. 
10, 1666. 



On the four sides of the tomb which contains the 
ashes of the father of this unhappy family of sufferers are 
the words, " Horam Nescitis, Orate, Vigilate." A de- 
scendant of the boy mentioned above, whose preservation 
may almost be considered miraculous, introduced, about 
the middle of last century, into Sheffield, the method of 
plating ingots of copper with silver, and thus laid the 
foundation of one of the most lucrative manufactures of 
that town and its rival, Birmingham. 

In Aberlemno, Forfarshire, are two obelisks which are 



MISCELLANEOUS EPITAPHS. 213 

very fine pieces of antiquity, and were erected to com- 
memorate the total defeat of the Danes by the Scots. 
They are about nine feet high, and covered with rude 
hieroglyphics. 

In the year 1761, in the district of Ben Ghisa, in Malta, 
was discovered a sepulchral cave. In the wall of this 
cave was a hollow square, in which was cut, in Phoenician 
characters, the epitaph annexed, which Sir W. Drummond 
thus translated : — 

The Inner Chamber of the Sanctuary of the 

Sepulchre of Hannibal. 

Illustrious in the consummation of calamity, 

He was beloved. 

The people lament, when arrayed 

in order of battle, 
Hannibal the son of Bur-Melech. 

In St. Mary's Churchyard, Barnes, Surrey, against the 
south wall, is fixed a small tablet of stone between two 
buttresses, to the memory of Edward Rose, citizen of 
London, who died in July, 1653. The space between the 
buttresses is enclosed with wooden pales, and some rose 
trees are planted against the wall on each side of the 
tablet. This was done in pursuance of Mr. Rose's will, 
who left twenty pounds to the parish to be laid out in the 
purchase of an acre of land for the benefit of the poor, 
but out of the profits the churchwardens were to keep 
these pales in repair, to preserve the rose trees, and when 
they should decay to supply their place with others. All 
this has been very punctually complied with, the pales 
are in repair, the rose trees flourishing, and the parish 



214 MISCELLANEOUS EPITAPHS. 

clerk receives a small annual salary for taking care of 
them. 

In Weare Church, Somerset, is an old brass plate, with 
an effigy, and the following inscription : — 

Of your charitie that passeth here by, 
Pray foe the soule of John Bedberie, 

That here doth lye, 
On whose soule Christ Jhu have mercie. 

In All Saints' Church, Kingston, Surrey, on the brass- 
plate of a gravestone is the figure of a man habited in a 
gown with wide sleeves, which reaches to his feet, and the 
girdle studded with roses ; his wife also standing beside 
him. The inscription beneath the figures is placed the 
wrong way upwards ; but read from the 'bottom is as 
follows : — 

Roberti Cista Skerni corpus tenet ista 

Marmorie Petre Conjugis atque suse, 
Qui validus, fidus, disertus, lege peritus, 

Nobilis, ingenuus, perfidiam renuit, 
Constans sermone, vita, sensu, ratione, 

Communiter cuique justitiam voluit, 
Regalis juris unicos promovit honores, 

Fallere vel falli res odiosa sibi, 
Gaudeat in celisqui vixit in orbe fidelis 

Nonas Aprilis pridie qui morit' 
Mille quadrigentis D'ni trigintaque septem 

Aim is ipsius Rex miserere Jesu. 

Skern's wife is said to have been the daughter of the ce- 
lebrated Alice Pierce, or Perrers, mistress of Edward III. 

In St. Nicholas' Church, Guildford, Surrey, is a monu- 
ment bearing the effigy of a priest habited in scarlet, with 



MISCELLANEOUS EPITAPHS. 215 

a dog at his feet, and an inscription whose date is in the 
14th century. It is as follows : — "Hie jacet Arnaldus 

Brocas, Baculari lit' usq, Iuris, Canonic' Lincoln' and 

Wellens', and qu'dam Rector isti' loci, qui obiit in Vig'la 

Assn' to's be' Marie, Anno Domini, Millesimo, CCC. 

Nonagesimo quinto. 

There is a curious relic of antiquity in the parish of 
Rafford, Elgiiishire, being a standing pillar near Forres, 
called "Swenos Stone." Its height above ground is 
twenty-three feet, and about twelve or fifteen below, three 
feet ten inches broad, and one foot ten inches thick. On 
this stone, which is said, to be the finest monument of the 
Gothic kind in Europe, are curiously carved a number of 
rude figures of animals, armed men, gigantic figures, and 
curious fret-work. It is supposed to have been erected in 
memory of the peace concluded between Malcolm and 
Canute, in 1012. 

At Killearn, Stirlingshire, is a pyramid of white free- 
stone, nineteen feet square at the base, and a hundred and 
three feet high. It was erected in 1788, to the memory 
of George Buchannan, the celebrated poet and historian 
who was a native of this place. 

Near to the entrance of the town of New haven, Sussex, 
and close to the churchyard wall, stands an obelisk to com- 
memorate the melancholy fate of his Majesty's ship 
" Brazen," Captain Hanson, which was wrecked here in 
January, 1800, and out of 105 persons one only escaped. 

In Campde?i Churchyard, Gloucestershire, there are 
some ancient gravestones, one of the year 1386, and 
another 1401. 



2l6 



MISCELLANEOUS EPITAPHS. 



Epitaph, from a sheet entitled "A Crown a Crime; 
or, The Monarch Martyr," dated Feb., 1648, in the British 
Museum : — 

/ Behold the Mirror of a Prince pourtrayed, 
The living Embleam of a glorious shade, 
Whose Chair of State was late a scaffold made. 

One, than whom never any did professe 
More zeal to the Publique, and received lesse 
Of more desert, and brought to more distresse. 

That reall lustre to our Royal Garter, 
That late inlarger of our Cities Charter, 
Whose Crown the Crime that made this Monarch 
Martyr. , 



Charles I. 



Adieu, Dear Prince, Death, like a loving friend 
Hath crowned thy sufferings with a peacefull end, 
While headless we our ruine must attend, 

Nor can we lesse expect, Judgement's at hand 

To scourge the follies of a sinfull Land, 

What Erightman wrote we would not understand. 

From the fat all period of a Charlemain, 

Waine should a kingdom in her Charles — Waine, 

But prayers nor tears might call him back again. 

Lords should resigne their Patents to the Sword, 
Lurdave should equall any English Lord, 
O brave Platonick Levell ! Martiall Boord. 



Westminster Abbey : — 

^Eternae memoriae sacrum. 

Sacred to the eternal memory of. 

The name of the person, to whom immortality was thus 
secured, is almost obliterated ; and perhaps when alive he 



MISCELLANEOUS EPITAPHS. 217 

was little known, and as soon forgotten by the small circle 
of his friends and acquaintances. 

In Shiffnal Church, Shropshire, are the following in- 
scriptions : — 

William Wakely was baptized at Idsal, otherwise 
Shiffnal, May the 1st, 1590, and was buried at Adbaston, 
Nov. 28, 17 14. His age was 124 years and upwards ; he 
lived in the reigns of eight kings and queens, D.P. 

August 7th, 1776. Mary, the wife of Joseph Yates, 
of Lizard Common, within this parish, was buried, aged 
127 years. She walked to London just after the fire in 
1666, was hearty and strong 120 years, and married a 
third husband at ninety-two. 

At Bunbury, Cheshire, a college was founded by Sir 
Hugh Calverley, about the year 1370. His tomb is still 
kept neat and clean, by a benefaction to the poor of the 
parish for that purpose, by Dame Mary Calverley, of Lee, 
in 1705. 

In the Church of St. Buryan, Cornwall, is a coffin- 
shaped monument, inscribed " Clarice, la Cheffrie de 
Bolleit git icy. Dew de Palme est mercy. Eke par Palme 
punt, di ior de pardun averund." (Clarice, the wife of 
Geoffrey de Bolleit, lies here. God have mercy on her 
soul, and whoever prays for her soul shall obtain ten days' 
indulgence.) 

St. Leonard's, Foster Lane, City. It was founded be- 
tween 1 23 1 and 1 241. On the east end was engraven 



2i8 MISCELLANEOUS EPLTAPHS. 

the name of John Brokitwell, the founder, and these 
rhymes : — 

Al yat wil gud warks wurch, 

Prey for yem that help thys church 

Geuuyng almys for Charite 

Pater noster, and Ave. 

The following lines are more remarkable for quaintness 
of expression, than for their particular fitness for the cha- 
racter of one so bloodthirsty and infamous. Written for 
Eadburga, the daughter of Offa, by his wife Quendrida, 
who married Bithric, or Bertric, King of the West Saxons 

(787) :- 

I was, I am not ; smiled, that since did weep ; 
Labour' d, that rest ; I waked, that now must sleep ; 
I play'd, I play not ; sung, that now am still ; 
Saw, that am blind ; I would, that have no will ; 
I fed that which feeds worms ; I stood, I fell ; 
I bade God save you, that now bid farewell ; 
I felt, I feel not ; followed, was pursued ; 
I warr'd, have peace ; I conquer'd, am subdued ; 
I moved, want motion ; I was stiff, that bow 
Below the earth ; then something, nothing now ; 
I catch'd, am caught ; I travell'd, here I lie ; 
Lived in the world, that to the world now die. 

Turning our thoughts from Eadburga, how pleasant it 
is to read of the good Bertha, queen of King Ethelbert, 
of Kent, who contributed in no slight degree to the over- 
throw of the heathenism of the Saxons, and the sacred 
conversion of Britons to the Christian religion. She was 
buried in the porch of St. Martin's, Canterbury, and an 
Epitaph on her, now obliterated, but preserved by Leland, 
was to the following effect : — 

Adorned with virtues, here lies the blessed Queen 



MISCELLANEOUS EPITAPHS. 219 

Bertha, who was in favour with God, and greatly 
beloved by mankind. 

On Martin Luther's tomb : — 

Judicio Pylhim, genio Socratem, arte Maronem, 

(In judgment a Nestor, in genius a Socrates, in art a 
Virgil.) 

In the park of Du Plessis, near Senlis, is a handsome 
monument erected to the memory of Christine Boyer, 
wife of Luclan Buonaparte, Napoleon's second brother, 
on which is the following simple inscription : — 

A daughter — wife — and mother — without reproach. 

Willesborough Churchyard, near Ashford, in Kent. 
The following Epitaph (much defaced) was copied Sep- 
tember 20th, 1764 : — 

Here lieth entombed the body of William Master, 
the second son of Michael Master, Esq. He living a 
Bachelor's Life, he came to an untimely Abel's death, at 
the age of 26 years, . . in his carriage — honest of his 
word, well respected and beloved of all. Elizabeth, the 
Daughter of John Hall, the Mother and Mourner for so 
great and incomparable a loss of so dear a Son ... all 
memory— she hath erected this monument, with expecta- 
tion of meeting in the Resurrection of Souls. — Anno 
Domini, 1634. 

The preceding Epitaph relates to the unfortunate death 
of a young man, who was killed by his brother in a fit of 
jealousy, on account of an orphan young woman, who 
was protected by their father, and lived in his house. Mr. 



220 MISCELLANEOUS EPITAPHS. 

Otway, happening to be on a visit to the neighbourhood 
soon after the unfortunate affair took place, learned the 
particulars, and made them the groundwork of his admi- 
rable tragedy, " The Orphan" 

On a tombstone in Chiswick Churchyard : — 
J. Z. H. born December 19, 1802, died January 8, 1801. 

By this it would appear that the child must have died 
rather less than twelve months before it was born. 

In the parish of Ahamlish, Sligo, there is a burial-ground 
for drowned persons and unbaptized children ; and two 
burying-places, one for males and the other for females. 

At St Philip's, Birmingham, the following inscription 
expresses the opinion which was entertained of a remark- 
able dwarf : — 

In memory of 

Mannetta Stocker, 

Who quitted this life the fourth day of May, 1819, 

at the age of thirty-nine years. 

The smallest woman of this kingdom, and one of the 

most accomplished. 

She was no more than thirty-three inches high. 

She was a native of Austria. 

In the Church des Minimes, at Luneville. Nicholas 
Ferry, born November, 1741, at Plaisnes, in the princi- 
pality of S alius, in the mountains called the Vosges, in the 
north-east of France. At the time of his birth was 
eighteen inches long, and weighed twelve ounces, and his 



MISCELLANEOUS EPITAPHS. 221 

height at the time of his death was thirty-three inches. 
The Duke of Lorraine (Stanislaus, King of Poland) felt 
his loss severely, and gave him a magnficient funeral. 
The heart of the dwarf was embalmed, and placed in a 
mausoleum erected to his memory. On this tomb his 
portrait was engraved, with an inscription in Latin. He 
was also modelled in wax, and the statue is still preserved 
in the cabinet of the Faculty of Medicine at Paris. The 
skeleton has been preserved among the anatomical collec- 
tions of the Museum of Natural History in that city. 
The following is a translation of his epitaph : — 

Here lies 

Nicholas Ferry, 

A Lorraine, 

Nature's plaything. In virtue of the smallness of his 

stature, he was beloved by the modern 

Antoninus, 

Old in the flower of existence. For him five lustres were 

an age. 

He died the 9th of June, in the year 1764. 

The famous Robin Hood falling sick, was struck with 
remorse of conscience for his mis-spent life, and privately 
withdrew to a monastery in Yorkshire, where being bled 
by a monk he suffered himself to bleed to death. He 
died aged 42. The following is said to have been inscribed 
on the tombstone : — 

Underneath this cold marble stone, 
Through death's assault now lieth one, 
Known by the name of Robin Hood, 
Who was a thief and archer good. 



Miscellaneous epitaphs. 



Full twenty years or somewhat more, 
He robb'd the rich to feed the poor ; 
Therefore his grave bedew with tears, 
And offer for his soul your prayers. 

In the park near Kirklees, Yorkshire, was a monument 
to the memory of ROBIN HOOD, with this inscription : — 

Here, undernead dis laid stean, 

Lais Robert, Earl of Huntingtun ; 

Nea arter az hie sa geud, 

An pipl kauld him Robin Heud, 

Sich outlawz hi an iz men, 

Vil England never si agen. 

Obiit 24 Kal. Decembrio, 1247. 

In the Baptist Churchyard at Hoosick Falls, United 
States, may be seen a rude board, which marks the grave 
of Nat Shipman, the original of Fenimore Cooper's 
Deerslayer, in the well-known novel of that name, and of 
Hawkey e in " The last of the Mohicans." There are 
documents to show, beyond doubt, the authenticity of 
this grave ; and there is a movement on foot among the 
residents of Hoosick Falls to erect a monument worthy 
of a character immortalized in the romance of the 
northern wilderness. Until recently'a son-in-law of the 
" Deerslayer," named Ryan, lived in Hoosick Falls. 

At Mortho, Devon, Sir William de Tracy (one 
of the murderers of Thomas a Becket) built a church as 
a supposed expiation for his crime, and within the aisle 
his tomb still stands. An inscription in old Norman 
characters records the name and prayer of the dead : — 
Syre Willlame de Trace. . . . Dieu de sa 
alme eyt Mercy. 



MISCELLANEOUS EPITAPHS 223 

The Miller's tomb in Sussex. This curious monument 
is on Heydown Hill, near Worthing. It was erected in 
1766, by John Oliver, the miller, 27 years previous to 
his disease, April 22, 1 793, aged 84 years. The monu- 
ment is strewed with many a pious text out of the burial 
service, and some poetical inscriptions — the effusion of his 
own muse, This singular man is said to have had his 
coffin for many years before his death ; and that having 
a taste for mechanism, he caused it, upon touching a 
certain spring, to run on castors ; it was wheeled every 
night under his bed. The summer-house near the tomb 
was also built by the miller ; the delightful prospect from 
it constituted his greatest enjoyment. Oliver left twenty 
pounds per annum to keep this and the tomb from falling 
into decay. 

In Pere-la-Chaise Cemetery is the annexed inscrip- 
tion : — 

Madame Milcent, 
Died March 10, 1824, aged 38 years. 
Her death was accelerated by long sufferings, 

Which she bore with great courage. 

She carried in her body a child for eight years ; 

Twelve months living, and seven years dead. 

To prove the truth of this, Doctors Dubois and 

Belivier extracted it at her decease, when it 

was found to be well formed and 

perfectly preserved. 

It is now many years ago (1786) that the trial of 
Stoney Bowes took place. He married the Countess 
of Strathmore, whom he most cruelly tortured for years, 
but ultimately met the fate he deserved. The Countess 



224 MISCELLANEOUS EPITAPHS. 

obtained a divorce, and Bowes was ordered to pay a fine 
of ^300 to his majesty ; to be imprisoned in the King's 
Bench for three years ; at the end of that time to find 
security for fourteen years, himself in ,£10,000 and two 
sureties of ,£5,000 each. The following epitaph will more 
clearly describe this brutal man : — 

Here rests 
Who never rested before, 
The most ambitious of men ; 
For he sought not virtue, wisdom, nor 
Science ; yet rose, by deep hypocrisy, 
By the folly of some, 
And the vice of others, 
To honour, which nature had forbade, 
And riches he wanted taste to enjoy. 
He saw no faults in himself, 
Nor any worth in others. 
He was the enemy of mankind ; 
Deceitful to his friends, 
Ungrateful to his benefactors, 
Cringing to his superiors, 
And tyrannical to his dependants. 
If interest obliged him to assist 
Any fellow-creature, he regretted the 
Effect, and thought every day lost 
In which he made none wretched. 
His life was a continual series 

Of injuries to society, 

Disobedience to his Maker, 

And he only lamented in despair 

That he could offend them no longer. 



MIS C ELLA MEOUS. 225 

He rose by mean arts 

To unmerited honours, 

Which expire before himself. 

Passenger ! examine thy heart, 

If in aught thou resemble him ; 

And, if thou dost, 

Read, tremble, and reform ; 

So shall he, who living 

Was the pest of society, 

When dead be, against his will, 

Once useful to mankind. 

On the infamous Francis Chartres, who died in 
1 73 1. He was buried in Scotland, and at his funeral the 
populace raised a riot, almost tore his body from the 
cofEn, and threw dead dogs into the grave along with it. 
Dr. Arbuthnot wrote his epitaph : — 

Here continueth to rot 

The body of Francis Chartres, 

Who, with an inflexible constancy, 

and 

Inimitable importunity of life, 

Persisted, 

In spite of age and infirmities, 

In the practice of every human vice, 

Excepting prodigality and hypocrisy : 

His insatiable avarice exempted him from the first, 

His matchless impudence from the second. 

Nor was he more singular, 

In the undeviating pravity of his manners, 

Than successful 

In accumulating wealth ; 



226 MISCELLANEOUS. 

For without trade or profession, 

Without trust of public money, 

And without bribe-worthy service, 

He acquired, or more properly created, 

A ministerial estate. 

He was the only person of his time, 

Who could cheat without the mask of honesty, 

Retain his primeval meanness 

When possessed of ten thousand a year ; 

And having daily deserved the gibbet for what he did, 

Was at last condemned for what he could not do. 

Oh indignant reader ! 

Think not his life useless to mankind : 

Providence connived at his execrable designs, 

To give to after ages 

A conspicuous proof and example, 

Of how small estimation is exorbitant 

Wealth 

In the sight of God, 

By His bestowing it on one of the most 

Unworthy of all 

Mortals. 

In St. Salvador Church, Fife, is a most beautiful tomb 
of Bishop Kennedy, w T ithin which were discovered six 
magnificent maces, supposed to have been concealed in 
troublesome times. One of these was given to each of 
the Scottish universities, and three are preserved here. 

In Meigle Churchyard, Perthshire, are the remains of 
the grand sepulchral monument of Vanora, said to have 
been the wife of Prince Arthur. 



MISCELLANEOUS. 227 

In a vault under the church at Hythe, Keiit, is a re- 
markable pile of dry bones, twenty-eight feet long, and 
eight high, curiously arranged, and by the inscription, 
stated to be the remains of Danes and Britons killed in 
a battle near this place before the Norman Conquest. 

It is said that Henry II., relying on the tradition of 
several ballads which recorded Glastonbury, Somerset, to 
be the burial-place of Arthur, ordered a search to be 
made, when a leaden cross was discovered, with a Latin 
inscription in rude Gothic characters, which were thus 
translated : Here lies the famous King Arthur, buried in 
the isle of Avalow (now Glastonbury). Beneath was 
found a coffin hollowed out of the solid rock, wherein 
were the bones of a human body, supposed to be those of 
Arthur, which were afterwards deposited in the church, 
and covered with a sumptuous monument. 

The chief monument in Worcester Cathedral is that of 
King John, standing in the midst of the choir ; on each 
side of which are those of the Bishops Wolstan and 
Oswald. 

Christ Church, Monmouth, is noted for containing a 
sepulchral stone, on which is carved the figures of a man 
and woman, with their arms folded, standing on each side 
of a cross ; and a superstitious notion has prevailed that 
sick children have been miraculously cured by remaining 
all night in contact with some part of it, and it is related 
that in 1770, no less than sixteen were laid upon it. 

In St. George's Chapel, Windsor, under the choir, are 



22S MISCELLANEOUS. 



the bodies of Henry VIII. and Jane Seymour, Charles 
L, and a daughter of Queen Anne. Adjoining the east 
end is a neat building erected by Henry VII., as a burial- 
place for himself and successors. A most sumptuous 
monument was afterwards erected here by Cardinal 
Wolsey, but he dying at Leicester was there privately 
buried. 

In the parish of Kililagh, County Clare, is a burial- 
ground called " Taumple-na-Spanig," or burial-place of 
the Spaniards. A considerable number of ships, which 
composed the celebrated Spanish Armada, were wrecked 
on this coast, and thrown with their crews on shore in this 
parish. The spot where they were buried has ever since 
borne the name of their nation. 

There are in the choir of Warwick Church several 
handsome brass monuments of the ancient Earls of War- 
wick who are buried here, and one of the Earl of Essex, 
the unfortunate favourite of Queen Elizabeth. 

On the north side of the church at Kingston-on-Thames, 
is a large stone on which tradition says the Saxon kings 
sat during their coronation, and by an inscription it 
appears that some of these kings were crowned in the 
market-place, and others in the chapel. 

In Alford Church, Kent, is a handsome monument, 
400 years old, to the memory of a Countess of Athol. 

In the Market-place at Devizes, in Wiltshire^ is a stone 
recording the Divine vengeance inflicted on an unhappy 
woman, who suddenly expired whilst in the act of im- 



MISCELLANEOUS. 229 

precating the Divine curses on her own head, if she had 
not paid for some corn which she had purchased, though 
the money was afterwards found clutched in her hand. 

In Draycott Churchyard, Staffordshire, may be seen 
one of the pyramidal stones with which the Danes are 
said to have marked the graves of their great men. 

In the chancel of Honington Church, Wiltshire, is a 
black marble monument to the memory of G. Stanley, 
Gent, who died 1719, aged 151. 

At Hatfield Church, Essex, is a curious monument and 
cross-legged effigy to the memory of Robert Vere, the 
first Earl of Oxford, Lord High Chamberlain of England. 

In the parish of Cahircorney, near Limerick, are the 
remains of the tomb of an ancient Irish outlaw, celebrated 
for his numerous robberies and musical compositions, 
named " Edmund of the Hill." 

In Keighley Church, Yorkshire, is a very ancient tomb- 
stone which bears date 1023. 

At Festiniog, Merioneth, are some stone monuments, 
called " Bedhew Gwyr Ardudwy," said to be the sepul- 
chral monuments of some persons of note slain in battle 
between the men of Dyffryn Ardudwy and the men of 
Denbigh. 

In the cathedral at Icolmkill, one of the Hebrides, are 
many curious tombs to the memory of the lords of the 



230 MISCELLANEO VS. 

isles. Here also is an enclosed burying-ground contain- 
ing the tombs of forty-eight Scottish kings, four kings of 
of Ireland, eight of Norway, and one of France, all buried 
here from the supposed sanctity of the ground. 

There is a stone at Bowes Church, in Yorkshire, with 
an inscription on it to the Emperor Adrian. This stone 
was used in the beginning of the last century as a com- 
munion table. 

In Clynnog Church, Carnarvon, is a tomb of St. Bueno, 
and resting on the tomb of this saint for one night was 
once held to be a certain cure for all diseases. The way 
of preparing the tomb was by covering it over with 
rushes, and the patients, after being washed in the neigh- 
bouring well, remained on it from night till morning. 

In Bridlington Churchyard, Yorkshire, is a tombstone 
with this short inscription : 1542, THOMAS NEWMAN, 
aged 153. 

There is an epitaph at Coftgrove Church, Yorkshire, 

to John Wincupp, which states that he was rector 54 

years ; was never concerned in any lawsuit ; was married 

52 years, had six children all living ; and that he died in 

.1637, aged 86 years. 

It appears from an ancient inscription in the church- 
yard of Alford, Surrey, that several Frenchmen took 
refuge from the massacre of St. Bartholomew, and set up 
a glass manufactory here. 

At Lamei'ton Church, Devon, are the effigies of 



MISCELLANEOUS. 23 1 

Nicholas and Andrew Tremaine, twins, who were so like 
each other as scarcely to be distinguished. They were 
subject to the same pains, the same appetites, although at 
a considerable distance, and they were killed at Newhaven 
in 1663. 

In Llandaff Church is a monument representing an 
emaciated corpse in a winding-sheet, in which the ap- 
pearance of death, brought on by a long sickness, is 
admirably pourtrayed. 

In the chancel of Clieam Church, Surrey ', is a monu- 
ment to the memory of Lady Jane Lumley, who died 
in 1577, and who translated the Iphigenia of Euripides 
and some of the orations of Isocrates into English, as 
well as one of the latter into Latin. 

An old square tower stands in the churchyard of Ard- 
braccan, Meath, and the learned and indefatigable eastern 
traveller, Bishop Pococke, was interred here in 1765. 

At Driffield, Yorkshire, in 1784, a stone coffin was 
found, in which was a skeleton supposed to be the 
remains of Alfred the Great, there being in the chancel 
wall an inscription to that effect. 

In Eweline Church, Oxon, is a curious monument of a 
former Duchess of Suffolk, with the Order of the Garter 
round her left arm. 

In Aberconway Churchyard, Carnarvon, is an inscrip- 
tion on a tomb of one Nicholas Hocker, importing 
that he was the one and fortieth child of his father, and 
had twenty-seven children himself. 



MISCELLANEOUS. 



Lancrcost Priory, near Naworth, Cumberland. Its 
remains consist of the priory church, and some few of the 
offices of the monastery, fitted up for a farm-house. In 
the chancel, which is in ruins, amidst shrubs, brambles, 
and nettles, appear several very elegant tombs of the 
Dacre family. On a stone on the inside of the east 
wall is the following inscription : — Robert de Vallibus, 
the son of Herbert, Lord of Gisland, founder of the priory 
of Lanercost, a.d. 1116. 

By the side of the Abbey Church, Paisley, in a small 
vaulted chapel, is the monument of Marjery Bruce, 
daughter of King Robert Bruce, and near it are the 
graves of Elizabeth Muie and Ephemia Ross, both 
consorts to Robert II. 

On the east side of the portico of Stepney Church there 
is a stone with an inscription stating it to have been 
brought from the ruins of Carthage, and in the wall over 
the south portico is an ancient Saxon sculpture of the 
Crucifixion. 

At Monastesboyce Abbey, Louth, Ireland, and west of 
one of the chapels, is a large stone cross with the name 
of Muredoch, King of Ireland, A.D. 520, still legible in 
large Irish characters. And in the ruin of one of the 
seven churches which once adorned Glendalough, i.e., 
" The valley of the two lakes," in the county of Wicklow, 
is still shown a monument of the ancient Irish chieftain, 
O'TOOLE. 

An inscription upon a tablet in a graveyard in County 



MISCELLANEOUS. 233 



Down, near Belfast : This is the grave of , wife of 

, who died on board the Scotia, May 24th, 1866, 

aged fifty-four. She died the death of the Christian, con- 
fessing the Son of God. Accept, O Ellen, the last 
honours I can pay thee. When living, thou wert much 
beloved by me. When dead, did I leave till I placed 
thee by the side of thy father ? I David, love, do this. I 
will, Ellen, if prayer and gold can do it ; for who can 
make an ocean grave ? Farewell, my loved wife, though 
you have not left me, you have only first stepped into the 
lovely land of Jesus Christ, where we shall bid each other 
good morning, and sing together with my mother and 
thy mother, whom thou didst love with all thy great heart 
and mind, that new song we shall never weary to sing. 

On the south side of the altar in Tewkesbury Church 
is a monument of delicate sculpture and beautiful pro- 
portions, in four stages of open arched work, with a tomb 
beneath, surrounded by an embattled border, and the 
sides ornamented alternately with double and single 
arches. On the tomb are the effigies of a knight and his 
lady. The former wears a round helmet, gorget, and 
hauberk of mail ; at his feet is a lion, with a griffin's 
head for a crest. The lady has a dog at her feet, and 
appears in the square head-dress so commonly seen on 
tombs erected in the reign of Edward III. 

Tradition assigns these figures to George, Duke OF 
Clarence, brother to Edward IV., and his Duchess, 
Isabel, who were both buried here ; but it is not so, for 
neither the architectural decorations of the tomb, nor the 
dresses of the figures in any respect correspond with 
those of the latter part of the 1 5th century, but exactly 



234 MISCELLANEOUS. 

resemble those of the reign of Edward III. Indeed, it 
appears that this splendid monument was erected to the 
memory of Hugh le Despenser and Elizabeth, who 
both died in the reign of Edward III. 

Another splendid monument on the north side is en- 
closed by the sepulchral chapel founded by Isabel 
Countess of Warwick over the remains of Richard 
Beauchamp, Earl of Worcester, her first husband, who 
was slain at the siege of Meaux, in France, in March, 
1421. 

A surcoat of arms long obscured authenticates an 
effigy, denominated by tradition " the king-making Earl 
of Warwick," to be that of Edmund Baron Despenser, 
a hero on the field of Poictiers, who died in the year 
1375. 

The monuments to the abbots, as a matter of course, 
are numerous and exceedingly rich. In the south aisle is 
the tomb of Alanus, the friend and biographer of 
Thomas a Becket, who died in the year 1202. In the 
south aisle of the nave, against the wall, is a monument 
of Edmund Beaufort, the Duke of Somerset, beheaded 
after the battle of Tewkesbury. 

The large blue slab shown as protecting the remains 
of the brave Prince Edward, so barbarously treated 
by his ruthless captors, retains no indications of its pre- 
tensions, its brasses having been removed ; indeed, there 
is no authority for his having been buried in the spot. 
" His bodie," says Hollingshed, " was homelie interred 
with the other simple corpses." The probability is that 
he was thrown into one common grave with the other 
victims of the battle, who, on the Lancasterian side alone, 



MISCELLANEOUS. 235 

numbered 3000,— as many as were slain at Waterloo, in 
this the age of gunpowder, rifles, and cannon. 

Syson has preserved the following inscription from a 
gravestone in the churchyard of Curshalton, Surrey, to the 
memory of Thomas Humphreys, a barber (noted equally 
for his corpulence and his activity as a dancer) : — 

Tom Humphreys lies here, by death beguiled, 
Who never did harm to man, woman, or child ; 
And since without foe no man e'er was known, 
Poor Tom was nobody's foe but his own. 
Lay light on him, earth, for none would than he 
(Though heavy his bulk) trip it lighter on thee. 

In the churchyard of St. Madron, in Cornwall, is 
the often-quoted inscription on George Daniel : — 

Belgia me birth, Britain me breeding gave, 
Cornwall a wife, ten children, and a grave. 

Somewhat between the reverence of the old time and 
such doggrel as the above, is the monument in the church 
of St. Paul, to the memory of Stephen Hutchens, who 
died in 1709, leaving money for the repair of the church, 
and for dwellings for twelve poor persons in the parish. 
An allusion to the 112th Psalm informs the bystander 
that the said Stephen " saw his desire upon his enemies." 
The monument is in the Westminster Abbey style of that 
era, with representations of shattered vessels, warlike 
instruments, and trophies, with a profile of Queen Anne. 
The Cornish inscription above redeems the tomb from 
contempt : — 

15 * 



236 MISCELLANEOUS. 

Bounas heb dueth Eu poes Karens wei 
Tha Pobl Behodzhak Paull han Egles nei. 

Which is thus translated : — 

Eternal life be his whose loving care 

Gave Paul an almshouse and the Church repair. 

At St. Martin's Church, Stamford, Lincolnshire : — 

In remembrance of that prodigy in nature, Daniel 
Lambert, a native of Leicester, who was possessed of an 
excellent and convivial mind, and in personal greatness 
he had no competitor. He measured three feet one inch 
round the legs, nine feet four inches round the body, and 
weighed 52 stone 11 lb. He departed this life on the 
2 1 st of June, 1809, aged 39 years. As a testimony of 
respect this stone is erected by his friends in Leicester. 

N.B.— The stone of 14 lb. 

His coffin, consisting of 112 superficial feet of elm, was 
rolled upon two axletrees to the grave. 

On the tombstone of James Weir, in the parish of 
Carluke, Scotland, is the following inscription : — 

This child, when only 13 months old, measured three 
feet four inches in height, 39 inches round the thigh, and 
weighed five stone. He was pronounced by the faculties 
of Edinburgh and Glasgow to be the most extraordinary 
child of his age upon record. 

In the old churchyard at Leith an inscription denotes 
the resting-place of Ellen Neilson, spouse of Thomas 



I 



MISCELLANEOUS. 237 

Gladstone, merchant, in Leith, who died July 17th, 
1800, aged 66 years ; and of Thomas Gladstone, 
husband of Ellen, who died the nth of May, 1809, aged 
76 years. Thomas Gladstone, who is thus commemorated, 
was a prosperous trader in Leith. By his marriage with 
Ellen, daughter of Walter Neilson, of Springfield, he 
became father of Sir John Gladstone, Baronet, of Fasque, 
who was born at Leith on the nth of December, 1764. 
Sir John's fourth son, the Right Honourable William 
Ewart Gladstone, after a distinguished career as a states- 
man, obtained the Premiership in 1868. 

In Hammersmith Church is a monument of black and 
white marble, above which is a bust of Charles I., be- 
neath this inscription : — 

This effigy was 

erected by the special appointment of 

Sir Nicholas Crispe, Knight and Baronet, 

as a grateful commemoration of that 

glorious martyr, King Charles 

the First, of blessed 

memory. 

Beneath is an urn, and on the pedestal that supports it 
are these lines : — 

Within this urn is entombed the heart of Sir Nicholas 
Crispe, Knight and Baronet, a loyal sharer in the suffer- 
ings of his late and present Majesty. He first settled in 
the trade of gold from Guinea, and there built the castle 
of Cormantine. Died the 26th of February, 1665, a S e d 
67 years. 



238 MISCELLANEOUS. 

The body of Sir Nicholas lies in St. Mildred's, Bread 
Street. He was the founder of Brandenburgh House ; 
improved the arts of paper-making, powder-making, and 
brick-making ; gave ^700 towards the building of Ham- 
mersmith Church, besides beautifying the building, and 
his charities to the poor were equal to his bounties in 
other directions. 



INDEX 






TO EPITAPHS AND OBSEQUIES. 




Abraham mourning 


PAGE 

8 


Abbott, Mordecai 






66 


Abbott, On an . 






J 3i 


Actors, On 




135, 


136, 141 


Adam's place of Sepulture 






2 


Adams, John, Carrier 






108 


Adams, Julia . 






181 


Adrian, Emperor 






230 


^Eschylus 






125 


Alanus 






234 


Aldersey, William 






5o 


Aldridge, Thomas 






183 


Alfred the Great 






231 


Alston, Ned . 






178 


Aleppo, Custom at 






9 


Anglesea, Leg of Marquis of 






197 


Anne's (Queen), daughter 






228 


Antrum, Johannes 






66 


Arabia 






4 


Arragon, Catherine of . 






209 


a 




IK 


* 



240 



INDEX. 



Architect, On an 

Aretine, Peter . 

Argyle, Marquis of 

Arthur, King . 

Arthur, Prince . 

Ashford, Mary. 

Asia Minor, Burial-places in 

Astrologer, On an 

Athenians 

Athol, Countess of, Monument of 

Author, On an . 

Bachelor, On a 

Bacon, William 

Bactrians, Disposal of their Dead 

Bagshaw, Edward and Margaret 

Baker, On a 

Balerians 

Bancroft, Archbishop 

Ban well, Churchwarden's account 

Barber, On a . 

Barford, Susanna 

Barham, James 

Barker, Cornelius 

Basset, Richard 

Batchelor, Nell 

Battay, Sarah . 

Beauchamp, Richard 

Beaufort, Edmond 

Bedberie, John. 

Bedford, Earl of 

Bee, Cornelius . 

Beggar, On a Cornish 

Benhew, Gwr Ardudwy 

Beighton, Rev. 



INDEX. 



241 



Belle, On a 

Bell Founder, On a 

Bellows Maker, On a 

Bell Ringer, On a 

Ben Honest 

Bent, Jane 

Bertha, Queen . 

Blackadder, Rev. J. 

Blakett, Joseph 

Blacksmith, On a 

Bloomfield, Robert 

Blundon 

Boardman, Richard 

Boat, Judge 

Bodger, Samuel 

Bolait, Jane de 

Bolleit, Clarice 

Bond, Thomas, and Wife 

Boo, Prince Lee 

Bourne, Hannah 

Bowen, Matilda 

Bowes, Stoney 

Box, Mr. 

Boy, On a 

Boxer, Muster Thomas 

Boyer, Christine 

Brian, Teague O' 

Brassgirdle, Justinian 

Bride, On a 

Brawne 

Brewer, On a Liverpool 

Brickmaker, On a 

Bride, On a 

Bridgewater, Hannah and Elizabeth 

Britons, Ancient 



123 

235 
217, 235 



16 



242 



INDEX. 



PAGE 


Brittany, Lower, Custom at . . .15 


Brocas, Arnaldus 






215 


Brockitwell, John 






218 


Brothers, On two 






175 


Brown, Maria 






177 


Bruce, Marjery 






232 


Buchannan, George 






215 


Buel, Mrs. Mary 






208 


Bueno, St. 






230 


Builder, On a . 






91 


Bunn, John 






144 


Burgoin, Will 






US 


Burke, Richard 






186 


Burmese Mode of Sepulture 






IO 


Bvsby, Thomas 






46 


Butler, Samuel 






139, HO 


Button, Richard 






173 


Byng, Admiral, John 






121 


Byron, Lord, On a Dog belonging to 




199 


Cadman, John .... 


184, 185 


Calverley, Sir Hugh 




217 


Cameron, Dr. Archibald . 






117 


Card Maker, On a 






94 


Carpenter, On a 






167 


Carter, R. 






171 


Carthew, Joan . 






193 


Carrie, On, aged 15 






23 


Carrier, On a . 






108 


Catherine, Queen 






' 210 


Caves, Theophilus 






196 


Caxton, William 






86 


Chad. 






15 


Chairman, On an Irish 






156 


Chaldeans, Mode of Sepulture ofth 


£ 




5 



INDEX. 


243 




PAGE 


Chambers, Ephraim 


. I 7 6 


Chard, Dr. 




114 


Charles I. 




2l6, 228, 237 


Charles, On Poor 




l60 


Charlton, John . 




98 


Chartres, Francis 




225 


Cherriman, George 




47 


Cheshyre, Robert 




27 


Chest, Rev. 




194 


Child, On a 




36, 59, 77 


Children, On three 




36 


Children, On two 




170 


Chinese Obsequies 




. 8—10 


Churchyard, German Name for a 




9 


Circassian Obsequies 




12 


Clarence, Duke of 




233 


Clay, Cecil 




109 


Clergymen, On . 66, 


128, 129, 


130, 131, 132, 133 


Clerk's Son, On a 




• 163 


Coachman, On a Stage . 




in 


Coach Proprietor, On a . 




101 


Cobbler, On a . . . 


» 


. 92, 185 


Cobbold, Marian E. 




84 


Cobham's, Lord, Dog 




197 


Colchians, Treatment of their Dead. 




6 


Coleridge, Samuel Taylor 




140 


Cole, Rev. W. 




129 


Collyer, Rev. Abel 




66 


Colnett, Rev. . 




131 


Combe, Tom 0' 




147 


Combe, John 0' 




146 


Comedians, On 




134, 135, 148 


Congoese, Treatment of their Dead. 




11 


Conversational Epitaph . 




154 


Cook, On a . 




. 99, 107 



244 



INDEX. 



Cooke, Thomas 

Coram, Captain Thomas 

Corbett, Mrs. Elizabeth 

Cormach, A. Mac 

Cornish Beggar, On a 

Coroner, On a . 

Coster, Claude . 

Cotton, Rev. J. 

Covenanters, On the 

Crab tree, Thomas 

Cricketer, On a 

Crisp, Sir Nicholas 

Croker, S. P. . 

Cromarty, Burial-place of the family of 

Crossfield, Dr. 

Crowley, Sir Ambrose 

Crouch, R. 

Cruickshanks, Rev. J. 

Crumbleholme, Samuel 

Crytoft, Robert 

Cullam, Sarah . 

Curtis, William 

Curtis, Sir W. . 

Danes, Burial-place of 

Danish Soldiers, On two 

Daniel, George. 

Daughter, On a dutiful 

Davis, Rev. George 

Death, Mr. and Mrs. 

Dent, John 

Despenser, Hugh Le, and Wife 

Devonshire, Earl of, and his Wife 

Dickie, Molly . 

Dickens, William 



IXDEX. 



245 



PAGE 

73 

41 

113, 114, 115, 116, 117 

199 

198 

165 

176 

104 

92 

180 

157 
118 
152 
112 

203 
93. 94 

218 
194 

48 

229 

234 

4, 5, 9 

80 

22 
202 

24 
85, 95 

96 

4—7 
181 

28, 48 
23, 28, 32, 33, 34, 39, 51 
on Infants 33, 36, 44, 59, 74, 75, 81, 82, 153, 171 

on three Children . . 36, 58, 192 



Dickonson, Grace 

Digby, Lady Mary 

Doctors, On 

Dog, On a Newfoundland 

Dog, On a, at Stow 

Downie, Macom 

Drake, John 

Draper, On a . 

Drunken Cobbler, On a . 

Dudley, Joseph and Waiter 

Dudley, Mr., his Wife and two Sons 

Dunch, Captain John 

D'Urfey, Tom . 

Dustman, On a . 

Duval, Ivalsir . 

Dyer, On a 

Eadburga 

Eater, On a great 

Eaton, Richd. F. 

Edmund of the Hill 

Edward, Prince 

Egypt, Mode of Sepulture in 

Eldred, Charles. 

Elegant Epitaphs . 

Elizabeth, Daughter of John of Gaunt 

Elphinstone, James 

Engineer, On an 

Engine Driver, On an 

England 

Epicure, On an 

Epitaphs on a Wife 

„ on Young Ladies 



246 



INDEX. 



Epitaphs, on a Family 

,, from the French 

,, on a Friend 

, , on a Writer of Long 

, , Elegant 

„ Miscellaneous . 
Essex, Earl of . 
Estella 

Ethiopians, Obsequies of . 
Eve, Supposed Burial-place of 

Fairclough, Richard 

Fane, Sir Edward 

Fenton, Elijah 

Ferguson, John 

Ferry, Nicholas 

Fido, Signor (a Dog) 

Fidoe, Rev. A. 

Fifer, On a 

Fish, Mr. 

Flavel, Thomas 

Fletcher, Mrs. 

Fletcher, Thomas, Rev. . 

Floyer, Mrs. A. 

Foche, Elizabeth 

Fox, Henry 

Foxhounds, On a Master of 

Fool, On a 

Foote, Samuel 

Frank and Betty 

Franklin, Benjamin 

Freeland, Mrs. Rebecca . 

French Observances at Funerals 

Freer, Nathaniel 

Friend, on a 



INDEX. 




247 


PAGE 


Game, John . . . . .60 


Gammon, Rev. J. 






67 


Gay, John 






140 


Gedge, L. 






87 


Gee, Ellen (a Dirge) 






179 


George III., On the Father of 






149 


Georgian Funerals 






12 


German Name for a Churchyard 






9 


Giles, Old 






99 


Gladstone, Ellen, Thos., and J. B. 






237 


Godbold, Nathaniel 






206 


Godfrey, Dr. . 






114 


Godfrey, Sir Anthony Bury 






IOI 


Goldsmith, Oliver 






142 


Goldsmith, On a 






92 


Gore, Dame Elizabeth 






40 


Gray, Katherine 






98 


Greek Customs 






2, 5, 13 


Greenfat, Sir Humphrey . 






99 


Greentree, Isaac 






159 


Gregory, Pope, Enactment by 






7 


Greyhound, On an Italian 






198 


Griffith, Jane . 






34 


Griffiths, George 






125 


Grim, Mulciber 






88 


Gripe, Old 






146 


Grocer, On a . 






106 


Grose, Francis . 






148 


Grotesque Epitaphs 






144 


Gryphe 






87 


Guinea, Funereal Customs at 






11 


Guise, Sir John 






160 


Gunter, James . 






26 


Guy, Thomas . 






39 


Gwynn, Martha 






172 



2 4 8 



INDEX. 



Hall, John 

Hall, Randle . 

Hall, Mrs. Susannah 

Hancock, The Family of 

Hannibal, the Son of Bur Melech 

Hanson, Captain 

Harckness, James 

Harper, Roger, and Wife 

Harsnett, Archbishop 

Haseli, Lieut. -Col. W. B. 

Haselton, Mary 

Hathaway, Rose 

Hatherleigh, Custom at 

Hawke, Lord . 

Haysell, Lieut. -Col. W. B. 

Heiwood, Peter 

Henry V. 

„ VII. . 

„ VIII. . 
Hen-pecked Squire, On a 
Herbert, of Gisland 
Hermit, On a . 
Herodotus, A Quotation from 
Henili Women, Account of 
Hewlin, William 
Hexham, Custom at 
Highwayman, On a 
Higley, John . 
Hill, Captain . 
Hill, George . 
Hill, John 
Hindoo Custom 
Hippisley, John 
Hiseland, William 
Hitchen, Jane . 



INDEX. 



249 



Hocker, Nicholas 

Hodgkins, Mira 

Hogarth, William 

Holme, Rev. Benjamin „ 

Holmes, Thomas 

Hollingshead, Matthew . 

Holy Willie, On 

Honeywood, Rev. Michael 

Hood, Robin . 

Hookes, Nicholas 

Honest Fellow, On an 

Horwood, Miss 

Hottentots, Disposal of their Dead 

Hough, Thomas 

Howling at Funerals 

Humble, Richard 

Huddlestone, Thomas 

Hughes, Ann . 

Humbrick, Jeems 

Humphreys, Thomas 

Huntingtun, Earl of 

Huntsman, On a 

Husband and Wife, On a 

Husbands, On three 

Hutchens, Stephen 

Huxley, John . 

Ichthyophagi, Disposal of their Dead 

Ilger, John 

Infants, On three 

Innkeepers, On 

Irish Kings, Burial-place of 

Irish Chairman, On an . 

Isabel, Duchess of Clarence 

Isuel, Peter 



231 

81 

135 
70 

67 
158 
186 
132 
221 
208 
167 

14 

11 

202 

13 

39 

175 

149 

164 

235 
222 
no 
168, 169 
168 
235 
194 

6 
132 

58 

9, 190 

230 

156 

233 
100 



250 



INDEX. 



Ivalsir, Son of Duval 



PAGE 

203 



Jackson, Albina 

Jackson, John . 

Jackson, George 

James, Elias 

James, John 

Jeffery, Daniel 

Jenyns, Ralph, and Wife 

Jeremiah, On, an old Pauper 

John, King, Monument of 

Johnson, Mrs. Ann 

Johnson, Dr. Samuel 

Jonson, Ben, Son of 

Jones, Elizabeth 

Jones, Captain 

Jones, Joseph . 

Jones, William 



Keeling, William 
Kemp, Thomas 
Kemp, Mrs. Robert 
Kendrick, Richard 
Kennedy, Bishop 
Kenwick, James 
Kildare, Earl of 
Knollys, Mrs. Ann 



Lady, On a . 

Lambe, Edward 

Lambert, Daniel 

Landor, W. S. 

Laplanders, Funeral observances of 

Latimer, Nicholas 



INDEX. 



251 



Laurie, John . 

Lawyer, On a . 

Lee, John 

Lee, Mrs., and her son Tom 

Leg, On a 

Letter Founder, On a 

Lewars, Jessy . 

Lewes, Jonathan 

Lewis, Bryant . 

Lightfoot, Bernard 

Lilburn, Mary . 

Lilley, William 

Lilliard, Maiden 

Lillywhite 

Linen Draper, On a 

Linnaeus 

Lisle, Sir George 

Little Jemmy . 

Long, Miss 

Looney, Lady O' 

Lords of the Isles, 

Lucas, Sir Charles 

Lumber, Hugh 

Lumley, Lady Jane 

Luther, Martin 

Lyttleton, Lucy 

Maiden crossed in love, On a 

Malmsbury, William of 

Manning, Rev. O. 

McFee, J., and Wife 

Magin, Thomas 

Magistrate, On a 

Marie, On 

Marr, Timothy, his Wife and Son 



Burial-place of the 



PAGE 

186 



252 INDEX. 






PAGE 


Martyr, On a . 


• 74, 130 


Master Rob .... 


96 


Master, William 


219 


Maton, J. and A., On three Children of 


79 


Maurice, Anne C. . 


47 


Mayor, Lord, On a 


104 


Meekie, On, a Schoolmaster 


106 


Mercy, Francois de . 


125 


Messer, Tammy 


90 


Menestrier, Jean le . 


175 


Meynell, Mary 


59 


Middleburgh, Custom at 


13 


Middleditch, William 


123 


Millicent, Madame 


223 


Miller, Joe ' . 


134 


Mills, John .... 


no 


Mingrelians, Obsequies of 


12 


Minors, Captain W. 


118 


Miscellaneous Epitaphs . 


201 


Misers, On . . . 145, 


146, 147 


Molesworth, Lady . 


205 


Molesworth, Viscount, and Wife 


25 


More .... 


145, 187 


Moore, Robert, and Wife 


172 


Morgan, Edward . 


202 


Morrison, Janet 


26 


Morton, Mrs. Mary 


207 


Morton, Roger 


194 


Mother and Child, On a . 


188 


Mother and three Daughters 


175 


Mounsey, Dr. . 


116 


Mud, Matthew . 


173 


Mudd, On a Stump Orator named . 


136 


Muie, Eilizabeth . 


232 


Muredock, King . 


232 



INDEX. 



253 



Naturalist, On a 

Neilson, Ellen 

Newfoundland Dog, On a 

Newman, Thomas 

None 

Nootka Sound, Mode of Interment at 

Northamptonshire, Custom in 

Norwegian Kings, Burial-place of 

Obsequies, Remarks on . 

O' Brian, Teague 

Okey, Samuel . 

Officers and Privates killed in action 

Old Man, On an 

Old Maid, On an 

Oliver, John 

Ooden, Betsey . 

Oonalaska, Mode of interment at 

Orator, On a Stump 

Oswald, Bishop 

O'Toole 

Otaheite, Custom in 

Oxford, Earl of 

Pacific Islanders, Mourning of 

Pady, James 

Painter, On a . 

Palfreyman, J. . 

Palmerston, Lord, On the Parents of 

Parish Clerk, On a 

Parker (a Coachman) 

Parker, Admiral, On a Daughter of 

Park-keeper, On a 

Parkins, Thomas 

Parson, On a . 



254 



INDEX. 



Partridge, J. 

Parr, Thomas . 

Parret, S., and Wife 

Passingham, Richard 

Paston, Mrs. M. 

Pauper, On a . 

Pearce, Dickey 

Peck, Mr. 

Pedestrian, On a 

Pembruge, Catherine 

Penton, Rev. S. 

Pennyman, John 

Percival, Jane . 

Periwinkles, On a Crier of 

Persians, Customs of the . 

Peter, Alexander 

Phillips, Anne . 

Philpots, Richard 

Philosopher, On a 

Physician, On a 

Pickering, Sophia Olive 

Pie-Woman, On a 

Pig, On a 

Pin Maker, On a 

Plessis, Cardinal 

Pococke, Bishop 

Poet Laureate, On a 

Pomponazzi 

Poor Man, On a 

Portmans, Elizabeth 

Pottery Shop, On a Keeper of a 

Powell, Vavasor 

Prichard, R. , and Wife 

Prince of Wales, Frederick 

Printers, On . 



153, 



114, 



PAGE 

Il6 

202 

204 

31 

37 
163 
180 

195 
192 

30 
129 

62 

62 

no 

3-6 

99 
206 
166 
102 
117 

79 
108 
200 

96 

131 
231 
141 
102 

154, 170 

65 
98 

7i 

188 

149 

86, 87 



116, 



INDEX. 




255 






PAGE 


Proctor, Thomas 




172 


Professional Epitaphs 




85 


Prynne, William 




I IO 


Publican, On a 




93> 189 


Punster, On a . 




188 


Purdue, Thomas 




93 


Puzzling Epitaphs 87, 112, 114, 136, 151, 


158 160, 1 


83, 196, 


Quack, On a . 




in 


Quarrelsome Man, On a . 




191 


Quick, William 




171 


Quin, James 




141 


Raid, Frank 




100 


Rainsbrough, Col. Thos. . 




124 


Ramsay, Allan 




141 


Randell, John . 




. 187 


Rand, Ned 




191 


Reed, Isaac 




189 


Remnant, Stephen 




157 


Reson, Ellen . 




151 


Rigg, J. and A., On six Children of 




74 


Robin Hood . 




221, 222 


Robinson, W. and A. , On two Children of 




83 


Roper, Henry . 




160 


Rosamond, Fair 




203 


Rose, Edward . 




213 


Rose, Miss 




5i 


Ross, Ephemia 




232 


Ross, John 




165 


Round, John . 




173 


Routleigh, George 




94 


Royston, Sarah 




3i 


Ruling Elder, On a 




. 185 


Rumbold, S. . 




192 



256 



INDEX. 



Runic Inscription 
Russell, Lord . 
Russian Obsequies 

Sailors, On 
Sapper, Thomas 
Sardanapalus . 
Satirist, On a . 
Saul, Daniel 
Scarron 

Schoolmaster, On a 
Scolding Woman, On a 
Scot, Grace 
Scots, Mary Queen of 
Scott, John 
Scott, Margery . 
Scott, Maria . 
Scottish Kings . 
Scottish Martyrs 
Sellars, Ann and Isaac 
Selwyn, John . 
Serle, William . 
Sexton, On a . 
Sexton, Sarah . 
Seymour, Jane 
Shakspeare, William 
Sharpless, Will 
Shaw, John 
Sheepstealer, On a 
Shenstone, William 
Shipman, Nat . 
Shipton, Mother 
Shoemaker, On a 
Shorthose, Tom 
Shute, Amos . 



203 

205 

10 

118, 119, 120, 121, 122 

174 
103 



190 

57 
209 

•93 
177 

78 
230 

54 
169 
209 

45 
189 

H5 
228 

136, 137, 138 



INDEX. 




257 


PAGE 


Silo, Prince . . . . .158 


Simon, On 






. 165 


Sises, On six . 






160 


Skelton, Joseph 






141 


Skern and Wife 






214 


Skypwith, Richard 






49 


Smith, Francis 






64 


Smith, Isaac . 






123 


Smith, John, Alderman . 






14 


Smith, Lucia . 






63 


Smyth, Henry 






97 


Smollett, Dr. Tobias George 






117 


Smuggler, On a 






189 


Snell, Martha . 






184 


Soldiers, On 


122, 123, 


124, 125, 


126, 127 


Solicitor, On a 






151 


Somerset, Duke of 






234 


Southiel, Ursula 






205 


Spalding, Joseph 






122 


Spaniards, Burial-place of the 






228 


Sparks, Charlotte 






203 


Speid, Alexander 






193 


Stafford, Dr. . 






117 


Stage Coachman, On a . 






in 


Stanley, G. 






229 


Stanley, Sir Thomas 






138 


Statesman, On a 






106 


Stephenson, Joseph 






25 


Stewart, — 






38 


Steele, Mrs. 






22 


Steele, Pat 






163 


Stiller, Peter . 






173 


Stocker, Mannetta 






220 


Stokes, Simon, On the wife of 






144 


Stone 






H5 



17 * 



258 



INDEX. 



Stone, Captain 
Strange, Mr. . 
Stozzi, Leon . 
Suffolk, Duchess of 
Suffolk, Earl of 
Sundry Epitaphs 
At Aberlemno 

Amsterdam 

Bath Abbey 

Belper 

Birmingham 

Boughton 

Brighton . 

Cirencester 

Corley 

County Down 

Creton . 

Derby 

Ditchington 

Dover 

Edworth . 

Grinstead (West) 

Hadleigh 

Heme Bay 

Islington (St. Mary ! 

Lougher . 

Lymington 

Melrose . 

Nayland . 

Old St. Pancras 

Old St. Paul's 

Sevenoaks 

Waltham Abbey 

Winstone 

Woolstanton 



s) 



1 20 
231 

180 
44, 51, 209 
212 
182 
161 



INDEX. 



259 





PAGE 


Style, Lieut. -Col. W. . 


70 


Swannell, James and Harriet 


59 


Swearing Woman, On a . 


228 


Swenos Stone, The . 


215 


Swinburne, Martha . 


52 


S within, St., Instructions for his burial 


15 


Sydney, Sir Philip . 


112 


Sykes, John .... 


167 


Syl 


90 


Sylvester, Mrs. H. . 


68 


Sylla, Cornelius, The Funeral of . 


5 


Symons, William 


170 


Tailor, On a . 


IOO, IOI 


Tartars, Ceremonies of . 


12 


Taylor, Rev. Robert 


133 


Taylor, Dr. Rowland 


130 


Teetotaller, On a 


191 


Thomas and his Wife . • . 


. 163 


Thomas, Mary . . >, . 


68 


Thomson, James 


. 138 


Thurston, Nat, and his six Wives . 


204 


Thwaits, Francis 


82 


Tibullus .... 


142 


Tiffey, Jack .... 


188 


Timocreon .... 


152 


Tommy, On Poor 


. 165 


Tonson, Jacob 


86 


Tracy, Sir W. de 


222 


Trade Epitaphs 


85 


Transposing Epitaph 


158 


Traps, Robert .... 


92 


Tremaine, Nicholas and Andrew . 


231 


Trivulcius .... 


152 


Trollope, Robert 


9i 



260 



INDEX. 



Tucker, Edward 

Turberville, Dr. D'Aubigny 

Turks, Funeral Solemnities of the 

Turvill, Judy . 

Twistleton, Elizabeth 

Two Lovers, On 

Tyrer, Rev. Ralph 

Undertaker, On an 
Underwood, Captain 
Unknown, On one 

Vallibus, R. de 

Vanbrugh, Sir John 

Vanora, Wife of Prince^ Arthur 

Vere, Robert . 

Vernon, Thomas 

Verheyen, Philip 

Vincent, Nathaniel 

Virgil 

Wake, Mr. 

Wakely, William F. 

Wales, Prince Frederic of 

Walker, John . 

Wallis, Robert 

Walter, Son of Thurulf . 

Walton, Henry 

Walworth, Sir William . 

Wang, Henry . 

Warner, John . 

Warwick, Earl and Countess of 

Watchmaker, On a 

Waterhouse, Rev. Joshua 



INDEX. 




261 


PAGE 


Watt, James . 95 


Weaver, On a . 






89 


Webb, Frederick 






IOI 


Wee Johnnie . 






. 185 


Weir, James 






236 


West, Ann 






182 


West, Gilbert, On the ancestors of 






38 


Whitehead, Paul 






140 


Wicker, William 






47 


Wife, On a . 




149, 


150, 169 


Wilson, Bishop 






133 


Wilson, Henry 






209 


Wilson, William 






188 


Williams, David 






159 


Williams, William 






32 


Willing, William 






176 


Willis, Caroline 






25 


Wincupp, John 






230 


Witty Epitaphs 






144 


Wix, William . 






169 


Wolsey, Cardinal, Monument of 






228 


Woodcock, Sir Thomas 






155 


Woodcock, William 






144 


Woodier, Mrs. 






152 


Woodman, On a 






104 


Wool-dresser, On a 






90 


W T oollett, William 






102 


Woolstan, Bishop 






227 


Worcester, Earl of 






234 


Worlidge, Thomas 






90 


Worsdale, James 






172 


Wraxall, Sir Nathaniel . 






192 


Wren, Sir Christopher 






9i 


Wrestler, On a 






102 


Wright, Margaret 






1 60 



262 INDEX. 



PAGE 



Wright, Thomas . . . .25 

Wynter, Sir Edward . . . .126 

Yates, Mary . . . . .217 

Young, Miss A. . . . 153 



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